


Survivor

by RandomSlasher (Randomslasher), Thuri



Category: Scrubs (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, eventual OT3, het content.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-18
Updated: 2008-07-13
Packaged: 2019-05-01 17:03:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 44,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14525244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randomslasher/pseuds/RandomSlasher, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thuri/pseuds/Thuri
Summary: A terrible accident requires JD use all his skill to save the mentor he idolizes. But times of crisis can bring people together in unusual ways...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Beta by yutamiyu on LiveJournal who rocks all! Thanks again, you are totally awesome.

JD stared at the TV through Rowdy's legs, too lethargic to actually get up and move him. He had to wonder what Turk had been doing with the dog, but...he'd been wondering that for years, when he found Rowdy in various compromising positions and states of dress and undress. At least Carla's bra wasn't draped over him this time.

He was trying to figure out how badly he wanted the remote, sitting on the far end table, when the muted Happy Days rerun he'd been half-watching was interrupted by a breaking news bulletin. He blinked, swinging his legs over the side of the couch and sitting up a little, automatically glancing at the scroll. Plane crash. Ah, shit. He cringed, shaking his head slowly; God, those things were horrible. So many lost so quickly...

He watched the information popping up at the bottom of the screen. Headed into Burbank, landing malfunction, crashed into Griffith Park, massive causalities, so far no survivors... His frown deepened at the view on the screen. God, how the reporters could live with themselves, getting so close to something like that? He shook his head, about to get up and change the channel--this was really depressing, and he didn't need depressing on his time off--when the plane's origin caught his attention.

Chicago? Dr. Cox was flying back from Chicago that night, wasn't he? ...but nah. Odds were definitely against it being his plane. Surely it was another. There were lots of airplanes.

Still, JD found himself watching more anxiously, getting up long enough to shove Rowdy aside, before settling back and worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as further reports came in. Flight 1446...was that Dr. Cox's flight...? It sounded vaguely familiar, but...but no, Dr. Cox was flying 1496. Right? He had it written down somewhere, didn't he? Scrambling to his feet, he hopped over the back of the couch and squinted at the schedule tacked to the fridge, where he'd scrawled the flight info in case there was a delay and he needed to cover a shift. Shit--was that a four or a nine?

 _We really DO have bad handwriting_ , he thought, tugging the sheet off the fridge. A nine...please, God, it had to be a nine...

He was just wondering if he should call Carla at work--she always knew things like that--when there was suddenly a harried knock at the door. He felt the blood draining from his face, and dropped the schedule, hurrying forward--then feeling his heart sinking when he saw who was on the other side.

He pulled the door open quickly, eyes going wide. "J-Jordan?" he whispered. Oh no, oh no, oh _no..._

"Get your kit together, DJ, or whatever you call it. You're coming with me," she said, no greeting. "He'll need a doctor when they find him, and I'm not having whatever fumble-fingered idiot they have down there doing it."

JD felt the blood drain from his face, and for a moment he could do nothing more than gape at her, fingers clutching the door so hard his knuckles ached. "Doctor?" he whispered. "Oh, God...it was his plane?" No, no, _no!_ Dr. Cox... _Perry..._

"It was, and come _on_ ," Jordan snapped, her voice cracking on the last word, giving JD a glimpse of just how scared and worried she was. "He needs help and, much as it pains me to admit it, you're the one he trusts most. Now get moving!"

"But...they're...they're saying no survivors..." he whispered, still feeling stunned. "He...what if he's..."

"He. Is. Not. Dead." Jordan snapped out, each word a slap across the face. "I don't believe it for a second, and neither do you. So get moving! We can't waste the time for you to freak out."

JD jumped, but was finally shaken out of his stupor. He darted back into the apartment long enough to grab his jacket, then followed her back into the hallway. It wasn't a terribly cold night, but if...no, _when_ he found Pe--Dr. Cox, the jacket might come in handy.

Jordan led him downstairs, where Dr. Cox's Porsche was parked half on the sidewalk, driver's side door wide open. He swallowed hard, feeling something inside him tighten painfully that these were the circumstances under which he finally got to ride in his mentor's cherished car, but climbed in anyway, fumbling with the belt as Jordan started the car and threw it into gear, peeling out of the parking lot.

"You can tell them you're a doctor, they'll need help," Jordan was saying, the car eeling in and out of traffic, slipping into holes between cars that seemed barely big enough for it. More than once, JD closed his eyes, just praying she'd get them through. His knuckles were white where he gripped the dashboard and the door handle, though he couldn't decide if the nausea in his gut was the result of the reckless driving or the leaden ball of terror that had settled there the moment he'd seen her at the door. He nodded briefly in response to her question, cringing when she swerved around a bus into oncoming traffic, halfway tempted to tell her they wouldn't be saving anyone if they got killed themselves.

But then he pictured Dr. Cox, lying twisted and broken and bleeding somewhere out in the darkness, life's blood seeping into the hard ground, and he found himself unconsciously pushing his foot down on an imaginary accelerator.

The crash sight was easy enough to make out, when they finally did arrive, faster than JD would've thought possible but still not nearly as fast as he would've liked. Huge lights had been brought in from somewhere, throwing the scene into eerie relief. It was like something out of a TV show, sirens and flashing lights everywhere, emergency vehicles at the ready, reporters and onlookers alike pressing against the caution tape.

JD and Jordan both bolted from the car as quickly as if they'd been sitting in ejector seats, pushing their way through the gaping, whispering people to the caution tape, and the officers trying to hold people back.

JD managed to get the attention of an officer, explaining tersely that he was a doctor, with EMT training. The officer told him he'd certainly be welcomed, if they found anyone alive. He stood at the edge of the tape, clenching his jaw more tightly, trying to squint through the smoke and lights into the remains of the plane, looking...

Jordan grabbed his arm, hanging on for a moment before righting herself again. JD supported her, feeling a swell of sympathetic nausea. God...could _anyone_ be alive out there...?

"Was he flying first class?" he asked, going up on the balls of his feet.

"I don't know," Jordan admitted, viciously elbowing a woman who tried to push past her to get a better look. "He was going to try to get an upgrade, but he didn't tell me if he managed it."

"You knew someone on the plane?" The woman Jordan had elbowed asked, an incredulous look on her face. "I don't think there's anybody alive out there! They'd've found 'em by now."

Jordan rounded on her. "Look, dye job, you _really_ don't want to start something with me right now. So turn around, walk away, and mind your own goddamn business, all right?"

JD ignored them, again worrying his lower lip between his teeth, scanning the grounds. From this distance it was difficult, even with all the lights, to determine what was debris, what was luggage, what was rock and plant life and what was simply...well, remains. He shuddered, and suddenly, as much as he wanted to be out there looking, he realized that if he were to happen upon a piece of Dr. Cox...

He nearly threw up, right there, closing his eyes and putting a hand over his mouth; a moment later, he felt a hand on his arm, and turned to see Jordan looking at him, face inscrutable. "He's going to make it through this," she said firmly. "We just have to wait. And keep the idiots away," she added, glaring off to the side.

JD felt a swell of shame, knowing he should be the one offering comfort to her, not the other way around. But his heart had twisted itself into a painful knot that wasn't allowing him to breathe properly, the thought of losing his...his _whatever_ Dr. Cox was to him making it difficult to see, to think.

"Come on, DJ," Jordan said. "Don't fall apart here. He's going to need your help. We can panic _after_ we know he's okay, all right?"

JD nodded, offering a smile he was surprised to find returned, if only for a moment. But before he could offer her anything more, there was a commotion off in the distance, on the far left side of the wreckage field. JD gasped, trying to see into the darkness as the flashlights bobbed off in that direction, and the shouting grew louder.

Suddenly, the officer he'd spoken to before appeared in front of him. "You!" he said. "You're the doctor?"

"Yes," JD replied immediately, feeling the detachment it'd taken so long to perfect slip over him in a moment. "I am. You've found survivors?"

"Group of them," the officer confirmed, after listening in to his radio for a moment. "Four or five. Part of the plane disintegrated and it looks like they were thrown clear. They're in bad shape, though. Come on."

The officer held up the caution tape, and JD ducked under it, glancing back at Jordan, who gave him a nod and a solemn thumbs up. He sucked in a breath and turned around. "Where are they?"

"This way. Watch your feet, you don't know what all you might step in. EMTs are on the scene, but there's more than they can handle."

The officer kept talking, keeping up a running commentary, but JD tuned him out when it proved to just be chatter. Probably the man's way of dealing, and JD didn't blame him for a second. The crash site was like something out of a nightmare...One he knew he'd probably be having, soon enough.

The officer held up his radio again. "Location, Steve?"

There was a static-filled response, and the officer nodded toward JD, altering their path a little to the right and picking up speed. JD tried not to look at the images that flashed ever so briefly in the beam of the flashlight as it darted over the uneven ground. The smell alone was one he knew would haunt him for years--the stench of scorched flesh, bile, and massive amounts of blood, as well as the acrid tang of singed metal, and the overwhelming reek of fuel and burning rubber. He found himself wishing absently he had a handkerchief to press over his nose and mouth.

Just then, a cluster of lights came into view: A group of EMTs gathered around a group of what could only be passengers. JD tried to slow the pounding of his heart and raced forward, slipping over the blood-spattered sand. "How many?" he gasped as he approached, trying to scan the faces of the people on the ground.

"Eight alive so far, they're pulling out a few more. You the doctor?" At JD's nod, the woman turned away again. "That one on the end won't make it, a couple are touch and go, those four could all use your help..."

JD nodded, stripping off his jacket and pairing up with her, pushing his worry away for the moment, grabbing glances of the other passengers as he treated the ones in front of him, reflecting again that this was an under-appreciated job if there ever was one. He worked, and kept working, until they approached the last of the passengers she'd assigned them to and he felt his heart sinking. _Oh, no, please, no..._

Dr. Cox wasn't there.

He fought back the disappointment that threatened to overwhelm him once more and focused instead on helping the woman on the ground in front of him, reminding himself that she was someone's mother, or wife, or sister, or daughter, or friend...that someone out there might feel as bad as he did right now, but that he could reverse that. He shook himself, focusing on getting the worst of her wounds packed and treated.

He was so involved in his work that he didn't realize the continued shouts of the paramedics had drawn near once more. He glanced up only when they were practically on top of him--four of them, holding two stretchers, which they laid down next to JD and the four survivors he'd already helped treat.

He finished suturing the woman's wound, then stood, moving to the next: A young teenage boy who'd apparently been pinned beneath a piece of scrap metal, half impaled on it. Then an older woman with a severe head wound and a badly crushed leg. One after another, the paramedics freed the survivors from the wreckage, pulling them out and laying them in a line, where JD and the others could treat them.

They'd been working for nearly an hour, and JD had fallen into a kind of numb routine, when, upon kneeling next to the next survivor, he suddenly realized he recognized the digital watch on the man's wrist.

He spent a great deal of his time watching Dr. Cox's hands, after all. Demonstrating procedures, flying around in every direction as he ranted, wrapped around a coffee cup in the cafeteria. They were good hands. Strong, capable, attractive...he'd had to force his imagination away from them more than once. He knew he shouldn't be thinking about his attending like that, even if it was sometimes hard not to.

But he knew those hands, and he knew that watch.

All that flashed through his mind as his gaze went up the arm, the shoulder, to familiar curly hair. "Oh _God_..."

Dr. Cox was alive. Thank God...he was alive.

But hurt. Badly. His right arm was clearly dislocated, and bent awkwardly at the elbow as well, another site of a possible break. A gash on his forehead bled freely over his face; JD reached for some gauze and pressed shaking fingers over the wound, staunching the flow of blood, feeling its wet warmth as it oozed through the cotton fibers. He grabbed another piece, wetting it down as best he could with a canteen of water he'd been handed after ten minutes or so, and began to wipe Cox's face clean of blood, even as his eyes roved over the rest of his body, taking in his injuries. Blood was oozing from half a dozen cuts, a few quite deep, and JD could tell from the strained sound of his breathing that he'd probably broken a few ribs. He would need surgery soon--the risk of a punctured lung was great. He clenched his jaw, thinking of the way the rescuers were carrying people in--Jordan was right, they _were_ fucking incompetent. Jesus...

He continued his visual assessment of the older doctor. His right leg looked to be the worst of the injuries--it was a mess, and JD knew it must've been pinned beneath something before the rescuers found him. He barely bit back a dismayed moan--the older man's kneecap was crushed, clearly shattered, and the tibia and fibula were also broken in at least two places each, maybe more. The ankle was dislocated, swollen so badly Dr. Cox's shoelaces had begun to stretch, and he leaned forward, releasing the knot to relieve some of the pressure. His throat spasmed as he tried not to sob--God, it wasn't _fair_. Even if he survived, his mentor might never walk again. And as much as he didn't want to think about it, he was hinging that thought on a fairly substantial "if."

JD shook himself, and borrowed a stethoscope from one of the paramedics' kits, listening as best he could to Dr. Cox's heart and lungs. Fortunately, he could detect no hint of fluid build-up, which meant--for now, at least--that any internal bleeding was not entering his lungs. He wasn't in any immediate danger of drowning in his own blood before they could get him to a hospital.

His mentor had been one of the last they'd pulled from the wreck, so JD needed no excuse to stay with him. There was little he could do for the broken bones, but JD set about seeing to the minor injuries, bandaging the cuts and doing his best to stop the bleeding. As he worked, he uncovered another dozen cuts and plenty of bruises, and when he moved the older man's left hand he realized it was severely swollen--his wrist was, at the very least, badly sprained, maybe broken. He bit his lip, bandaging the wrist tightly and moping to clean Cox's face of blood. The features he uncovered were familiar and strange at the same time, the usually drawn brows relaxed, piercing eyes closed. He looked...he looked so _vulnerable_ , and for a moment, JD felt a surge of panic--Dr. Cox was supposed to be invincible, after all. This wasn't supposed to happen to him.

But a moment later, it was supplanted by a swell of protective determination. Cox _wasn't_ a superhero, much as JD might see him as one. He was human. And right now, he was hurt, and needed help. And JD knew, with a sudden strange certainty, that though Cox might've bitched about it and denied it, he _was_ the one the older man would've chosen to give him that help, if he'd had any conscious say in the matter.

And even though Cox hadn't had any say in the matter, Jordan had. If anyone knew what Cox would've wanted, it was Jordan, and much as they might swear otherwise, they trusted him. And he was not going to let them down.

Jordan. Oh, Christ, he had to get to Jordan...had to tell her Cox was alive.

He tugged off one glove, digging in his pocket and relaxing when he felt the familiar shape of his cell phone, pulling it out and pressing the voice recognition button. "Call Jordan, mobile," he said as clearly as he could, almost holding his breath until she picked up, glad he'd both programmed her into his phone when he'd been with Danni and never gotten around to deleting her after.

"DJ?"

"He's alive," JD replied instantly, and saying the words aloud brought a surprising swell of tears swiftly to his eyes. He blinked rapidly, pushing them back when he heard Jordan sob in relief.

"Oh thank God..." Jordan's voice was thick with tears. "You can stay with him, right? How is he?"

JD opened his mouth to reply, feeling his throat trying to close up again. "He's...hurt," he said finally, and his voice cracked a little. "Broken arm, broken leg, broken ribs...but he's stable for now, and I think...he has a good chance," he said at last, biting his lip as he reached out with shaking fingers to stroke the hair back from Cox's brow. He knew he'd never have done it, if the older man were conscious, or if Jordan were around to see, but right now he was not going to deny himself this small comfort. "He's the last one I treated, so I think I can stay with him now," he continued. "I'll ride back in the ambulance, if they'll let me--I think they will. I'll meet you there, okay?"

"Okay," Jordan said, voice still quaking. "Take...take care of him, kid."

JD nodded fervently, even though he knew she couldn't see him. "I will," he promised, voice cracking a little but the words firm.

When he heard the line go dead, he hung up, slipping the phone back into his pocket and moving to fuss over Cox again, doing all he could to ease him. His jacket he'd pulled off when he'd started working; he untied it from around his waist, moving to carefully slip it under Cox's head, swallowing again at the odd mixture of tenderness and fear at the pliant way he could move the older man's body. "You're going to be okay, Dr. Cox," he murmured tremulously. "You're going to be fine, I promise you. We'll get...we'll get you taken care of, and you'll be yelling at us again before you know it..."

Time passed in odd fits and starts, after that. The wait for an ambulance seemed to take forever, everything else moving in slow motion around them. One of the EMTs asked him if he was okay, when he explained he knew Cox, the other man just smiled slightly, and went about his business. But then once the ambulance arrived, the trip to Sacred Heart seemed to take no time at all.

JD stayed with his mentor as long as he could, reporting his findings to the ER doctor, leaving his side only when he absolutely had to and staring blankly at the doors that swung closed, separating them again. Only then did time reassert its normal grip, the sounds of the hospital around him all coming into abrupt focus.

He turned, realizing he was still covered in blood and worse, to find Jordan walking toward him.

Her eyes went wide, and she paled slightly as she rushed forward. "Oh, God, is that...?"

"It's not all his," JD assured her quickly. "There were actually thirteen survivors, and they were all in pretty bad shape..."

She breathed a sigh of relief, nodding as she looked him over, then looked around. "Where is he?"

"They took him back to surgery," JD replied. "Have to set his leg and take a bunch of scans, make sure nothing's...nothing internal's ruptured, or..." he trailed off when Jordan went pale, and lunged forward, grabbing her by the arm just as she began to sway. "Come on, Jordan," he murmured, leading her to a chair and helping her get settled. He frowned, kneeling in front of her. "When was the last time you ate anything?"

She blinked at him, visibly shaken, now that her initial rush to get her ex-husband to safety had faded. "I...I think around noon," she whispered. "We were supposed to have a late dinner together tonight, and...um...when they called, I didn't...didn't have..."

JD shook his head, silencing her. "I need to get cleaned up," he said softly. "I'm going to grab a quick shower and change, but I'll be back in about fifteen minutes. Then _you_ are going to come with me, and we're going to get you something to eat." He frowned, gazing up at her, feeling his throat tighten around the words of comfort he wanted to offer. But he just couldn't bring himself to say that Cox would be all right.

Not when he wasn't sure he believed it, himself.

She nodded, bringing a shaking hand up to rub her forehead, and released a slow breath through her nose. "Okay," she whispered. Then, when he stood, her hand shot out and circled his wrist; she gazed up at him, eyes shiny with tears. "Thank you," she said.

He nodded, blinking rapidly, and turned, heading for the locker room before he embarrassed himself by breaking down in front of her.

He hurried through the corridors, ducking past the other employees who were stopping to gape at him in horror. He ignored their questions, determined to get back to Jordan as quickly as possible, determined to get an update on Dr. Cox's status. He sprinted into the locker room, thinking he was home free--only to be accosted by Turk, the moment he set foot inside.

"JD, dude, I thought you were off today--holy SHIT!"

"It's not mine," JD said quickly, going over to his locker and stripping off his blood soaked shirt. "There...there was a plane crash, and...and..." He sat down hard on the bench, dropping his head to his hands. "Dr. Cox was on it. He's in the ER now and Jordan's there too, and I need to get cleaned up and get back to her and find food and figure out what's going on and...and I'm gonna be sick."

He at least made it to a trashcan.

Turk darted forward, rubbing his back; JD could hear him mumbling, "Oh, sweet Jesus...Oh my God..." but he ignored it, emptying what felt like everything he'd eaten in the past week into the flimsy plastic lining, then heaving more when there was nothing left to bring up. Finally, wiping his mouth with the back of one badly shaking hand, he slumped to the ground, leaning heavily against the lockers, trying to breathe.

"All right, man, all right," Turk finally said, kneeling next to him; JD spared a moment to feel thankful that no one would question his frazzled nerves, since he'd just come from a crash site. "If they brought him to the ER then he's alive. He's going to be okay. If a plane crash couldn't bring him down, then nothing will."

"Yeah..." JD let out a shaky breath, pulling himself under control again. "Yeah...you're right. I just...God. I couldn't break down before, Jordan's close to falling apart. And he's...it's bad, Turk, really bad, and it wasn't just him. It was like...like the worst on-call shift times a thousand. The smell..." He shuddered. "I need to get it off me, make sure Jordan's okay, shake for a bit myself, and I'll be okay." He smiled slightly. "You're on call, right?"

Turk nodded. "Yeah, man. I'll do my best for him. You got something to change into?"

JD nodded. "Yeah. Even an extra pair of shoes...started keeping them after Mr. Porter destroyed my last pair..." He knew he was babbling a little, but he found he couldn't let himself dwell on just how much this was affecting him. On how much it had hurt, seeing Cox so still, or on the wave of desperate relief he'd felt on seeing the man alive.

"All right," Turk said, rubbing his back again. "Go shower, I'll call Carla and see if she can bring something easy on the stomach for both you and Jordan. He'll be okay, JD."

"Turk...thanks," JD replied, managing a smile for him. He took another deep breath, and finished stripping, pulling his keys, wallet and cell phone out of his pants pockets before letting them drop to the ground. His socks followed, and he shuddered to see they were stained rusty red, before heading into the shower as Turk took everything away.


	2. Chapter 2

JD took as fast a shower as he could manage, giving in to his urge to just stand under the hot water for only a moment, before scrubbing his hair and skin, lathering up and rinsing off in record time. And, by the time he'd dried off and dressed in fresh scrubs, he felt almost himself again. At least the smell had become a memory...if still one he couldn't get rid of.

He walked out of the locker room and moved toward the nearest linen closet, pulling out a blanket. If Jordan wasn’t at least partially in shock, he’d be surprised, and besides, the hospital was too cold for the spaghetti-strapped evening dress she was wearing. He swallowed hard, imagining how shemust’ve expected her night was going to go. This wasn’t _fair..._

Walking as quickly as he could, he soon joined Jordan again, finding her sitting where he'd left her, staring at her hands in her lap, altogether too still and quiet. "Thought you might be cold," he offered, slipping the blanket around her shoulders. She tugged it close, giving him a slight smile in return.

"Couldn’t have found anything scratchier, could you?" she asked, but her heart obviously wasn’t in it.

"I’ll go back and look, if you like," JD replied, smile widening slightly. "Has there been any news?"

"Yeah," she said replied unsteadily. "They’re taking him to surgery to deal with shrapnel--something about a resection?--and his knee needs to be worked on a lot, too. Then they're going to admit him to the ICU when they're done. But other than that..." she shook her head, grimaced. "I couldn’t get clear answers, because they kept giving me the wrap about not knowing for certain until the slides came back, but...they already set his leg and got his shoulder back into the socket, and most of the rest of it you'd seen to in the field. They said to tell you you did a good job, by the way. Not just on Perry, but on everyone."

JD felt himself relax a bit, too relieved Dr. Cox was still hanging on to be much affected by the praise, and stood up. "He's going to be okay," he murmured, trying not to shudder as he recalled how limp and utterly unresponsive Cox had been, lying bleeding on the ground. "Come on, let’s get coffee and something to eat..."

He led her to the cafeteria, settling them both with cups of very strong black coffee. "Feels weird just to sit here..." he said softly after a few minutes of tense silence.

Jordan nodded, staring into her own cup. "I’ve been on edge since they called...but at least you could do something. Thanks, DJ."

"For what?" JD asked, thinking he should be thanking her for trusting him so much.

"For caring about that jackass nearly as much as I do," Jordan replied simply. "You’re the only one he’d’ve wanted out there, if it had to happen...and you were willing to do it." She let out a long sigh, straightening her shoulders. "He’s going to be impossible, when he wakes up, he’s useless when he even gets a hangnail..."

She kept talking, but JD just smiled, basking a little in the glow of her unaccustomed praise. And hearing her say that Dr. Cox would've wanted him out there...it meant a lot. She wasn't the sort who'd say something like that if she didn't mean it, after all.

Now if only they could know for sure that Cox would be okay...

It was only after Jordan had stopped talking, and the two of them had settled into a companionable (if anxious) silence, that Carla appeared in the doorway. She spotted them quickly, and darted forward, looking pale. "Bambi," she said. "Jordan...is he...?"

"He's in surgery," JD replied, reaching out and squeezing her hand. "It...it's bad. We're waiting to hear, but..." he trailed off, desperately wanting to say he'd be okay, but unable to find the strength to put any conviction behind the words. He knew what broken ribscould've done to the older man's lungs, and he'd taken quite a knock to the head. Even if he recovered physically, there were no guarantees he'd make a complete mental recovery.

He swallowed, the thought of a Dr. Cox who wasn't Dr. Cox anymore sending a sharp ache through his chest. He couldn't even imagine it--imagine the older doctor without his sharp wit, the scathing sarcasm, the long-winded and ever-creative rants...to think of him any other way physically _hurt._

"He'll be okay," Jordan said softly, when it became clear JD couldn't. "He's too stubborn to have it any other way."

Carla slumped slightly, setting a lunch bag on the table and dropping into one of the chairs. "It was all over the news tonight, but I never thought...this just doesn't happen, you know?"

JD didn't point out that it did happen, to everyone, it just didn't usually happen to _them_. He tugged the bag over, opening it, wondering if he'd actually be able to convince Jordan to eat. But he knew he had to. The strange protectiveness he'd felt for Dr. Cox, as he lay helpless in the field, had extended to his mentor's ex-wife; he knew Cox would want him to look after her, just as much as he'd want him to look after Cox himself.

"It's surreal," Jordan agreed softly, as JD pulled out deli sandwiches from the convenience store and distributed them, giving Jordan an encouraging nod when she paled slightly at the sight of the food.

"It is," Carla agreed, sighing as she stared at her own food, making no move to touch it. "But he's a stubborn bastard. He'd survive a plane crash just to spite the statistics."

Jordan actually laughed, though it was tremulous, and her eyes were once again bright with unshed tears. "Yeah, he would," she agreed as she opened the roast beef sub in front of her and took a small bite.

"Of course he would," Carla replied, smiling. "He does everything else just because he shouldn't..."

They settled in, eating, talking softly, playing the waiting game of all family and friends forced into a vigil through surgery. JD envied Turk a little, as he swirled cold coffee, knowing he shouldn't go back for more. Not that he would've necessarily been the one to operate on Cox, even if he were a surgeon, but at least then he'd know for sure what was happening...

Still. He knew his friend was an amazing surgeon, even if he was still a resident, and with Dr. Miller as the attending on call tonight--which JD knew because Turk had been groaning about it earlier--Cox was in very capable hands.

It didn't make the waiting any easier, though.

He managed to eat his whole sandwich without really tasting it, but to his surprise (and relief) he actually did feel a little better when he was done. He knew it shouldn't surprise him--he was a doctor, after all, and understood basic physiology--but the fact that he was able to eat it after everything he'd seen, and while Cox was back in surgery as they spoke, and didn't immediately want to vomit immediately afterward...

_What do you know? I've developed an iron stomach. Dr. Cox might even be impressed..._

The thought made him sigh, softly, glancing up at the clock again. God. No wonder he was exhausted, it was after one am. If he thought he'd have a chance of sleeping, he would've headed to the on call room, used the time until Cox was out of surgery wisely.

Instead, he had another cup of coffee, listening to Jordan and Carla reminisce about Cox from years before JD'd arrived at Sacred Heart. He stayed quiet, letting them, liking getting to hear stories about his mentor when he was younger. Stories Cox wouldn't ever tell himself.

Eventually, Carla stood, gathering the trash from their midnight meal. "All right, I have to get back home," she said, stretching a little. "I’ve got an early shift tomorrow, and need the sleep...you two should get some, too, if you can."

JD got to his feet, hugging her and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, Carla," he said.

She tilted her head, smiling sympathetically at him. "Hey, don't worry, Bambi," she said. "I said I'd take care of you, didn't I?"

He chuckled a little, remembering that day--the first day he'd met her. And the first day he'd met Cox. So much had changed since then..."You did, and you always have," he agreed, blinking quickly against the slight sting in his eyes.

Carla glanced at Jordan, who climbed to her feet and moved around the table. She allowed Carla to give her a brief hug too, and even returned it, then said, "You get home. I'll be okay."

Carla smiled for her again, and turned to JD. "Come on, Bambi, I'll give you a ride."

JD blinked at her, and then frowned. "I'm staying here."

Carla and Jordan both stared at him, and JD flushed, a little defensively. "What?"

"Bambi...you can't do anything else for him," Carla said slowly.

"He'd stay for me," JD pointed out, unconsciously crossing his arms. "Besides, I'm his _doctor_ , I brought him in. I'm not going anywhere." He also didn't think Jordan should be left on her own, but he wasn't about to say that aloud. Not when she was close enough to hit him, anyway.

Jordan was giving him a strange look, face carefully blank but eyes oddly knowing; when Carla frowned again, looking ready to protest, Jordan said, "DJ's right. He should stay."

JD smiled at her, glad of her support, even of the look she was giving him was making him squirm a little. "I just...he's looked out for me for four years," he said, turning back to Carla. "I want to return the favor."

Carla looked from Jordan to JD again, then shrugged. "All right," she said, shrugging. "I need to get home and sleep, but...well, call me if there's any change."

"We will," JD assured her, giving her another hug and watching as she gave him a terse smile, then turned and walked out of the cafeteria.

JD turned to Jordan. "I think I'm going to go get my shift covered, and maybe see if there's any news," he said. "Why don't you head to the on-call room, and I'll meet you there?"

Jordan frowned. "They wouldn't be done by now, would they?"

JD shrugged. "The surgery's supposed to take several hours," he admitted. "I'm mostly just..." _Killing time_ , he finished internally, but bit off the words before they could be voiced, deciding it wasn't the most appropriate expression to use just now.

She didn't say anything, but nodded, and fell into step beside him as they left the cafeteria and headed down the hall.

"How you holding up? For real?" JD asked after a few moments, wondering if he’d get a straight answer.

"I've been better," Jordan replied with a wry twist of her lips.

JD nodded briefly. "Yeah, me too," he murmured, then cringed; it was hardly the same, for him, after all. Dr. Cox was his mentor, and yes, all right, he harbored a bit of a hero worship crush on the man, but Jordan was his...what _were_ they calling one another, anyway? Significant other? Boyfriend and girlfriend? God, didn't that sound Sweet Valley High? Actually, come to think of it, he thought they both rather got a kick out of referring to one another as an ex-spouse; it threw everyone off, when they realized they were together in spite of being divorced.

JD let his thoughts wander, feet leading him toward the on call room on auto-pilot; he didn't even realize they were there until he realized they'd stopped in front of the door, and Jordan was looking at him expectantly. "Oh, right," he said, feeling sheepish. "Ah, this is it. You want to go lie down, and I could find you something more comfortable to sleep in--!" He yelped, startled, as she suddenly grabbed his arm and dragged him into the empty on-call room. She kicked the door shut behind her, then pushed him up against it, pressing her body tightly to his and crushing their mouths together in a desperate, passionate kiss. A soft, agonized noise left her, and he didn't know if it was a whimper or a sob.

He gaped at her, wide-eyed, when she paused for a moment to let them breathe. Her eyes were red and streaming, but hard with lust and need. "Jordan, what...?" he panted, but didn’t have time to protest more before she was devouring him again, grinding her body against his and calling up a response he’d never expected to have to her again.

"Shut up and kiss me, DJ," Jordan grated back, hands busy pulling his scrubs top up, nails raking across his skin.

"But...we..." It was hard to argue, when one of her hands ducked into his pants, closing around his cock. And Little JD wasn’t about to argue with the attention. It jumped and twitched for her, pulling a rough groan from deep within him.

JD wrapped his arms around her, pulling her hard against him, kissing her back. Intellectually he knew her action and his response were fueled in large part by their fear, the horror of what they'd just been through, but he didn't care. People to reacted like this to death and destruction all the time, anyway, and right now they both needed the release, badly.

He slid one arm up her back, holding the back of her head, fingers fisting in her hair, grateful in the knowledge that he didn't have to be gentle with her. Because he wasn't sure he could find it in him, just then.

She broke the kiss, gasping, and pushed him toward the bed, none too gentle herself. He felt the back of his knees hit the mattress and sat down with a hard thump, watching her dumbly. She lingered only long enough to lock the door, then stepped forward, slipping the thin straps of her dress off her shoulder and tugging at the zipper, shimmying out of the garment. Beneath it, she wore gartered stockings and a slinky black silk slip, and with her hair mussed and her lips kiss-swollen, JD felt his resolve crumbling and his groin tightening. God, she was gorgeous, even like this--wild. Untamable. "Now you," she breathed, even as tears continued to stream down her face.

"Jordan, are you sure...?" JD forced himself to protest weakly, knowing he shouldn’t let this happen, but not certain how he was going to stop himself. His whole body ached to feels hers against him again, cock throbbing in the confines of his boxers and scrubs, tenting the fabric rather obviously.

"Shut up and lose the clothes," Jordan grated, moving forward and straddling his lap, grinding down against him. Her head tipped back, and she sighed, mouth dropping open a little as she rocked her hips against him.

That was all it took. JD clumsily tore his scrubs top off, toeing out of his shoes at the same time, then reached up, sliding his hands up her thighs. The silky fabric of her slip gathered at his wrists as his fingertips explored the smooth, soft contours of her hips and belly, then pushed higher when she didn't protest. She raised her arms to help him, and together they pulled the garment off her, letting it float to lie crumpled next to his shirt. He watched her face as he lifted his hands, smoothing them over her breasts, cupping them gently. She sighed, arching into the touch, and he felt his arousal climb another impossible notch higher.

She moaned, then, and pushed him down onto the bed, rolling them so he came to rest on top of her. Half in a daze, he obeyed her unspoken guidance, and propped himself up when her hands went to the drawstrings of his scrubs to allow her easier access. He groaned, and thrust his hips forward, as she brushed against the front of his erection, and she growled lightly in response, tugging at the fabric until she found what she wanted. "Hello, DJ," she whispered, stroking him.

"Hey, Jordan," JD replied breathlessly, leaning down to kiss her again, slower, but more thoroughly this time. He broke off in another moan when she tightened her hand around him, resting his forehead against her shoulder. "God..."

"I know," Jordan murmured, gasping a little as JD fell to suckling at her neck. She pulled away only long enough to tug off her thong, unclasping the garters but not bothering with the hose. "Take me," she whispered in his ear, nibbling at the lobe. "Please, JD..."

"I shouldn't," he said weakly, though every inch of him screamed to do as she asked, and bury himself in her wet, welcoming heat. "I don't...I don't have..."

"Doesn't matter," Jordan whispered. "Just do it. Now. I need you. _Take_ me."

With that, the last of his resolve scattered to the wind, and he braced himself as she spread her legs and lifted them to circle his hips, giving him access. He closed his eyes, biting his lower lip, and pushed himself into her slowly, releasing his breath on a harsh sob as he did. God, she felt so fucking wonderful, and he needed this so badly...

She wrapped her arms around his back and tightened her legs around him, urging him to move. And again, helpless to do otherwise, he obeyed, beginning a rhythm that was unsteady but forceful, venting his pent-up grief and terror and worry in the purely physical act of their joining. Jordan's whispered commands spurred him on, encouraging him to go faster, harder, and he strove to meet them, his breath echoing harshly off the bare walls of the room, mingling with hers. He wasn't going to last long, he knew; he was simply too wound up. Already he could feel the tingling beginning at the base of his spine; could feel his balls tightening, drawing in heavy and hot and close to his body.

Fortunately, Jordan seemed to be in the same boat, her breath going harsh as her fingers turned to claws against his shoulders.

"Yes, JD...God, yes, harder, please..."

He gritted out a choked cry, slamming into her, feeling himself already beginning to let go. She suddenly sobbed, arching strongly below him and clamping around him in spasms that seemed to draw him deeper; with a shudder and a low moan he came apart inside her, spasming and aching with the force of his release.

And he realized it was more than a physical release for them both, as he saw tears spilling down her cheeks, heard her panting breaths dissolve into sobs. He collapsed, turning them over and pulling her atop him as she began to cry in earnest.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, rubbing her back gently, fingers stroking soothingly through her hair. "It's okay," he whispered, even as a few tears slid down his own cheeks. He fought back the many more that wanted to join those, knowing one of them had to stay strong, and knowing Dr. Cox would want him to support Jordan when he couldn't. "It's okay. He's alive. He's alive."

"I know, I just..." Jordan's voice cracked, and she drew a deep breath, obviously trying to pull herself under control.

"Yeah," he whispered, hiding his face in her hair for a long moment. "Me too." JD knew they should move, get up, make sure no one found them...who knew what rumors would result, after all, and Cox was still in surgery, they should check on him...

But he couldn't stop; not yet. Couldn't take the comfort of this embrace away from her; couldn't bear to lose it himself. So he rolled them, gently, until they could hold each other, shuddering with the aftershocks of both their orgasms and the horror they had somehow survived this night. Bracing themselves for the hardships they both knew were yet to come, in the long hours and days and weeks that would follow.

And though he knew it wasn't how she'd planned to spend her evening, who she'd planned to hold, there was caring and affection there, at least, and a shared worry and sorrow that brought them closer than they ever had been.

Finally, when he was sure her tears were spent, JD pulled gently free, kissing Jordan softly. "We should clean up and unlock the door, at least," he said softly. "Other people will be trying to use the room...and I can see if I can get someone to sneak upstairs and find out how it's going."

She sniffed, and nodded, wiping at her cheeks. "Okay," she murmured, sounding more vulnerable than JD had ever heard her, and it amazed him somewhat to remember how strong she'd been before, how confident. He drew a deep breath and released it on a sigh, thinking that he could see why Cox had fallen for her. She really was an astonishing woman.

She drew back, rolling to sit on the edge of the bed; for a moment JD simply lay and looked at her, the strong, graceful line of her back, her smooth skin, her shoulders. He watched as those same shoulders suddenly straightened, and she sat up, the confidence coming back around her so palpably that JD could almost see it--a shield of armor she donned to keep anyone else from seeing how hard this was for her. JD felt oddly touched, as she stood and began to dress, that she'd shown this side of herself to him.

She glanced back and saw him watching her, and arched an eyebrow. "You going to get dressed first, or is this your plan for getting someone to pay attention to you more quickly?"

JD smiled, stretching for a moment before reaching for the scrubs he'd left crumpled on the floor. "Thought it might get me answers faster if I showed up naked," he offered, smile deepening when she looked pleased. He wasn't nearly as adept at playing along with her barbs as Cox was, but he knew she appreciated it when he tried. And just now he wanted to make the extra effort, help her as much as he could.

"Might just scare the interns," Jordan replied, easily, watching him tug on his clothing.

JD stuffed his feet back into a pair of battered running shoes--not that he'd often gone running in them--and ran a hand back through his hair. Dry from his shower, now, and lying limp across his forehead. Ugh.

"Well?" he asked Jordan, raising an eyebrow. "You coming?"

"Definitely not letting you try this on your own," she shot back, but her smile widened slightly as JD led the way out of the room.


	3. Survivor

JD led them to the surgery ward, where he inquired with the night nurse as to which room Cox was in, and in what condition. She checked, then returned, telling them he was in room C. However, when they began to walk back toward the observation windows, she stopped them.

"I'm afraid the attending has asked there be no observation for this procedure," she told them, looking regretful.

JD sighed, understanding, if reluctantly. Enough people would've heard, by now, that it was Cox in there, and the last thing Dr. Miller would want was a bunch of people gawking. Truth be told, JD didn't want it either. But that didn't stop him from wanting to watch, himself.

"What?" Jordan snapped, obviously less willing to accept the answer.

The nurse shrugged. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but she..."

"Don't you 'ma'am' me, you little--"

"Jordan," JD cut her off gently. "It's okay." When she stared at him, looking incredulous, he drew her aside and said quietly, "You know Dr. Cox is a legend around here. The moment word gets out that he survived a plane crash and is in surgery...he'd become a spectacle."

She blinked, then slumped, looking weary, but nodded. "Yeah, you're right," she murmured. "But can you...can we at least find out how he's doing?"

"We can," JD replied, squeezing her hand surreptitiously, before turning back to the nurse, using all his charm, until she left again, to find out about Perry's condition.

Jordan sighed, slumping slightly. "God, I wish this was over. I hate the waiting, not being able to _do_ anything...At least you already helped him. You did something."

"You got me there," he reminded her. "God, Jordan, if it hadn't been for you...I wouldn’t have known, wouldn’t have been there. You helped him more, by being strong enough to keep it together, and get him help."

Jordan sighed, crossing her arms. "You're right. Dammit. But waiting...at least before you were working, had something to do."

"Yeah," JD agreed. "I did. You're right, too. Neither of us like feeling helpless, huh? Especially when it involves someone we care about..." He shook his head, pulling himself up when the nurse appeared again.

"He's stable," she said. "They're still working on his resection. They've got an orthopedist on the way to work on his knee, and his hand."

"His hand?" JD frowned, straightening. "What's wrong with his hand?"

"He fractured a bone--one of the metacarpals in his left hand. They're going to need to place some pins, they think."

"How much longer?" JD asked with a sigh, thinking if they had to rebuild his knee and his hand it might be awhile yet. He just wanted to _see_ Cox, reassure himself his mentor would be all right. And he knew it had to be worse for Jordan, who hadn't seen him at all yet.

"The orthopedic surgeon is on his way, but he won't get here for about an hour or so," she said. "Dr. Turk said it would be another hour and a half or so before they finished the resection, then the orthopedist is going to take care of the knee and hand, so probably not until morning, I think."

Jordan frowned at JD. "Why would they work on his knee in the middle of the night?" she murmured.

"To keep from having to put him under the general anesthetic more than they have to, while he's still unconscious," JD replied with a sigh, trying to hide just how disappointed he was that they still had hours to wait. "It's potentially dangerous; it could send him into a coma, if they put him under too many times."

"Dammit..." Jordan clenched her jaw, biting back whatever else she'd been planning to say.

JD didn't blame her. Fuck...he should sleep, they both should, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to manage it. And he had more practice at grabbing what sleep he could than Jordan did, though being a mother probably gave her a good grounding in it ... _You're babbling, Dorian._ "I want to be kept updated," he told the nurse firmly. "I'll be here all night, page me if anything changes."

She nodded, writing a note on a scrap of paper. "I will," she said. "And I'll tell the nurse on day shift, if he's still in surgery, that you're to be notified when he's out."

JD nodded at her. "Thank you," he said, then turned, placing a gentle hand at the small of Jordan's back and guiding her out of the room. "Come on," he murmured. "We can't do anything for him right now."

Jordan didn't argue, though JD wasn't sure if that wasn't worse than if she'd blown up again. He led her back to the on call room, tugging her down onto a secluded back bunk. "We should try to get some sleep, at least. He's going to need us awake, when he comes out of this..."

She looked up at him, blinking rapidly. "He will, won't he?" she whispered, and for the first time that night she really seemed uncertain. "He'll be okay?"

JD didn't reply right away, sliding in next to her and pulling her close against him, almost smiling when she rested her head on his chest, still a bit awed by her sudden trust in him. "Yeah," he whispered, knowing she needed to hear it. They both did. They had to hold onto hope, if they wanted to have any chance at making it through this. "It'll take time, and therapy, for him to recover fully, but...He’ll still be him. He will." Saying it, JD was surprised to realize he almost believed the words.

She nodded against his chest, one arm winding around his waist. "It's just...he's so...strong, I guess," she whispered. "It's hard to believe anything could bring him down like this..."

"It took a fucking _plane_ ," JD pointed out, stroking her hair softly. "He's gonna be so pissed..."

Jordan suddenly began to giggle. "He is, isn't he?" she said, wiping at her tears.

JD nodded. "He is," he confirmed. "Probably demand a refund from the airline..."

Jordan began to laugh in earnest, wrapping both arms around JD and hiding her face in his shoulder. He grinned, rocking her a little. "It's going to be okay," he told her again. Unspoken were the words they both understood without needing to give them voice:

It could've been much, much worse.

Eventually, somehow, they did both fall asleep, wrapped around each other. Despite his fears that he would, JD didn't dream, his sleep too deep, too exhausted to give the nightmares any hold.

* * *

The sound of his pager going off finally pulled JD awake, and he fumbled for a few moments at his waistband, before waking fully, finding Jordan still half on top of him, snoring softly. He shivered as the memories of the day before came crashing in on him. _Oh God. I slept with Jordan. Again. While Dr. Cox was in surgery...I’m so_ dead.

But the continuing sound of his pager pulled him from his pending panic attack. Finally freeing it from his scrub pants, he pulled it up, and gave a slightly relieved sigh, before shaking Jordan gently, pushing back his own worries as far as he could.

"Jordan? Jordan, wake up..."

She moaned, burrowing into his shoulder.

"Jordan, he’s out of surgery."

 _That_ woke her up.

She sat up, blinking. "Wh--he is? Where is he?"

JD sat up, drawing her with him, and rooted under the bed for their shoes, wondering how many people had seen them sleeping together. "Probably in radiology so they can take the slides," he said. "Turk's said to meet him in the ICU; he's going to tell us how it went while we wait for him to get down there."

She groaned. "More waiting?" she muttered.

JD shrugged. "You are at a hospital," he reminded her, forcing himself to forget what they’d done. She certainly had been through enough, without him freaking out. Again. "We have whole rooms for it."

She sighed, tugging on her shoes and rolling her eyes at him. "Did he say how he was doing?"

JD shook his head. "No," he replied, showing her the page and its short message.

She blinked, frowning as she read it, then looked up at JD. "He...he would've said, if it was something bad, wouldn't he?"

"I...I don't know," JD admitted, deciding he'd better be honest. "I think so, but I don't know for sure. Let's go find out." He pulled his second shoe on and stood up, absently running a hand through his hair as he headed for the door, realizing he was praying unconsciously. Well...why not? He might not always be certain he believed in God, but this was definitely a time to have the big guy on his side...

He barely fought down the urge to run. Not that he would've needed to have worried about Jordan keeping up, she was making him stretch his legs as it was. But the walk to the ICU seemed to take forever, and each step gave rise to a new cascading set of worries, fears, uncertainties.

Turk was waiting, when they stepped in the door, leaning against the counter at the Nurse's Station looking exhausted. JD stopped trying to slow himself and sprinted the last few steps, eyes wide. "Turk?"

Turk looked up and saw them approaching, and gave them a sober smile. "Hey, man," he said, moving forward and pulling JD into a brief hug.

"Hey, CB." JD hugged him back, somehow keeping his mouth shut until Turk released him. Not that he needed to have bothered.

"How is he?" Jordan asked, fear and the hope completely audible in her voice.

Turk gave her a thumbs up. "Stable," he said. "I just got the page from Radiology, and he's on his way up. We're putting him in bed seven." Seven was one of the private ICU beds, with walls and windows instead of just curtains.

JD nodded, looking toward the double doors anxiously before forcing his attention back to Turk. "Everything go okay?"

The surgeon nodded. "Yeah. Lot to do, but he remained stable throughout the procedure. We had to give him two units, but he did fine with them, and we were able to get all the bleeding stopped before he got too anemic. The only thing we're still worried about is that bump on his head--there's a possibility he's got a bit of a concussion--but other than that, everything else should heal fine. In time, of course."

JD let himself relax slightly, looking at the doors again. Jordan had her full attention focused on them, and if her will had had anything to do with it, Perry would've been flying through them.

Smiling slightly, JD hugged Turk again. "Thank you. God, Turk, thank you so much...Have you got a ride home, man? You look awful..."

"Carla's coming to pick me up," he confirmed. "She's going to come up here to check on him first, then I'm home free for two days. And don't worry about it, man," he added, squeezing JD's shoulder and giving him a smile.

"He's here," Jordan suddenly said, and darted from their sides over toward the bed that was being wheeled into the ICU.

JD hesitated, but only until Turk gave him a little push. And then he was right behind her, swallowing hard as Cox came into view, so still, so pale. It'd been strange enough, treating him the night before, but now seeing him as he'd seen so many other patients...He wished it was a dream, that Cox was about to come in through the doors behind him, whistle and launch into a rant...

But even with his imagination, JD's dreams were never this real. He followed the orderlies and Jordan into the small room, hanging back in the corner as Cox was transferred over to the bed, as they got him settled, only stirring when he felt Turk's hand on his arm. "You okay, man?"

JD shrugged. "Not really. It’s...fucking weird, you know?"

Turk sighed, glancing at the bed. "He's doing really well," his friend murmured. "Dr. Miller was impressed he remained stable throughout the surgery--she'd expected him to be a little more troublesome. Might've been going off how he acts in real life..."

JD laughed softly, watching Jordan stroke Cox’s cheek lightly, pushing down the mess of feelings in his chest. "Maybe she was. Can’t think he’ll be a decent patient when he wakes up..."

Turk snorted. "I don’t envy you being in charge of him, dude, I really don’t."

JD nodded, but before he could reply, there was a gasp from the doorway. They turned to see Carla staring at Cox, eyes wide, hand over her mouth.

JD sighed as she moved forward, only half listening as Turk explained the situation to her. He couldn't really blame her for her reaction--it had pretty much been his, finding his mentor on the field, or it would have been if he hadn't just been so grateful to find him alive at all. Cox, along with being pale, had a plaster cast from halfway up his thigh down to his ankle; his left hand was in a strange looking splint, and right arm in a sling as well, which was secured with a brace around his back to keep him from moving it. They had him on a 100% non rebreather mask-- "Just until he wakes up," Turk was telling Carla--so his face was half hidden. What was visible was bruised, the lines around his eyes cutting deeper, making him look older than he was. The abdominal incision--not to mention the wound from the shrapnel that had caused the damage in the first place--was hidden by his gown, but JD had heard about it, and he knew it would be a painful injury, and would take a long time to heal.

They had him on a catheter as well, but hadn't started any IV nutrition. "We're hoping he might wake up today," Turk was telling Carla. "The cut on his head took eight stitches, but it wasn't bad otherwise; still, we want to check him for concussion, or any personality alteration because of it."

JD closed his eyes, feeling a little faint, listening to Carla's shocked and worried reactions. Despite his reassurances to Jordan, JD knew they couldn't really relax yet. Knew it better than most people would've, and it made him wish for a moment that he could be ignorant, just hear the doctors say things would be okay and believe them.

He sighed, taking the chart from the end of the bed and moving out of the room, leaving Carla and Jordan at the bedside as he reviewed the notes from the surgery. Apart from the fractured metacarpals and the shrapnel, neither of which JD'd known about, Cox'd also ruptured his spleen, presumably upon impact; they'd removed it after they'd completed the resection. JD shuddered as he read, knowing that given the extent of Cox's injuries, time had truly been of the essence. The older doctor would have bled to death, had he spent even an extra hour out on the field.

"Almost lost you, Big Dog," he whispered, feeling his eyes stinging; he blinked rapidly, fighting the urge to let his emotions win out. They would, eventually, if he didn't get some real sleep, but...right now, he just couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to leave, even for a moment. He would, before it got too dangerous for him to keep treating Dr. Cox, but...as long as he could be there, he would be.

Taking a long breath and giving himself a moment to calm down, he set himself, opening the chart once more, before going in to check Cox's vitals. They weren't out of the woods yet, by any means, but...he found himself cautiously optimistic. And knew where he'd be spending all his free time, today at least. He wondered how much use he'd be to his other patients, knowing his mind would be in this room, the whole time. But...he'd just have to manage.

"I'm officially on in about five minutes," he told Jordan, as Turk and Carla left. The nurse would be back as soon as she'd dropped Turk off at home, but there was no denying he was too tired to be driving himself. "And he's my first priority, promise. You've got my pager number, right?"

"Yeah," she replied softly, stroking Cox's bare arm--one of the only exposed patches of skin available. "Thanks, DJ. I'll let you know if anything changes."

JD nodded, swallowing a little, wishing he had the luxury of being able to stay at Cox's side, hold his hand, kiss his forehead...he shook himself. No sense pining after things that weren't his, and never could be anyway. He gave Jordan a small smile. "See you soon," he said.

She nodded, giving him a tight smile, before returning her attention to Cox. JD sighed, checking him over one more time, before heading out to start his day.

Still, his mind stayed mostly with his mentor, and he couldn't pass by room seven without at least looking in, seeing if Jordan needed anything, if Cox's status had changed. It was strange, going through his routine without Cox hanging over his shoulder, whistling at him, calling him a girl's name. Every time he saw a lab coat, for a split second he half expected it to be Dr. Cox, and each time it wasn't only served as a mental and emotional punch in the gut when he remembered why it wasn't.

All in all, it was one of the longest shifts he'd ever worked, even though it was only eight hours. By the end of it, he knew he'd have to get some sleep--he was exhausted, dead on his feet. He hadn't slept in over a day, he realized, apart from the catnap he'd shared with Jordan.

Jordan. God, what was he supposed to tell Dr. Cox? Were they going to tell him? He wasn't sure if he couldn't. The older man had forgiven him, last time, but could he this time? Still, he knew he couldn't keep it a secret...if Cox found out on his own, later, it would only be a thousand times worse. And besides, maybe he'd understand they'd only done it because they were worried about him, stressed, needing release...

He barely bit back a bitter laugh at that one. Yeah, right. Dr. Cox might believe that was why Jordan had slept with _him._ But his mentor wouldn't for one instant believe JD's own grief could be such that it would drive him into the arms of his ex-wife. Cox didn't know exactly how deep JD's feelings for him went, and JD wasn't about to tell him, but he knew that would mean his motives would look less than pristine. In fact, he'd look like scum: the sort of guy who'd seduce a grieving widow for his own pleasure.

And he'd learned from watching Cox with Petey that the older man didn't quickly forgive that sort of guy.

"I'm so screwed," he muttered to himself, making a final notation on a chart before setting it down, pinching the bridge of his nose. He shook his head, sighing, deciding that if Cox hated him, at least it would mean he'd be alive to do it. And that was worth everything.

He stopped by Cox's room on his way out, knowing he didn't want to go home, but that he'd be useless if he didn't get some real sleep. "Hey, Jordan," he said softly, smiling apologetically when she started slightly. "Sorry. My shift's over and I've got to get some sleep, if I'm going to be any good for him later..."

Jordan nodded, stretching herself out. "Okay, DJ. Thanks for letting me know."

"I'll be back in a few hours," JD offered, stretching and hearing his back pop loudly. "Elliot's covering here, and he's stable..." He wanted to stay, to have an excuse to say more, but he couldn't think of anything. Except... "Can I bring anything back for you?" he heard himself asking. After being with Danni and babysitting for Jack, he knew his way around Cox's apartment better than perhaps he should've.

Jordan half-smiled, and dug keys out of her purse. "Here. If you're not sure what a girl needs in her overnight bag, ask your roommate. But I think you can manage, right?"

"I'll try," JD replied, taking the keys and nodding at her. "Let me know if..."

Jordan nodded, her expression once again one he couldn't read. "I'll make sure you do."

He nodded, turning away and heading out to the parking lot.


	4. Survivor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta by [](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/profile)[yutamiyu](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/) who rocks all! Thanks again, you are totally awesome. Everyone else, she's gotten us four of the remaining nine parts, so we'll be getting them out quickly! We're so, so sorry for the long delay. Stupid real life.

JD returned that evening, giving Jordan the overnight bag he'd put together for her, and settling in by Cox's bedside in her absence. She'd wanted to shower, change and get some food and he could hardly blame her. She'd been sitting in the same uncomfortable chair all day, after all.

And now here he was instead, his feet propped up on the mattress beside Cox's casted leg--but carefully far enough away to do no harm--examining his mentor, willing his vitals to improve, for him to wake. To be himself when he did.

"Dr. Cox," he murmured, after checking the door was closed, "I don't know if you can hear me, but...You have to get better, okay? You're too important to too many people. Jack needs you, Jordan needs you. And Carla depends on you more than she'll admit, and you're the best thing this hospital has going for it, and...Well, I know it probably doesn't mean so much, but I don't know what I'd do without you. Not as a doctor--I know that what I still need to learn, I can on my own--but...I know we're not exactly friends, but you mean a lot to me, and...the world needs you too much to lose you, okay?"

Cox was still. JD didn't really expect anything else, but it still hurt a little, and he blinked, trying not to allow the weary tears to rise. But this time, he wasn't able to stop them; climbing to his feet and closing the blinds quickly, he moved forward and scooted the chair closer to his mentor's bedside. Then, lowering his forehead gently to the older man's forearm, he released a shaky sigh and let the tears fall. "Please, Dr. Cox...Perry, you...you have to be okay. This isn't supposed to be it for you, this isn't...isn't how you're going to go. Please..." His voice choked off in his tears, but the pleas continued in his mind for a long, long time.

He wasn't sure how long he cried, and he never knew Jordan opened the door, saw him, and stepped back again, giving him his moment along with his mentor. All he knew was that when he finally pulled himself together once more, blowing his nose repeatedly and scrubbing his eyes, Perry's fingers were twitching.

His eyes went wide, and he leaned forward, staring into Perry's face. "Dr. Cox?" he breathed.

Perry's brows twitched, eyelids moving ever so slightly; as JD watched, they fluttered a little.

JD felt a wide smile spread across his tearstained face, and he touched Cox's arm lightly. "Hey, Dr. Cox. Can you hear me?"

The monitor sped up a little as Cox's heart rate picked up, and as JD watched, Cox's breathing began to speed up, growing a little more shallower as he left the deep recesses of his nearly comatose state and began to move toward consciousness. His eyebrows twitched slightly, and there was a soft, almost inaudible moan.

"You're coming out of it," JD murmured, almost to himself, wanting to dance. His smile somehow widened, and he leaned closer as Cox's head turned toward him--and slowly, slowly, his eyes opened, and rose to JD's face.

"Hi," JD said, in the cheeriest tone he could manage. "It's about time you woke up, I've been covering your patients for _hours_."

Cox blinked, eyes cloudy, swirling with confusion and absolutely no recognition.

JD bit the inside of his cheek, but told himself not to jump to conclusions. The other man was still pretty drugged up, after all. "Jordan's here, she just stepped out for a few minutes. You're at the hospital, but we're taking good care of you...All you have to do is rest. We'll look after you."

Cox blinked a few times, slowly, eyes half-lidded, then closed them again, and did not move, save the steady rhythm of his breathing. He was out again.

JD sighed, trying not to feel too disappointed. Cox'd woken up. That was the important thing. In fact, it was pretty damned astonishing, given how much had happened to him, and how long he'd been in surgery. Given his condition, it wouldn't have been surprising for him to remain out of it for another few days, even.

"You're too damn stubborn to stay out of it for long," JD murmured, smiling slightly, before pushing himself up. He should let Jordan know. But before he left, he very hesitantly stroked the side of Cox's face, giving himself a single moment to pretend. "Glad you're still with us, Perry," he murmured, before setting himself and heading out once more.

* * *

The night passed slowly, Jordan catching what sleep she could, always alert to catch the next time Cox woke. JD checked on them often, sitting in companionable silence with her when he could, letting her sleep knowing he'd wake her if Cox opened his eyes again.

But he didn't, not by morning, and JD started the second half of his double shift with a feeling of anticipation hanging over him. It was like Christmas at Grandma Dorian's house. You were excited because it was Christmas, but dreading it because she knit the most God-awful sweaters your mother insisted you had to wear the whole visit. JD couldn't wait for Cox to wake up, but at the same time he dreaded everything that would follow. Even if all the complications were avoided, if Dr. Cox was still himself...he faced months of recovery and rehab. And JD didn't even want to think of how the other man would handle that news. He wanted even less to think of the fact that Dr. Cox would be gone, while he recovered, and JD wouldn't be able to see him, to help him...

But that was putting the cart before the horse, as his Grandpa Dorian--who'd always had peanut brittle in a tin and had shown him how to gut a fish (and not laughed when he'd thrown up)--always said. So JD forced himself to stop dwelling on the future, stop worrying over the fact that he'd slept with Jordan (again), stopped everything but concentrating on covering Cox's patients in addition to his own, and still spending every moment he could with Jordan.

Who disappeared in the early afternoon.

JD frowned when he stepped into Cox's room and realized Jordan wasn't in her accustomed spot right beside him. He leaned out of the room and glanced around the ICU, but she wasn't anywhere in sight; frown deepening, he moved into the room again and picked up Cox's chart, glancing through it. He'd ordered a neurological consult to go over the CT scans; though he'd been watching for the guy, he saw from the progress notes that he'd missed him. But the CT scan looked good, according to the notes, and he allowed himself a moment of relief, one more fear easing a little. Dr. Cox's brain appeared to be functioning normally, which meant that apart from some possible anterograde amnesia, he should make a full mental recovery. He'd still be Dr. Cox.

JD slumped a little at the thought, a small, weary smile playing at his lips. He hooked the chart back to the end of the bed, moving forward and pulling off his stethoscope to listen to the older man's heart and lungs. He didn't need to--the telemetry monitor was beeping away at him, and the pulse ox sensor taped to Cox's finger told him his O sats were fine (98%), but there was a part of him that wanted the simple comfort of hearing his mentor's heartbeat; wanted the excuse to lean close enough to feel the warmth coming from the other man's body, hear the soft sigh of his breathing beneath the hiss of the mask.

He placed the earpieces in his ears and leaned down, laying his hand lightly on Cox's chest. He spread his fingers a little bit, feeling the heat of his skin beneath the thin fabric of the hospital gown, then slid them up, coming to rest on Perry's shoulder, right at the junction of his neck. As he moved the stethoscope, checking each lung as best he could from the front, he let his thumb caress the skin of Cox's neck, stroking in slow, almost imperceptible movements.

When there was nothing more he could conceivably check, he reluctantly drew the stethoscope away, pulling it out of his ears and looping it back over his neck, but he remained bent forward, hovering over Cox, studying his face. The gash on his forehead had been stitched up in the ER, and there was a light bruising around it; there was another bruise under one of the older doctor's eyes, along the line of his cheekbone. But other than that, Cox might've just been sleeping, lips gently parted beneath the transparent mask that was supplying him with oxygen, eyelashes resting against the fragile skin underneath.

JD bit his lip, reaching forward as though in a trance to stroke the curls away from Cox's brow under the half-formed pretense of checking the stitches, though the gash lay closer to his temple, and JD was stroking the hairline above the older man's eyebrows.

"You're going to be okay," he whispered. Then, on impulse, he bent forward, pressing his lips to the skin his fingers had revealed, feeling the tickle of Cox's curly hair against his upper lip as his hand slid down to cup the older man's cheek instead. A faintly textured growth of facial hair met his fingertips, and they curled automatically, driven by a protective impulse he did not quite understand.

It wasn't a long kiss, by any means, but JD lingered for a few seconds, allowing his eyes to drift shut as he drew in a deep breath, absorbing the scent of Dr. Cox under the ever-present smell of sickness, antiseptic and ammonia that pervaded the ICU. There had been precious few times over the last four years that he'd been allowed a chance to get close enough to Cox to absorb his scent, but he knew he'd always recognize it in a heartbeat: the faint musk of aftershave, the smell of his shampoo, a hint of scotch, and the very distinct, very _male_ scent that was Cox's alone. JD absorbed as much of it as he could before he finally drew back, pushing himself away from the bed as the sounds of the ICU began to work their way back into his consciousness.

He stepped away from the bed, gazing down upon Cox for a moment longer before releasing his breath on a sigh, running one hand absently back through hair he hadn't bothered to spike. When he turned, however, he barely suppressed a startled yelp.

Jordan stood in the doorway, leaning against it, arms folded and head tilted as she gazed back at him, face inscrutable. JD felt his own go beet red--he didn't know how long she'd been standing there, but something in her pose told him it'd been long enough.

"How's he doing?" she asked, her voice even, lips quirking slightly.

"He's, a...about the same," JD replied, swallowing hard. "The neurological results are good; he should be himself when he wakes up again and..."

Jordan's slight smile widened. "Good. You've been reassigned, by the way. I told the board members and Kelso how I felt, and Perry's your only patient now. So you can give him your full and mm, _unbiased_ attention."

JD felt his blush deepen. She _knew_. He didn't know how she knew, but she did, and he guessed the kiss had been no surprise to her. But where in the hell did that leave him? "I...okay..."

"Oh, relax, Sparky, I'm not going to bite you," she said, moving into the room and walking to the other side of Perry's bed. "Though clearly we're going to need another chair," she added, lifting an eyebrow.

JD snorted, and nodded. "I'll look into that. And go find out who's taking my patients and his off my hands...I should fill them in. Jordan..." He blushed, when she looked over at him, but let out a long breath. "Thanks. I'll do my best for him."

"You'd better, DJ, or I'll regret getting you assigned," Jordan retorted, settling herself by Cox once more. "Go do what you need to do so you can get back here."

Smiling slightly, JD took himself from the room, wondering what he was supposed to make of all that. Jordan catching him kissing her ex-husband's forehead, and not only not being surprised, but just seeming to accept it... _Maybe it'll be okay that I slept with her...Or maybe I'm just even more screwed than I thought._ Deciding he really didn't want to think on it, he headed off to get things worked out, so he could get back to where he wanted to be.

* * *

When he got back, about an hour later, there was an extra chair in the room, as well as a pile of blankets and a couple pillows. He lifted his eyebrows as he pushed open the door, intending to ask Jordan about it, but when he entered the room he realized she was sitting on the edge of her seat, eyes fixed on her ex-husband, elegant fingers curled lightly over his forearm.

"Jordan?" he said, moving forward quickly, kicking the door shut again with his heel. "Is he okay?"

"He moved, and made a noise," she whispered. "I think he might be waking up again."

JD smiled, resisting the urge to ask her why she was whispering. "That'd be a very good sign. I'm almost surprised he woke up once already...it wouldn't have been that odd for him to have been out for a few days." He kept his own tone at a normal range, eyes scanning the monitors before returning his attention to Cox, willing him to open his eyes. He didn't really care if he would be in trouble after, he wanted to see them again too much.

_I am such a girl..._

"Dr. Cox," he said, as he moved closer to the bed. "Dr. Cox, can you hear me?"

Cox groaned a little--barely more than a whimper--and the monitor tracking his heart rate picked up speed. His grin broadened, and he looked up at Jordan, giving her a thumbs-up.

"Perry?" she said, and her voice was unlike JD had ever heard it before--soft, gentle even, and very warm. "Sweetie, open your eyes..."

Cox's eyelids fluttered, head turning toward her just a little; she blinked rapidly, eyes going shiny. "Good," she whispered. "Open your eyes."

Cox did. Slowly. He kept them fixed on her, but from his angle JD could still see them, could see the recognition in them, beneath the drugged haze.

Could see the affection, too. The love.

He bit the inside of his cheek, pushing down his reaction, ignoring pain like a steel splinter digging into his heart. He should have become accustomed to it, after all this time. "Keep talking to him," he offered Jordan, managing a smile from somewhere, hoping his eyes didn't show as much as he feared they did.

"You're in the hospital," Jordan murmured, reaching out to stroke Cox's cheek, not even looking up at JD. "You...you were hurt pretty badly, but we're taking good care of you, okay? Don't worry."

Cox blinked, slowly, brows drawing together a little; his head turned, and his eyes flitted over to JD's, who tried to smile for him. "Hey, Dr. Cox. Don't worry, you can check your chart over as soon as you wake up enough, and make sure I'm doing everything right."

Cox's brow furrowed a little more, and JD bit his lip, wondering if Jordan was wrong when she'd assumed Cox would want JD for his doctor. His mentor mumbled something, and Jordan frowned, leaning closer. "What was that, Per?"

Cox sighed, closing his eyes, though his brow remained furrowed for another few minutes before smoothing out into sleep again.

"Well, he can ask for someone else when he wakes all the way up, too," JD said, trying to smile. "I'll stick around until then, I guess..."

"Of course you will," Jordan replied, frowning herself. "Damn, I hate all this waiting."

"Yeah, me too..." JD sighed, sinking down into the extra chair, rubbing his temples. His shift was over, but he wasn't going anywhere. God. Stuck in a room with Cox and Jordan, the one unconscious and the other apparently aware of his crush on the older man...What, exactly, were they supposed to do to pass the time? Play I Spy?

Jordan sat back, still watching her ex-husband; after a long moment of silence, during which JD wondered if he'd end up falling asleep himself, she murmured, "That was a good thing, right? That he woke up?"

"Yeah," JD assured her, running a hand back through his unspiked hair again. "It really is. Even better that he recognized you. He didn't recognize me, before..." And hadn't seemed to this time, either, but JD wasn't going to dwell on that.

"He's out of it, kid," she said softly. "He'll know you, when he wakes up for real."

"Christ, am I really that obvious?" JD asked, scrubbing a hand over his face, knowing he was asking about more than his current disappointment.

Jordan smiled slightly. "You really are, DJ. Sorry if you thought you were being subtle..."

"Great." JD let out a long sigh, unable to meet her eyes. "Does he know?"

There was another long moment of silence, then she said softly, "Yeah. He knows."

 _Oh God..._ JD bit the inside of his lip. "Thought maybe the whole mentor thing would mask it. At least a little..." He let out a short breath, squaring his shoulders, though he still couldn't look up. "I won't...I mean...I'm not going to do anything, Jordan. I know it's not going to happen, I know he doesn't...couldn't ever feel the same, even if it weren't for you. I'll try to be better about showing it. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she said. "It's not exactly like I can blame you. I'm in the same boat." She turned back to Perry and smirked, shaking her head a little as she reached out to stroke his cheek. "He's obnoxiously lovable."

JD pushed down the sudden lump in his throat. The last thing he was going to do was break down in front of Jordan, even if she wasn't as hard edged as usual. At least...at least if Perry-- _Call him Dr. Cox, you idiot, or you're going to slip!_ \--at least if _Dr. Cox_ knew about his crush, well...maybe he would believe that JD'd been upset enough to take comfort in Jordan's embrace.

It was small consolation for finding himself suddenly laid bare, but consolation nonetheless. "Yeah," he murmured softly, curling his fingers around his elbows against the urge to once again touch the older man's hair, lean close and listen to the reassuring thump of his heart.


	5. Survivor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta by [](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/profile)[yutamiyu](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/) who rocks all! Thanks again, you are totally awesome.

Over the next day, Dr. Cox's condition remained more or less the same. Dr. Rhoads--the orthopedic surgeon--Dr. Miller, and Turk all came to check on him, and Dr. Rhoads went over the slides with JD and Jordan, explaining what would still need to be done.

"He's going to need more surgery on that knee," he told them. "The patella was broken in four places. We've rewired it, but we're going to need to do a replacement procedure when we go in to take out the pins. It was too risky to keep him under for that long, before."

"Will he be able to walk?" Jordan asked softly, glancing from JD to the orthopedist, face carefully blank. JD could read the fear in her eyes, however, and reached out to give her shoulder a quick squeeze.

"With therapy, the chances are good he'll regain most function in the limb, yes," the surgeon said, turning back to the slide. "He's done some considerable damage to the ligaments, so he'll never be 100%, but chances are he'll be able to walk with only a slight limp. It'll take a lot of work on his part, though," he added, peering at them over the tops of his glasses. "He'll have to be willing to stick with it."

JD almost smiled. "He's stubborn. I don't think that'll be a problem."

Jordan shot a glance at him, but her expression eased. "That's good to hear...What about his hand? And his arm?"

"The knee is the worst of it," the surgeon said with a shrug. "The arm and hand should heal fine. He'll have to have the pins removed after a few weeks, but he should regain full function. It was a clean break." He paused, glancing at them. "He was a lucky man, from what I hear."

JD shivered internally, remembering the scene of the crash, but simply nodded. He'd resisted telling the story to anyone who'd asked, but he wasn't sure if maybe the rumors going around weren't worse. Even if he did come out as a hero in several of them...

He thanked the surgeon, and he and Jordan returned to Perry's bed, closing the door. They'd taken him off the mask, and weaned him down to two liters of oxygen on a nasal cannula instead; Jordan moved to the bed and leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to the older man's mouth. "We're back, babe," she told him (she'd started talking to him as though he were awake, at JD's suggestion, hoping it would help him regain consciousness faster to know there were people waiting for him). "Looks like you're going to be all right."

"You'll be back and yelling at everyone in no time," JD offered, picking up Perry's--he'd given up trying to think of the other man any other wa; it just felt somehow strange, now--chart, flipping through it. There was nothing more for him to do, and he knew everything it said, but he wanted the distraction, while Jordan settled herself again.

Eventually, she did, and he set the chart back down, slumping into his own chair and picking at a loose thread in his t-shirt. For a time, there was silence; then Jordan said, sounding amused, "You keep doing that and the hem's going to unravel."

"They always do," JD replied, looking up and smiling slightly. "Don't think I have a single one that isn't mostly ripped out..."

She smirked. "I can't really say anything, I guess," she said. "Every pair of jeans I own is too long for me, and I never get around to altering them, so I walk on the heels until they're tatters."

JD laughed, surprised by the admission from her. "Really? Mine were like that until I finally got tall in high school..." Were they really bonding over clothes? Well, God knew it was better than sitting in silence, or watching her watch Perry while trying not to watch him himself...

"Well, what actually happens is when I shop, I'm in heels," she said, rolling her eyes at herself. "They're the perfect length, then. But when I'm wearing jeans, I'm generally in tennis shoes, and for some reason I never put two and two together when I'm _actually_ shopping."

"My mom just bought things too big so I'd grow into them. Or they were Dan's hand-me-downs and were already thrashed...but I started picking the hems out of my shirts when I was in elementary school. I was always finishing things early and was bored..."

"You were a picker, huh? I was a doodler," she replied. "Danni was a note-writer. I assume Dan is your brother?"

JD nodded. "Yeah. He's four years older than me." He grinned wryly. "He's the cool one, I'm the smart one. And I started doodling later, but if I don't have paper and a pencil...my shirts suffer."

Suddenly, there came a slurred voice from the bed: "Have things really gotten so lax around here that you've got nothing better to do than flirt with my ex-wife, Newbie?"

JD started, pulling himself up as he felt his face go red. But then a grin spread across it, and he moved over to see Perry's eyes open and looking at him. "Well, you've been snoring a little, but that's not exactly four star entertainment," he replied, grinning at Jordan for a moment.

Perry blinked at him, lifting an eyebrow, then turning to look at Jordan. "One of you wanna explain what I'm doing here?" he asked.

Jordan shook her head, though there was a faint smile about her lips. It disappeared as she began talking, though, her voice once again gentle and soft. "Your plane had a landing gear malfunction, Perry. It..." she hesitated, looking at JD.

"It crashed, in Griffith Park," he finished for her, watching Perry closely. "You're one of the twelve who made it."

Perry stared at JD, then looked back at Jordan. "My _plane_ crashed?" he repeated.

JD nodded. "What's the last thing you remember?"

Perry opened his mouth, then closed it again, frowning. "Packing," he said at last. "In my hotel in Chicago."

Jordan reached over, lightly squeezing his arm again, looking up at JD, her face worried.

"That's normal," JD offered, trying to keep his tone light. Dealing with patients who'd just regained consciousness wasn't exactly his forte, and now that the patient was Perry... "Considering the concussion. Want to let me know how you're doing, or should I go ahead and ask all the usual questions?"

Perry cringed, shifting a little. "How about we skip that part, and you tell me when my next dose of pain medication's due?"

"Now good? I'll get you Demerol, and then we'll hook you up to morphine PCA." JD ducked out of the room, almost gratefully, glad to miss the reunion between Perry and Jordan that was sure to come. And to put off being told Perry wanted a new doctor for as long as he could.

* * *

Jordan watched JD go, before turning back to Perry, stroking his hair back from his head. "Well. You've done it. You've got my undivided attention, Perry. It's good to see you awake."

Perry cringed again. "I think I preferred the coma," he said. "Fuck, I feel like..."

"Like you survived a plane crash?" Jordan supplied, lifting an eyebrow.

He snorted. "Yeah. Like that. How long've I been out, anyway?"

"Almost two days," Jordan replied, fingers still move gently through his hair. "DJ tells me it's good you're waking up so soon..."

"He's my doctor, huh?" Perry chuckled, a little painfully, and winced again when the action made his sides ache. Broken ribs, then. Great. He added it to the mental list of ailments he was keeping in his head--a list that, especially given he'd only been awake for about five minutes, was already pretty damn long.

"You think I would've let it be anyone else?" Jordan asked, raising an eyebrow. "He came with me to the crash site, and treated you there. Then rode with you in the ambulance, spent the night, and has only been home for a few hours since. Think he's worried about you, Per."

Perry wrinkled his nose, and growled a little. "From the feel of it, he's got cause to be," he said. "You made him go get some rest at some point, I hope?" Newbie would drive himself to exhaustion, if no one was there making sure he didn't...

Jordan's soft smile widened. "Yes. I'm taking care of him, he's taking care of me, and we're both looking after you."

"Sounds like you've got it covered quite nicely," Perry said, settling back down into the pillows a little. He looked up at her, taking in the lack of make-up, the bags under her eyes, and her eyes themselves, which were bloodshot with lack of sleep and shiny with tears.

She was beautiful.

"Hey lady," he murmured softly. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she replied, stroking his cheek gently and leaning down to kiss him softly, her tears spilling over as she closed her eyes. "I am now."

He closed his eyes, kissing her back, wanting to reach out and hold her but knowing he couldn't at the moment. "Yeah, you are," he whispered. "You're strong. Strong for the both of us right now, huh?"

Jordan opened her eyes, and saw JD watching them through the window, barely masked pain on his face. "The three of us, I think," she replied, nodding slightly over at him. "But I'll do my best. Love you, Perry."

Perry glanced over at JD, who looked away swiftly, though not before Perry caught the wistful expression on the young man's face. He glanced at Jordan. "Got it bad, doesn't he?" he said softly.

"Mmhmm," Jordan murmured, going back to stroking Perry's hair. "He really does. Question is, what're we going to do about it?"

* * *

JD flushed when Perry caught his eye, knowing he'd been caught watching his mentor and Jordan kiss. He would've left them alone, but...Perry's pain was obvious even from outside the room, so he pulled himself together and knocked, waiting for Jordan to open the door.

She did, a moment later, that oddly knowing expression on her face again. JD flushed harder, a small part of him wondering if the smirk on her face was gloating--but no. Jordan had been nothing if not understanding, and besides, it wasn't like they were competing over Perry or anything.

 _That_ competition would be over even faster than the one-on-one basketball games he used to play with Dan, when his brother would occasionally suffer his company on the courts.

"I, uh...I have his shot," he murmured, stepping into the room when Jordan moved away to make room for him. He moved forward, feeling a little awkward, then realized Perry was giving him a strange look, too.

_Oh, shit...she told him..._

He wondered if there was even any more blood left in his body that wasn't already working on turning his face into a tomato. He stepped forward, lifting the needle by way of explanation, and moving give his mentor the injection when Perry nodded briefly to him.

"Got a guy from anesthesia on his way to set up the morphine pump," he said, mostly to fill the silence, wondering when the other shoe would drop and they'd laugh at him, kick him out, and tell him not to bother to come back.

Or worse, when those knowing expressions would shift to pity.

Perry nodded at him when JD released his arm. "Thanks, Newbie," he said softly.

"Just doing my job," JD replied with a slight smile, though he couldn't hide the care in his own voice when he said it. _I am so pathetic._ "For as long as you want me to be the one to do it, at least," he added, turning away to deal with the needle and get himself under control again. _Detachment, detachment, he's a_ patient _first, Dorian, act like it..._

Finally JD felt like he could talk again without making a fool of himself. "There anything I can do or any questions I can answer for you?" he asked, trying to sound professional, since he didn't think he could manage normal just then.

"Yeah," Perry replied. "You can tell me why it is you keep acting like you think I'm going to be upset with you for taking care of me."

Well, so much for talking without making a fool of himself... _Christ_. "I..."

Perry waited, eyebrows raised. Jordan moved forward again, settling gracefully next to Perry and smirking up at JD. "I told him he'd be the one you'd want, but apparently my word wasn't good enough," she said, looking amused.

Perry turned to her, and their eyes met, and JD swallowed when both of their grins turned a little mischievous. "He didn't believe you, huh?" Perry asked.

She raised an eyebrow, grin widening as she turn to JD. "Well, DJ? Did you?"

"Um. I..." JD scrubbed a hand through his hair, pushing it off his forehead. God, he'd forgotten how annoying it was down... "I'd understand if you wanted someone else," he said finally, wondering if he'd ever felt quite this uncomfortable before. "But I'm doing my best for you." He managed a slight smile. "Guess I might as well stick around;Jordan got them to take all my other patients away until you're out of here."

"Yeah, well, can't compromise the quality of your care," she said with a shrug.

JD actually chuckled. "For Perry, or for my other patients?" he joked. "I was a little distracted."

"Perry?" Perry repeated, looking up at him incredulously.

JD flushed again, biting the inside of his lip. "Sorry. Dr. Cox." Fuck. He'd known he was going to slip up...

"Awfully chummy of you, Maggie," Perry said, lips twitching a little. "Something happen between us while I was out or something? Confessions of undying affection, perhaps? The revelation of your desire to be my long-lost son?"

"He kissed you, once," Jordan confided, leaning forward and touching Perry's forehead lightly with two fingertips. "Riiiiight there."

"I...uh...gonnacheckonthemorphinepump," JD blurted, escaping as quickly as he could.

He darted from the room and pulled the door closed behind him, then all but sprinted out of the ICU. He was shaking, he realized, glancing with mild interest at his hands.

Maybe some food would do him good. Yeah. Food. Or at the very least, coffee. God, he needed coffee.

This was bad. This was very, very bad. He'd thought they might be angry--he'd expected that, at least. He wouldn't've been surprised by insults, harsh words, or demands that JD never set foot in the room again. He'd've been hurt by them, but he would've expected them.

But this...this teasing, this drawing him in then slapping him down with their smirks and their chiding and their jokes...this, he wasn't sure how to handle. He almost wished they'd ask him to leave, or that Jordan had let him keep his patients, because now he was to be in the room practically 24/7, and if he knew Jordan and Pe-- _Dr. Cox_ \--they were just getting started.

It didn't help, either, that a small, quiet voice in one corner of his brain whispered that, if it were anyone else, he'd've said they were flirting with him.

* * *

Jordan watched him go, an amused smile on her face, and turned back to Perry. "See?"

He nodded, the Demerol already starting to kick in and making him comfortably drowsy. "I do," he murmured, words slurred just a little. "You're right."

"Of course I'm right. The kid's got a thing for you. He's got one for me, too, you know," she added, watching Perry's eyes drift closed, before opening again slowly. "Hey...you're going to be all right, okay?"

"That reassurance or a decree?"

Jordan chuckled. "A little of both. But you will be. Get some sleep, superman, we'll both be here when you wake up."

Perry let out a soft chuckle of his own, before gratefully letting sleep come for him once more.


	6. Survivor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta by [](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/profile)[yutamiyu](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/) who rocks all! Thanks again, you are totally awesome.

JD stayed away as long as he could without feeling guilty, drinking two cups of coffee and waiting until he thought he could handle himself again, if only for a bit. Fuck. What was he supposed to do? He didn't know how to react to their teasing, but he decided he'd just have to shrug it off, ignore it the way he did Per-- _Dr. Cox's_ rants and bad moods. Just not let them get to him...Even if he'd be lying if denied his crush.

Sighing, he gathered coffee and food for Jordan, knowing she must be hungry, and made his way back to the room, to find he'd missed the anesthesiologist's arrival. The morphine pump was set up, the clicker near Perry's right hand. An awkward arrangement, given that his right arm was in a sling, but the left hand was splinted, so... _Fuck, he's gonna hate it when one of us has to help him eat._

Pushing that thought away, JD offered a fair approximation of his usual smile to Jordan, along with the food he'd grabbed. "Hey. Thought you might be hungry."

"Thanks," she said, accepting the food. She nodded at the pump. "You'll have to turn that on in about an hour," she informed him, clearly relaying a message she'd been given. "There are orders for it in the chart. But he can't use it yet, because you gave him the Demerol too recently."

JD nodded, settling down into his chair and picking up the chart, glancing through it to read the anesthesiologist's notes. Peripheral IV, eighteen-gauge needle, left elbow. Not ideal, but neither of Perry's hands was in any position to give them easy access for a line, so Perry would just have to keep his arm relatively straight.

 _Perfect,_ he thought wryly, glancing at the sling. _One arm he can't bend, the other he can't straighten. He's going to be thrilled._

"How long has he been out?" he asked, deciding that maybe the most dignified course of action would be to completely ignore the humiliating events from before.

"Since about five minutes after you left," Jordan said. "That Demerol kicked in nicely. I think the only thing keeping him alert was the pain."

JD, who'd tensed up when she mentioned his leaving (because really, it hadn't been the most graceful departure ever), felt himself soften with sympathy. He glanced over at Cox, trying to keep his face professional, but knowing his expression probably belied the pity he felt for his mentor, and the empathetic pain that tore at his own heart.

"He's been through a lot," he agreed softly. "Honestly, it's nothing short of astounding that he's doing as well as he is. Most patients waking from that sort of surgery have to deal with nausea from the anesthetic as well as pain from whatever sent them into surgery in the first place."

Jordan shuddered. "Thank God for small favors that he didn't," she replied. "He'd've had a hell of a time trying to roll over to throw up."

"No kidding," JD muttered, sighing a little. He finished reading the progress notes left by anesthesia, then shut the chart and hooked it back over the end of the bed. "He should be out for awhile," he said at last. "But when he wakes up again, we should see if we can get him to eat something. I've ordered a clear liquid diet, as tolerated, so we can get him some broth--might be easier to keep him on things he can eat through a straw for awhile. For all of us."

"Good plan," Jordan murmured, lips twisting wryly. "It always seems like the ultimate cruelty to break something in each arm, you know?"

"It does," JD agreed, looking rueful. "He'll have to have help with pretty much everything, for awhile. And he won't be able to walk, with that leg and his arm broken..." JD sighed, realizing as he further assessed his mentor that the older man would probably be in the hospital a lot longer than he'd like. But they couldn't send him home, not just with Jordan. She might be strong, but JD doubted she'd be strong enough to deal with the sheer bulk that was Perry Cox.

He bit back a sigh, thinking briefly of Ben. Jordan's brother had been huge himself, taller even than Perry, and if he were alive he'd no doubt be more than willing to help. He'd probably also bring a great deal of levity to the situation--that man had been good-natured about _everything_ , even his own condition.

He pushed those thoughts away, looking up and jumping a little when he realized Jordan was watching him.

"You're thinking hard," she said.

He chuckled lightly, no real humor to the sound, and nodded. "Just trying to figure out what all he'll need, when he gets out of here," he replied softly. "He's not going to want to stay any longer than absolutely necessary, but...he's going to need a lot of care for the next few months. Especially until his arms heal." Maybe they could keep him on a catheter for awhile...but even so, they wouldn't want to do that for too long. The risk of infection was pretty high, and a bedside urinal would serve just as well, even though P--Cox would need some help with it. He could use a bedpan, too, once they removed him from the clear liquids and it became necessary again--he wouldn't _like_ it, but...well, he wouldn't like most of what they were going to have to do.

"Well, I can take as long as I need," Jordan said, waving her hand.

JD hesitated, then decided to bite the bullet. "He's...he's going to need more than just one person, I'm afraid," he said softly. "Pe--Dr. Cox is a big guy, and he's going to need to get out of bed and move around, to prevent bedsores and to keep both of you from going insane, most likely. We might..." he sighed, running a hand through his hair, then shook his head. "We might need to keep him a little longer, until he's more mobile," he said at last.

Jordan snorted. "Yeah, right," she said. " _You_ try telling him that."

JD cringed. "Look, I'm sorry," he said softly. "But you know him. He's stubborn. He'd try to do more than he was able, and he'd end up hurting himself...it's just not safe, Jordan. You might...you might look into getting some sort of home health aide, but I think he'd like that even less..." His lips twisted wryly. _Because he's so thrilled to have me, and all his interns, and everyone see him like this. Fuck..._

Jordan didn't answer, just chewed her sandwich with the same insufferable expression she'd been wearing most of the time lately. JD sighed internally, wondering what she was planning to do to him now. He sat back in his chair, again resting his heels on the bed, steepling his fingers and resting his chin on his thumbs. "I'm not looking forward to telling him just how bad it is," he said softly, after the silence had stretched out too long.

Jordan set down the sandwich she'd just raised to take a bite from, looking slightly ill. "He'll be all right."

"Yeah. After a lot of work, and time, and..." JD shook his head. "He's gonna know he'll never be the same."

"He's alive," Jordan said softly, gaze fixed on her ex-husband. "That's what counts."

 _It's what counts to_ us _. He's still gonna hate it..._ But JD merely nodded, moving his fingers to rub his temples. When was the last time he'd slept? "Yeah. Yeah, it is. You guys'll get through this."

"We will," Jordan said, and she gave him a significant glance, but she didn't say more.

JD shrugged off the look, having given up trying to understand what sort of rays she was shooting out of her eyes at him. There'd been too many of them in the past few days. He shifted, stifling a yawn, and leaned back in the chair, trying not to fall asleep. Not that there was anything for him to do awake, at the moment, but...still.

"You need to sleep," Jordan said suddenly, and he jumped, startled by the abruptness with which she spoke. When he looked up at her, she was frowning at him, eyes roving over his body then returning to his. "You look like death warmed over, kid."

JD straightened, dropping his feet to the ground again, and shaking his head a little. "I'm fine; I just had some coffee. I'll take a rest in a bit, after the pump's running."

She scowled at him. "What good are you doing anyone if you exhaust yourself?" she asked. She bent forward, picking something up off the floor. When she straightened JD saw it was a pillow, which she proceeded to toss over the bed at him. He caught it, and she said, "Doze off. Do your little medical doctor sleep thing. I'll wake you when he needs the pump started, and then you're going to the on-call room and getting some _actual_ sleep. Got it?"

JD's lips twitched as he once again put his feet up, settling the pillow behind his head, not bothering to stop another yawn. "Fine. Then you can sleep after I get back."

Jordan didn't reply, merely tilted her chin at him. And despite the uncomfortable position, JD was asleep within minutes.

* * *

Keeping her promise, Jordan awoke him in about an hour. Perry was stirring, the lines around his eyes and between his brows growing tight again with pain, and JD was quick to activate the pump, keying in the code that would allow Perry to control his dosage of pain medication by clicking the button at the end of the control still clipped next to his hand. When he'd finished, Jordan shooed him out of the room, insisting he go sleep, and JD obeyed with little argument, collapsing into one of the on-call room beds without even bothering to remove his shoes and falling asleep almost instantly.

It was dark, when he woke again, and a quick glance at his digital watch told him he'd been sleeping for nearly nine hours.

He threw himself out of bed and sprinted back to the ICU, pausing only long enough to duck into the bathroom and relieve himself, and to splash water onto his face. It was easy to see why Jordan had insisted he get some sleep--he looked as exhausted as she did, the dark circles underlining his eyes, which were bloodshot and a little saggy. There was a crease on his cheek from the fabric of his pillow, and his hair still lay limp across his brow. With a growl that unknowingly mimicked one of Perry's, he shoved it back, and then resumed his trek to the ICU, knowing Jordan would desperately need to be spelled.

When he arrived, though, he paused at the window of Perry's room, heart catching as he took in the sight before him.

Jordan had, at some point, crawled up onto the bed next to Perry. She now lay along his left side, one arm resting lightly on his belly, her head tucked in to his shoulder. His arm was wrapped around her waist, splinted hand sticking out at an angle; in his other hand, his fingers curled limply around the morphine clicker. They were both asleep.

To his own surprise and shame, his eyes filled with tears, and he turned away, leaning back against the window, raising a hand to his face. Of course Jordan didn't need him to hurry back. He bit his bottom lip hard, clenching his free hand until he could actually feel his nails digging into his palm.

"Okay, Bambi?"

He started, badly, and flushed when he met Carla's eyes. "Ish," he replied, trying to smile for her.

She nodded, reaching over and squeezing his arm lightly. "I don't blame you. He's doing fine, though. Elliot checked in a time or two, while you were sleeping...no one had the heart to wake you, even if Jordan hadn't threatened to scalp anyone who tried."

JD smiled slightly. "She did?"

Carla chuckled. "Mmhmm. I would've said it myself, but she already had everyone running scared."

"She's good at that," JD replied, looking back in the window and sighing. "I should go in there, but I don't want to wake either of them..."

"I don't think you will," she said, shrugging. "They're both pretty well out of it. But you still look exhausted--why don't you go back to sleep? They're both doing fine."

"Elliot's still here, right?" JD asked, rubbing his forehead. At Carla's nod, he let out a long sigh. "I'm going home. I need a shower, decent sleep, I want to change... If either of them asks, I'll be back in the morning. When my shift starts."

Carla nodded, squeezing his arm, and he turned away, wandering back toward the door. _If either of them asks._

Yeah, right.

* * *

He didn't know what time it was, but it wasn't morning. He frowned, lifting his head and staring at his clock, wondering what had awoken him.

When his phone rang again, he had his answer. He leaned forward, snatching it off the table, and picked it up. "H'llo?" he mumbled.

"DJ?"

"Jordan? What's wrong?" He scrubbed a hand over his face, trying to wake himself up. Why would she be calling? It wasn't like another doctor couldn't take care of things until morning, and if something was going wrong, well...she was _in_ a hospital, no way he could get there before someone else just as qualified could.

A pause. "Where are you?"

JD blinked. "In bed."

"In bed where? I checked the on-call rooms..."

JD frowned. "I'm at home, Jordan. Carla didn't tell you? She said everything was under control there. And since you and P--Dr. Cox didn't need me while I was out earlier...I came home to get a shower and change and sleep in my bed for a while. I'll be back in the morning...but Elliot's on tonight, and she's really good, in case something goes wrong."

There was a very long pause. Then Jordan's voice, oddly high-pitched, said, "Oh. Well...I didn't see Carla anywhere, but...well, okay. Uh. Sorry I woke you, I guess."

There was a click, and the line went dead.

JD sat where he was, staring at the glowing letters of his alarm clock for a few moments, wondering what the hell that had been about.

And before he fully realized he'd decided to go find out, he was pulling himself up and tugging on fresh scrubs, grabbing his helmet and keys from the table and thundering down the stairs to Sasha. _Least I got a shower..._

Fifteen minutes after she'd hung up on him, JD was pulling open the door to Perry's room. "Hey. What's going on?"

Jordan looked up at him, eyes shining. She'd moved back to the chair, but was clutching Perry's arm; on the bed, there was a low moan.

JD frowned, moving forward, and saw that Perry's skin was pale, beads of sweat standing out on his brow. The older man was clutching at the morphine clicker, but whether he was awake was difficult to see. "Shit," he muttered, very softly. The general anesthetic must've worn off, and the morphine dosage was already as high as they dared make it.

"How long has he been like this?" he asked, coming over and laying a gentle hand on Perry's forehead, all his hesitance disappearing in concern.

"About an hour," Jordan said softly, biting her lip. "I woke up, and he...fuck, I shouldn't've..." she shook her head, lowering her face to her hands. "He said it would be okay, but it's not okay, DJ, _look_ at him!"

"Oh Jordan..." JD shook his head, leaving Perry and circling the bed, crouching down in front of her, gently tugging her hands down and taking them in his. "No, it's not because you were sleeping with him, I promise. The general anesthetic has worn off, that's all. We can't...it's not safe to give him more morphine than he's already on, but it's all he's got, now." He squeezed her hands gently. "I'm sure it helped to feel you next to him."

She snorted, but looked searchingly into his face. "You think so?" she said quietly.

"Would've helped me," he replied simply, squeezing her hands again. "And he loves you so much..."

She released a shaky sigh, lowering her eyes to gaze at their joined hands, then nodded, slowly. "Okay," she whispered. "Yeah--sorry, it's just...hard, to see him like this, and not be able to do anything."

"It really is," JD agreed softly, thinking there was no point in denying it was hurting him, too. "But you can do some things. You can talk to him, stroke his hair, tease him...Just let him know you're here. That should help a lot..."

She looked at him for a long, silent moment, and in the darkness, her face was less readable than usual. But finally, she said, "Then do it."

JD's face went pale, and his eyes widened. "Me?" he asked, surprised when his voice _didn't_ crack.

"Yeah," she said. "Maybe you can get through to him."

"I..." JD started to protest again, but a soft moan from the bed stopped him. "All right," he said, brushing his hair back from his face as he stood up, taking his place back by Perry's side, reaching out a bit hesitantly to once again lay his hand on the other man's forehead, fingers digging soft channels through his curls, gently massaging away the tension there. "Hey, Dr. Cox. Perry. Um...Sorry I took off for a while, I just needed to get fresh clothes, make sure Rowdy had food and water..."

Perry twitched, head turning toward JD's voice, into the gentle caresses of his fingers.

JD tried to push down the surge of tenderness that swelled in his breast before Jordan could see it in his face, but he didn't manage to. He kept up the gentle massage, trying to let himself forget everything but Perry. "Anyway. I'm back now, and I won't be leaving again until Jordan makes me go sleep more. I'd try to make her do the same, but I think she'd squash me." He looked up, winking at Jordan, his usual grin slipping into place on his exhausted face. "So I guess that'll have to wait until you're awake again. At least...I don't think she'd try to squash you right now," he added, voice teasing.

Perry was slowly responding to JD's voice. It was hard to tell, at first, but as he spoke, the older man began to relax. He kept his head turned toward JD, pressing ever so slightly into JD's touch; slowly, his brows relaxed, the line between them fading as whatever spasm of muscle was keeping Perry in pain finally relaxed. Perry released a sigh of what could only have been relief, and as JD watched, the older man's eyes fluttered open, blinking dazedly up into his. "N'bie?" he mumbled.

JD smiled softly, fingers still buried in Perry's hair. "Hey, Dr. Cox," he murmured, for once forgetting to put up any goofy mask or dorkish grin as he looked into the other man's eyes. He just smiled, open and relieved and tired, unaware of what it did for him.

Perry blinked, and a slight smile appeared on his own lips in answer, though it was still tight with pain. He glanced at the morphine pump, and thumbed the clicker, but when JD started to pull his hand away Perry made a small noise of protest. He turned his head toward JD's hand until JD's palm cupped the side of his face, nose nuzzling ever so slightly at JD's wrist. "Thanks," he whispered, before going limp, relaxing once more into sleep.

JD looked down at him, feeling the wiry softness of stubble against his fingers, the remembered brush of Perry's nose against his wrist, the whispered thanks... "You're welcome," he whispered back, before swallowing hard and pulling away, collapsing into his chair with a soft thump.

He looked up, dazed, and saw Jordan watching him with a small smile on her face. "Thanks for coming back," she whispered.

JD smiled, a little uncertainly, and laughed softly. "I guess he just needed his doctor," he said, shrugging a little.

"No," Jordan said, softly but with conviction as she gazed back down at Perry. "He needed you."

"I..." JD bit his lip, not sure what to say. "Well. You know what to do for him, next time."

Jordan looked up at him sharply. "You think I didn't try talking to him?" she said.

"I don't...I'm sorry." JD scrubbed his hands through his hair, still looking at Perry, wondering why it'd worked when he'd talked to the other man, if it hadn't when Jordan had. "The timing, maybe..."

"Fuck the timing, DJ, this has nothing to do with jealousy," she said. "Actually, no, scratch that. It has _everything_ to do with jealousy. But not from me." She leaned forward, staring at him, eyes intent. "Do you honestly think that just because you care about him, it excuses you to just take off when you see someone else caring about him? Because I have to tell you, I don't. Green is an ugly color on you, kid. Stop wearing it."

"I..." JD blinked at her, surprised and more than a little stung. "I'm sorry I left without telling you. I thought Carla would let you know where I'd gone. And I just thought..." He sighed, and shook his head. "Never mind. You're probably right. I just hadn't expected you to...to tell him. Or for him to want me taking care of him after he knew."

"Sweetie, I didn't have to tell him anything," she said. "He knew, at least on some level. And he's not so shallow as to think less of you for it. Hell, kid, it's usually kinda flattering, to find out you're the object of someone's crush."

 _Did she just call me "sweetie"?_ JD shrugged a little, worrying at his lip. "He doesn't like being vulnerable, I know that. Figured it might make it worse, you know? Bad enough to him that I'm seeing him like this as it is...worse if he knew I liked him?" He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Or something like that. Medicine I can do when I'm tired, being logical about my own life...yeah, not exactly."

"Right," she said, leaning back and giving him a dubious look. "Because him knowing you liked him, then watching you bolt when it gets hard is _definitely_ a desirable alternative."

"I went home to take a shower and get some sleep," JD replied dully. "I was coming back in the morning." It'd sound even worse to say he'd thought after not needing him for nine solid hours, another five or six wouldn't make that big a difference. So for once he kept his mouth shut.

Jordan watched him for a long moment. Then she said, "I didn't spend four hours whining to various board members just so you could sit with him as his doctor, JD. I did it because I thought you'd want to be here more than that. Was I wrong? Because I promise you, I can get you your patients back, and you can check in on Perry whenever you have a spare minute instead. That's your call. But I need to know."

JD bit his bottom lip hard. "I want to stay. I just...I don't want to intrude, on you two, and..." He let out a long breath, wondering how he could tell her he just wasn't up to the teasing, the digs, the wind ups, just now. It was supposed to be hard on her, on Perry, they needed a way to release tension, he shouldn't deny them if it was targeting him. He'd deal with it. "I'm sorry. And thank you. For...for letting me be here, and for telling everyone not to wake me up, before."

Jordan huffed softly. "Families look out for each other," she said, so softly JD wasn't sure he heard her.

"What'd you say?" he asked leaning forward in his chair, hoping like hell it'd been what he thought it was.

"You heard me, DJ, now sit back and shut up. When he's sleeping, we're sleeping, that's the deal from now on." She grabbed a blanket and tossed it at him, then wrapped herself in her own and settled down into the chair, closing her eyes.

But there was a tiny smile playing at her lips, and JD felt an answering one spread across his own. He shifted in his chair, wrapping the blanket around himself, and dozed off while watching Perry sleep.


	7. Survivor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta by [](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/profile)[yutamiyu](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/) who rocks all! Thanks again, you are totally awesome.

"You know, Tiffany, watching your doctor drool on himself doesn't inspire as much confidence as you'd think..."

JD started awake, flailing as he felt his ass slip off the edge of the chair, depositing him on the floor in a heap.

"Neither does that."

JD scrambled to his feet. "D-Dr. Cox!" he stammered, trying to wake himself up, and trying to ignore the rather uncomfortable ache in his back, the result of spending the night in a chair. "How're you feeling?"

Perry made a face. "Not fantastic, but not as bad as last night," he said, after pausing for a moment to do a physical inventory of himself. He shrugged, his upper lip quirking wryly. "Guess after what happened, I can't expect to feel any better."

"Suppose not," JD replied, yawning hugely before shaking his head and wiping the sleep from his eyes. He blinked a time or to. Jordan was still asleep in her chair, looking softer than she ever did awake. He felt his own expression soften, looking at her, before turning back to Perry. "I know Elliot looked in on you a few times yesterday when I was asleep...did she or anyone else go over everything with you?" At least Perry seemed awake and aware enough to take it all in now. Not that JD was looking forward to giving him the list...

Perry shook his head. "No," he said, and to JD's surprise, he looked a little nervous. "I got the impression it wasn't good, though...guess they were leaving the dirty work for you." He gave JD what passed for a smile, and nodded. "Hit me."

JD sat down carefully on the edge of the bed. "It's not great," he agreed. "You've got cuts and bruises, of course. A couple of those may scar. Your right shoulder was dislocated, so you'll be using that arm again pretty soon." He went on, mentioning the concussion, the fractured metacarpals, the cracked ribs, the removed spleen. "There was a piece of shrapnel in your abdomen, so they had to do a partial lower intestinal resection. Everything went well in the surgery, though, and we have every reason to believe it will heal just fine. You'll be on a limited diet for awhile, but...well, you know that already." He paused, unable to help himself, gaze flicking to the huge cast on Perry's leg.

Perry's mouth tightened into a thin line when he caught the direction of JD's glance. "Best for last, huh?" he murmured. "Come on, Newbie. Tell me."

"Your ankle was dislocated, as well, and both tibia and fibula were broken, in two places and three, respectively. And your knee...your patella was shattered, and there was extensive damage to the ligaments. You'll walk again, if you work hard enough, but you'll probably limp and may need a cane." JD'd have softened the words if he'd thought it would help, but with Perry...anything less than the unvarnished truth wouldn't be appreciated.

It still hurt to watch the information sink in, though. Perry blinked at him for a moment, then looked down at his leg, then closed his eyes, releasing a sigh and looking away. "Great," he muttered. "Sounds like fun."

"You can hit the interns with it," JD offered, wanting to reach over and squeeze Perry's hand, say something especially comforting...but the ease he'd felt the night before had vanished. "They did what they could, before, but you'll need more surgery later. To remove the pins in your leg and hand, and for a knee replacement. And...that's it."

Perry released a bark of what might've been laughter. "Well, as long as it isn't serious," he said, lifting an eyebrow and meeting JD's gaze. There was something about the way he did it--some strange level of camaraderie--that made JD shiver a little.

"I'd say you were lucky, but I think you'd find a way to hit me if I did," JD replied, smiling a little wryly. "Same for 'it could've been worse'. So I'll stick with just saying you've got a bunch of people ready to give you all the help you need."

"What about you?"

"I'm not going anywhere until you ask me to, and Jordan backs you up," JD replied with a shrug, knowing it was true. "Except maybe home to get a fresh set of scrubs every few days. I didn't get a start on putting you back together to let you fall apart."

"Sweet of you, Bernadette, but I meant what about _you_?" Perry said, voice softer than JD was used to hearing it. "You look like hell. Haven't you been eating?"

"Oh! Um. Yeah..." JD frowned, trying to remember the last time he'd actually had food and not just coffee.

Perry lifted his eyebrows, eyes traveling down the length of JD's body then back to his face. "Not enough, I'm thinking," he said. "Why don't you go get yourself something? I imagine I'll be right about here when you get back."

"If you're sure..." JD hesitated, but his stomach growled loudly, given an opportunity to voice its protest at its emptiness, and he giggled. "Okay, I think I've been overruled. Thanks, Dr. Cox."

Perry snorted. "For telling you to stop starving yourself? No problem. Twenty years in the medical profession, I was bound to make a useful suggestion at some point. Now get out of here, Jill. Oh--and bring something for the Queen of the Darkness, would you? I don't think she's been eating much either."

"I've been bringing her food already, actually," JD replied, slipping off the bed. "But she might've missed last night, so I'll grab her something."

Perry nodded. "Okay. And JD?"

JD paused, eyebrows going up at the use of his name. "Yeah?"

After a momentary hesitation, a genuine smile appeared slowly on Perry's face, and his eyes softened. "Thank you."

JD smiled back, the same soft, real smile he'd given Perry the night before. "You're welcome. Perry. See you in a bit."

* * *

The next week had JD thoroughly confused.

He grabbed sleep when he could, mostly napping when Perry did during the day, ready to be awake in the night if the older doctor once again worried himself into muscle spasms. JD didn't know why he could bring Perry out of it, when Jordan couldn't, but she'd merely shrugged and told him he was welcome to it, and it wasn't really her thing to hang over Perry stroking his hair and whispering sweet nothings to him.

That was the other thing that had him confused. The teasing, the light jabs, the behavior he still would've thought was flirting, if it'd come from anyone else. But it was _Jordan_. Perry joined in, but understandably had other things on his mind, so mostly left the bulk of it up to Jordan.

And JD found himself responding more than once, fielding Jordan's barbs with his own sarcastic or smart-assed answers, finding it did give him a little thrill to see her eyebrows go up and her grin widen at a particularly well crafted retort. It seemed to entertain Perry, too, and he was willing to do a lot to get the other man to smile.

But always, hanging over his head, was the knowledge that Perry'd be leaving the hospital, and sooner than JD would've let him if he'd really had a choice. And then...well. He'd see him for check-ups, probably, though he'd be working more and more with the orthopedist as he healed. So JD wouldn't see him regularly until he came back to work. If he came back.

It made JD cherish the moments they had now all the more. And kept him grateful to wake at the smallest noise in the night, spending the dark just talking to Perry. Not about anything important, but they did talk. JD wasn't sure if Perry had nightmares in the dark, or if it was just that the pain was harder to manage when the sun went down, but either way they spent long hours simply chatting. He learned more about his mentor in those few nights than he'd found out in the past four years, and the box in his head marked "Perry" grew with trivia, facts, and stories.

Perry learned plenty about him in return, but seemed less willing to ridicule him for it. JD actually searched for embarrassing anecdotes about himself just to see the smile on Perry's face, and to hear the girls' names and the teasing when he'd finished.

And all of it, _all of it_ , just made his crush worse. Before, he'd liked the potential of the man, admired him, treasured the few moments they'd had that he hoped would occur more often if he worked his way in. And now, thanks to their odd circumstances, he'd seemed to.

And he was only falling harder and harder.

Not just for Perry, either. His admiration of and attraction to Jordan had only been growing as well, and he actually caught himself wondering which of them he was more jealous of, when he walked in on them kissing softly.

"I'm an idiot," he murmured to his coffee cup, draining it and tossing it aside, heading back to Perry's room. Crushes on the last two people in the world who'd return them--desperate partner-almost-dying sex aside--and he couldn't seem to stop either of them from growing. Least he wasn't sleeping deeply enough to dream most of the time...He really didn't want to start talking in his sleep with both of them in the room and listening. God only knew what he'd say just now...

A time or two he wondered if he'd been talking without realizing it, though, because he'd drift out of sleep to find them both watching him, and in the split second before he was completely awake, he'd see something in their expressions he couldn't identify. It would fade too quickly for him to sort it out in his half-asleep state, and they'd smile and tease him about drooling, and Jordan would offer him coffee or food or whatever she happened to have, or Perry would send him to the on-call room for real sleep, and things would go on as normal. But a part of JD's mind would drift back to those expressions, trying to call them up, and puzzle them out.

He never could, though. And three weeks after the crash, Kelso blustered in and told Perry he was being released to go home.

JD protested, following Kelso out of the room and grabbing his arm, not caring if it got him in trouble later. "Sir, I really don't know if he's ready," he said, voice low. "He's just barely out of the sling, and he'll still have to have surgery on the knee and his hand, and you know Jordan can't handle all his care on her own..."

"Well, sport," Kelso said, giving his arm a significant look, and JD released it, embarrassed. "I'd say you'll have to take this up with them, as they're the ones who've been pushing to get him released."

JD gaped after him, then hurried back into the room. "Okay, what's going on, here?" he demanded, hands flying to his hips as he glared from Perry to Jordan then back to Perry again. "You want to tell me why you decided you're good to go?"

Perry lifted his eyebrows at him. "Well, Ashley, despite the quality service and luxurious accommodations, we decided the honeymoon had to end eventually."

"If all he's going to do is lie in bed and whine, he might as well do it where I can put something on TV and tune him out when he gets tedious," Jordan added, and Perry glowered at her for a moment before returning his attention to JD.

"But...you still need surgery," he protested, frowning. "You'll have to be right back here in a week or so."

"Still a week I'd rather spend in my own bed, if it's all the same to you," Perry retorted. "It's a California-king-sized Denver mattress, and will actually be easier on my leg than this piece of Styrofoam-over-plywood." His eyes softened. "Look, I already talked to the orthopedic surgeon," he said. "He's released me from his service, and they're arranging an ambulance to get me home, and orderlies to get me into the apartment. It's all taken care of, Newbie."

"No, it's not," JD said. "As your primary care physician, you're not free to go until I release you." He folded his arms, trying for stern, but knowing he wasn't doing a very good job of it.

Jordan smirked at him. "And you're not going to, is that so?"

"Maybe I won't," JD said weakly. "I don't think it's a good idea to move him around that much before we get that knee repaired, and he's had at least some preliminary physical therapy..."

"I'm being moved by professionals," Perry said. "I'm being parked on my ass in front of my flat-screen plasma TV, and I'm being waited on hand and foot by my lovely ex here," he nodded at Jordan, "and by the wonderful assistant girl we're hiring. Then I'm being brought _back_ by professionals, and voila. All will be well. Now come on, JD..." his voice lowered, and he looked up at JD persuasively. "Let me go."

JD drew a sharp breath through his nose, barely swallowing the odd choking noise that wanted to escape him. _Let him go._ Yeah, that was the real problem, wasn't it? And he couldn't help but wonder if Perry knew that.

He sighed, slumping a little and shaking his head, but he lowered his arms. "All right," he said, his voice a little dull. "If you honestly think it's for the best...I'll release you. But"--he looked up again, waggling his finger and attempting (and failing) to look stern--"I want it noted I'm opposed to this."

"Duly noted," Perry said, casting a glance at Jordan and reaching out with his good hand to squeeze her fingers.

JD sighed again, turning away under the pretense of checking Perry's IV pump, but in reality he simply didn't want them to see the way his face had fallen, or the way his eyes were now probably shiny with the tears he was desperately trying to blink away.

It was silly. He knew it was silly. After all, Perry couldn't stay forever. And honestly, JD wouldn't _want_ him to stay forever--he knew how miserable the older doctor had to be, stuck at work, of all places. But a part of him, a _large_ part, had come to wish there was a way for things to stay the way they were, with he and Perry acting like friends, and he and Jordan flirting a little, and all three of them working together in a camaraderie that JD knew would vanish, once Perry left the hospital. As long as Perry was here, JD had a reason to be at his side. But as soon as Perry went home...he'd be expected to go back to work, to stop fussing over him, to get on with his life. And he really wasn't sure he could.

But there was no stopping them, apparently; the next morning, he woke early to find a group of paramedics at the door, stretcher between them. And after some very careful maneuvering, Perry was on the stretcher, being wheeled toward the elevators.

JD had offered to help Jordan carry her things to her car--it had been long enough that she'd accumulated quite a few of them--and as they walked, he felt the dull pain that had settled heavily into his limbs grow heavier still. This was it.

He hoisted the last bag into the trunk of the Porsche, closing it, and brushing his hands on his scrubs pants. He glanced up at Jordan, who was arranging the last of the potted plants they'd been sent in the back seat, wondering if he should give her a hug, or just smile and nod. He settled on extending a hand, proud to see it only trembled a little, and doing his best to fix a grin on his face.

"Well, take care," he said, hoping he sounded cheerful enough.

Jordan lifted her eyebrow at him, looking at his hand then back at his face. "You waiting for a tip or something?"

He sighed, slumping and lowered his hand. "No," he mumbled, not even bothering to keep the grin on his face. "Sorry. Guess I'll...see you around." He turned away and shoved his hands into his pockets, face flaming with shame and embarrassment that he'd ever thought their overtures toward friendship were anything other than the indulgent friendliness patients extended toward doctors.

 _Fuck, I'm such a moron...way to go, Dorian, way to stay detached...idiot, idiot,_ idiot!

"Uh, DJ?"

He spun on his heels, turning to find Jordan leaning against the Porsche, ankles crossed and arms folded over her chest. She had an amused look on her face.

"Yeah?" he asked, when several moments passed and she still hadn't spoken again.

"Where do you think you're going?"

He frowned. "Uh...back to work," he said slowly. "At least, that was the plan..."

"And I'm supposed to get all this into the apartment by myself, is that it?"

 _Oh._ He flushed brighter. "Sorry," he said, moving forward again and climbing into the Porsche at her nod. He pulled the seatbelt over his shoulder, drumming his fingers on the door and thinking at least this way he'd get to make sure Perry was settled before he'd have to leave again.

Jordan climbed in beside him and started the car, and the short drive to the apartment was conducted in silence. JD stared blankly out the window, watching the cars pass, trying not to think. The last thing he needed was to break down again in front of them--but honestly, it would be so much more difficult to keep his cool when he had to say goodbye at the door of the apartment instead of the door of the hospital. At least the hospital tended to foster the detachment he'd worked so hard to build. But Perry's apartment...

They unloaded in silence, waiting for the call that would tell them the ambulance was on its way. Perry had to be loaded under the supervision of the orthopedist, so they were waiting for him to arrive before they got going.

As Jordan and JD were settling the last of the plants into the corner of the den, Jordan's phone rang, and they hurried downstairs to hold doors and direct and generally oversee Perry's transportation into the apartment and onto his bed. The older doctor's face was very pale by the time they'd gotten him settled, despite the extra dose of pain medication he'd been given, and JD had to bite his lip very hard against an urge to say "I told you so."

Still, as the paramedics filed out, he had to admit Perry looked a good deal more comfortable in the large bed, legs propped up on pillows. Jordan moved into the room, moving around to offer Perry a glass of ice water, which he took, looking grateful. As she leaned forward to prop him up and help him drink, JD shifted awkwardly in the doorway, wondering if they even remembered he was there. "Well, I...I guess I'll see you around," he said eventually.

They both looked up at him, mildly surprised, and he cringed. _Or not,_ he thought bitterly. "Feel better, Dr. Cox," he said, reverting to the old formality in hopes that it would make this easier.

"DJ," Jordan said, sliding off the bed and moving forward, "I've got something for you."

"Oh, you didn't have to..." JD started, as she reached into her pocket and pulled out an envelope, pushing it into his hands. He frowned, looking down, and opened it, eyebrows going up when he realized the envelope contained a key. "What's this?"

"I don't want to have to play butler all the time," she informed him. "That's your key. Don't lose it. Now come here, and I'll show you where your room is."

"My key? My _room_?" JD blinked at her, knowing his mouth was hanging open stupidly.

"You don't want to be running over from your apartment every time Perry needs something, do you?"

"I...uh..." JD shook his head, looking back and forth between them. "Why would he be asking me if he did? I thought you'd hired someone..." And hearing it was an adorable little assistant girl hadn't made him feel any better about letting Perry out of the hospital.

"You're really dense sometimes, DJ," Jordan observed, cocking her head at him. "How _did_ you get through medical school, when you can't see what's right in front of your face?"

"On my good looks and charm," JD shot back, frowning at her. "You're saying you hired _me_? One of you could've said something."

"And missed this?" Perry chuckled. "Not likely."

"What makes you so sure I'll say yes?"

Perry looked up at him, face unreadable. "Are you saying no?"

"No," JD replied, crossing his arms. "But I'm not saying yes, yet, either. What, exactly, do you want me to do? And I should've known Kelso caved too easily..."

Jordan sighed. "We want you to be here," she said quietly. "Live-in help, basically. We weren't joking when we said 'hired,' either--we're willing to compensate you for the time you'll have to take off work."

"We can find someone else, if you'd rather not," Perry added. "But we'd rather it be you."

JD nodded again, thinking about it. He knew he should be jumping at the chance...get to live in Perry's apartment, see him all the time, do the best he could to make sure the older man didn't do something incredibly stupid that Jordan wasn't strong enough to stop him trying...But could he handle it? Watching them together in their home, being cut off even from his co-workers, who he'd had to ease the pressure the past three weeks?

But if he said no...this was it. He was sure of it. And he knew he couldn't handle that.

"All right," JD said slowly. "I'll see about getting a leave of absence. After all...I'd rather it was me, too," he added, smiling.

"Don't worry about getting leave," Jordan said, a small smile on her face. "I've already taken care of it. It's paid leave, too--only half pay, but it's better than nothing. And like I said--we're willing to compensate you."

JD shook his head, laughing softly. "Should've guessed. All right. On behalf of my student loans, I'll take you up on that. But if something like this comes up again? Ask me first. I would've said yes, but I would've liked to have known ahead of time, okay?"

"Newbie, I solemnly swear that next time I survive a plane crash and need some live-in care, I will ask you before assuming you'll do it," Perry said, looking very serious.

JD nodded, his own expression similar. "That's all I ask, Dr. Cox."

Jordan rolled her eyes at them. "All right, you two, I'm making food," she said. They'd long ago stopped naming their meals--their sleep schedules had gotten so absurd that the names stopped having any meaning. They ate when they were hungry, which was fortunately usually around the same time. "Perry, chicken broth for you."

Perry cringed, giving JD a long suffering glance, and JD bit back a smile, feeling a small thrill of excitement at the inclusion. "Sounds perfect," Perry intoned.

Jordan lifted her eyebrows at him. "Well, maybe you'll think about it first, next time you decide to get a piece of commercial airliner embedded in your guts," she said. Then, turning to JD, she said, "What sounds good to you? I think we have a couple frozen pizzas in the fridge. Or I can order out."

"Either way, it's not hospital cafeteria food, so I'm happy," JD replied, grinning. "But Chinese would be wonderful..."

"Mmm, it would. I'll go make a call and get one of everything."

JD smiled, watching her leave the room, before adding the key she'd given him to his keyring. "I'll have to go home in a bit, get some real clothes and stuff," he observed, looking around the room. No chairs, just the huge bed, with its padded headboard. He'd been in the apartment fairly often, when he was seeing Danni, but never in here...

He glanced back at Perry, and shrugged a little. "So, I've ridden in your Porsche and I'm staying in your apartment...Want me to examine your head again? Just in case?"

Perry chuckled. "Falling out of the sky can make you re-evaluate a few things," he said rather cryptically, shrugging.

"I'd imagine so..." JD shivered internally, making a face as the remembered smell of the crash site rose unbidden in his mind. He wondered if Perry knew he'd been there. He hadn't told him, but Jordan probably had...

Perry tilted his head, studying JD carefully. "You all right there, Newbie?"

"Yeah. Just...you know my imagination. Runs away on me sometimes." JD shrugged again, pushing the images and sense memories away again, closing the door on them. Later, he'd deal with all of that. Not yet.

Perry didn't say anything, but kept watching him, and JD felt himself blush, beginning to fidget. "So...how long do you guys want me here?" he finally asked, not knowing what else to say.

"At least until I'm able to move around on crutches," Perry said. "If that's okay. So probably a couple months. Oh, and we're covering room and board, by the way," he added. "So that's one less thing you have to worry about."

"Might be nice for Turk and Carla, anyway, being all newly-wed and everything..." JD nodded, wishing he dared sit on the bed, but not wanting to risk bouncing Perry, even if he'd known it was okay. "How much of my stuff can I bring over? I mean...is it my room, or am I just crashing here between trips back to my apartment to do laundry?"

"We've got a washer-dryer unit here," Jordan said, coming in behind him with a tray, upon which balanced a mug of broth and a glass of what looked like apple juice. "So bring as much as you want."

"I draw the line at that creepy dead dog, though," Perry added, giving JD a stern look. "It'd scare Jack."

"Speaking of, I'm going to need to go pick him up from my mom's later," Jordan said, turning to Perry. "Is there anything I can get for you, while I'm out?"

Perry shook his head. "Just ask Jana here what she wants from the grocery store, but no, I'm fine."

Jordan nodded, glancing up at JD. "Want to go look through cabinets with me?" she said. "I don't know what all we have at the moment, but we can start making a list."

JD had smiled at that idea of getting to see Jack, though he wasn't sure he trusted Carla not to throw Rowdy out in his absence. But he nodded at Jordan, stretching and yawning suddenly. "Okay. I can help cook, by the way. I'm pretty good at it..."

"Good," Perry grumbled. "Maybe you can spice up the broth."

"Oh, quit whining," Jordan said, reaching out to lightly smack his uninjured hand. "Remember, as soon as you're on real food, you'll have to start pooing in a bedpan."

Perry cringed. "Thanks for _that_ ," he muttered, giving JD another look, and JD suppressed a giggle.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.


	8. Survivor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta by [](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/profile)[yutamiyu](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/) who rocks all! Thanks again, you are totally awesome. And in honor of the holiday weekend, extra parts today and tomorrow!

After half an hour spent digging through cabinets with Jordan, they'd come up with a sizeable list of food items, JD adding things like spices and ingredients he could use to make more interesting foods than the prepackaged things they were apparently used to living on. It was about then their carry-out order arrived, and after fixing their plates, they'd returned to the bedroom to keep Perry company. JD had started to settle on the floor, but after a couple pointed looks from the other two, he'd climbed gingerly onto the end of the bed, settling down and watching the other two engage in their usual banter. He even dared join in every once in awhile, encouraged by the chuckles he drew from them when he did, and by the time they'd finished their impromptu meal, JD was feeling a good deal better about the whole situation. It was obvious they were doing their best to make him feel welcome and included (at least, in their own warped ways), and he felt a small easing in his heart. It still hurt, when Jordan would reach out and stroke Perry's fingers, or swat his shoulder lightly, or any other number of friendly, casual gestures that JD know he dare not attempt, but at least it wasn't as difficult as it'd been those first few days.

After they ate, Jordan left to shop and pick up Jack, and JD carried their dishes back to the kitchen, cleaning up and, after some searching, putting everything back where it belonged. Then, after checking that Perry was still doing all right (the older man had fallen asleep shortly after Jordan had left), he wandered into the guest room, mentally planning where he'd put things, making an internal list of everything he'd need to bring.

His computer, obviously. Clothes, books...there really wasn't much more, and the guestroom was bigger than his room at home in any case. And maybe he could bring Rowdy if he made sure Jack didn't see him...it would be nice to have something around that was so much home to him. But he'd let it go if Perry wanted him to.

Perry. God. He was in Perry's house, living here for the next few months. It was too much to really take in, and he looked longingly at the bed, wishing he dared to fall into it and just sleep for a few hours. But he didn't want to let himself relax that much until Jordan got back and they figured out some sort of call button system.

So instead he went back into the living room, making sure the door to Perry's room was open, before dropping down onto the sofa and turning the TV, volume so low he almost couldn't hear it. But he didn't want to miss anything from Perry.

He switched to Animal Planet, but switched away when Emergency Vets came on. Nothing medical, just now...cartoons it was, then. He yawned, stretching out, giggling to himself as he watched.

And didn't even notice he was falling asleep until it was too late.

But once he slept, he started to dream. He was once again in the park, the smell of blood and flesh and death all around him. But this time he was searching through the wreckage with his bare hands, pushing bits and pieces of plane and people aside with equal disregard, looking for Perry.

He called the other man's name over and over, wondering why no one else was helping, why no one else was around. But he didn't dwell on it, just kept digging and digging, feeling his fingers blister and burn, trying to find Perry, to get to him, to help him.

But when he finally saw the well loved face, the curly hair, it was too late, and Perry wasn't breathing, broken and torn, blank eyes looking up at JD in reproach.

JD started awake, staring at the TV and Spongebob happily flip burgers in the Krusty Krab. "Fuck...just a dream." He groaned, running his hands through his hair, and glanced over at the doorway to Perry's room. Wouldn't hurt to check on him...

He flipped the TV off and went in, sitting very cautiously on the bed beside Perry, eyes flicking toward the monitors that weren't there. That made him almost smile, but he forgot it in reaching out, gently pushing Perry's hair back, examining his face. The bruises had faded, the cut on his forehead healed to a red line. He looked like himself again, not the oddly peaceful and pliable version he'd been when JD had found him at the crash site. But it was pain, not wariness, that kept his face creased even in sleep and JD sighed softly, wishing he could erase it.

He stayed where he was, trying to force the images of his dreams away, and couldn't. It had been so close, and there was still so much left...He closed his eyes, not really surprised to feel tears sliding down his cheeks. _He's alive, though. He's alive, you didn't fail him..._

When the hand gently circled his wrist, he almost yelped. His eyes flew open, and he realized to his mortification that Perry was awake and gazing up at him with eyes too alert to have just been asleep.

He scrambled to scrub his face clean of tears with the hand that wasn't still in Perry's grip, stammering, "H-how...how long've you been...?"

"Long enough," Perry replied softly. He was silent for a long moment, just watching JD, who felt his cheeks go flaming red as he waited for the rebuke, the teasing to begin.

Instead, Perry released his wrist and held out his arms. "C'mere," he murmured.

JD bit his lip, searching Perry's face, trying to gauge if the older man was joking or not. He had so many times... "Really?" he whispered, hating the feeling of more tears pushing their way out and sliding down his cheeks, but unable to stop them.

Perry brought his uninjured hand to his chest, index finger tracing an X over his heart. "Really," he replied, extending the arm again. "Come on, kid."

JD giggled wetly and leaned close, letting out a long sigh when he felt Perry's arms come around him. He was careful, not letting too much of his weight rest against injured ribs, not pressing his face too closely against the recently healed shoulder. But he couldn't stop himself from snuggling as close as he dared, something inside of him relaxing from the tight tension it'd been held in for weeks.

He felt Perry's hand slip up to his hair and begin a gentle stroking. "You've had a rough time, haven't you?" his mentor asked gently, voice rumbling in his chest beneath JD's ear.

JD wanted to say it was nothing compared to what Perry was going through, to what Jordan was feeling, but for some reason he couldn't make his voice work. So he merely let himself nod, very slightly, suddenly absurdly grateful he hadn't spiked his hair lately. He didn't think Perry'd be touching it if he had, and the gentle caress felt so good...

Perry sighed beneath him, and his fingers stopped stroking over the top of JD's head and burrowed into his hair, beginning a gentle massage at his scalp. "This always felt nice, when you did it for me," the older doctor told him. "Thought I could try to return the favor."

"S'nice," JD managed. And it was. If he'd been less disconcerted by his dream, by the fact that he was half-lying on _Dr. Cox_ , by the way he couldn't seem to stop leaking tears, he'd probably be making some sort of absurd purring noise.

"How long since you slept, Newbie?"

JD almost laughed. "About ten minutes. Had a bad dream..."

"You wanna talk about it?"

Letting out a long shuddering breath, JD shook his head, turning his face against Perry's neck, breathing in the reassuring scent of him. "No. S'okay, it wasn't real...Just a dream, right?"

"Doesn't mean it doesn't help to talk it out," Perry reminded him, fingers still massaging gently, splinted hand resting against JD's shoulder. "But it's up to you."

JD was quiet for a long time, just lying there, before letting out a soft sigh. "I was back at the crash site, looking for you, but this time I didn't find you in time," he said, finally, voice dull.

Perry was silent, but his fingers did not pause. After a long moment, he murmured, "Thought it might be something like that."

"I had to throw out the clothes I was wearing that night. Couldn't get the smell out of them..."

He felt Perry sigh again, and for another few minutes, neither of them spoke. Then, suddenly, JD felt Perry shift, and a moment later, he felt the soft press of his lips against the skin of his forehead. "I'm okay, John," Perry whispered. "Thanks to you."

JD squeezed his eyes shut tightly, Perry's soft words pulling up a thousand feelings he wasn't quite sure what to do with. He opened his mouth, but wasn't sure what to say; he closed it again, letting himself gradually relax, finally pulling very gently back out of Perry's embrace, wiping his eyes again. "Thank you," he said, offering Perry a smile that only trembled a little. "For...yeah. Thank you."

Perry smiled gently at him. "Why don't you get some sleep, kid?" he murmured, patting the mattress next to him.

"There's certainly enough room..." JD smiled again, kicking his shoes off and crawling up, leaving plenty of room between them. He would've protested, but he was exhausted and somehow didn't think he'd dream if Perry was right there, looking after him. That was enough to push his reticence away. "Poke me or something if I talk in my sleep?"

"Will do," Perry promised, nodding. "Get some rest, JD."

JD smiled softly, at the sound of his name from Perry’s lips and curled up tightly, wondering if he'd be able to sleep knowing he was in the same bed as Perry.

But apparently his body had no problem with the arrangement, because it pulled him down almost as soon as he closed his eyes.

* * *

"Well, isn't this cozy?" Jordan asked, pausing in the doorway and smiling at her ex-husband.

Perry smiled back, reaching out to stroke the hair from JD's brow. "Told you I could get him into our bed."

"He's still got his pants on, I'm not paying up yet," Jordan replied, smile widening. "There's someone in the living room who wants to see you, if you're feeling up to it. He promised to be extra, extra good."

Perry's eyes lit up. "Yeah, bring him in," he said eagerly--he'd barely seen his son for almost six weeks.

Jordan disappeared, coming back in a few moments later with Jack, who was already holding his arms out for his father. "Pewwy!"

Perry chuckled. "Hey, Jacky," he said, reaching up and taking Jack's hand as Jordan eased herself onto the bed.

Jack struggled, trying to free himself from his mother's grip to get to his father, but Jordan held him, keeping an arm circled about his waist. "We talked about this, Jack," Jordan reminded the child gently. "You can see Daddy but he can't hold you right now."

"Pewwy!" Jack insisted, but settled a little when Jordan bounced him.

It was about then that JD woke up, the small boy's shrill voice piercing the fog of sleep he'd wrapped himself in. In his mind, real mattress always equaled real sleep at home, and no need to wake at every small noise. But Jack's insistence was loud enough to push through that, and he blinked a time or two, looking at Perry's family surrounding him. And he suddenly felt a completely unselfish warmth spreading through him, knowing he'd helped keep this family intact, even if he'd never be a part of it.

He wondered if he should pretend to be asleep, or get up and leave. Either way, he didn't want to intrude--the reunion was not his, after all. He was hired help, not family. _Oh, look, back to selfish..._ He sighed internally, closing his eyes again, trying to block out the soft sounds beside him. More awkward if he tried to leave and they told him he didn't have to when they might rather he did...It was hard to know quite how to act around Perry and Jordan, now. He couldn't predict when they might do something nice, and mean it.

Still, he couldn't quite shut out the sounds around him, and listening to Perry talk to his son, hearing the love and affection in his mentor's voice...JD couldn't keep his lips from twitching. Perry Cox was a lot of things, but when it came to his son, he was a complete teddy bear, and everyone knew it.

It wasn't until he heard Jack ask, "Boobie?" that he couldn't pretend to be asleep any longer.

Perry's long-time habit of calling him "Newbie" had, of course, had an effect on his son. Unfortunately, because Jack couldn't quite pronounce his N's yet, the nickname had been reduced to 'boobie,' a fact which caused Perry and Jordan no end of amusement. The first time Jack had done it, in fact, pointing at JD when JD came over to babysit, Perry had laughed so hard and so long that he and Jordan had nearly missed their dinner reservation.

But JD didn't care, finding the nickname both endearing and amusing, and glad that Jack recognized him enough to assign him a name at all.

Besides, it could've been worse. Jack could've been calling him "Johnny."

He was about to open his eyes, but paused when Perry spoke. "That's JD, Jack," the older doctor said. "Can you say 'JD'?"

JD froze, waiting. Perry had never attempted to correct his son's misconstrued version of his nickname for JD, not that JD ever knew.

There was a moment of silence before Perry said again, "Come on, Jacky boy. Say 'Jay Dee.'" He extended the letters, speaking slowly and clearly, and after a moment, Jack responded.

"Day dee?"

"Close enough, I suppose," Jordan said, sounding amused. "Be about right for us if he calls you Perry and ends up calling DJ daddy, huh?"

JD felt himself start to flush and figured it was past time that he "woke up." He stretched and turned over, hoping he wasn't too red. "Hey," he offered sleepily. "One of you say my name?"

"Boobie!" Jack squealed, reaching for him; Jordan rolled her eyes at Perry and moved to hand the squirming child to JD, both of them extremely careful as they passed him over Perry.

"Hiya, Jack," JD replied, cuddling the boy close and tickling him lightly. "I'm missed you, kiddo, but I'm gonna get to hang out a lot, now that your daddy's home."

Jack shrieked with laughter, squirming. "Ickle! Boobie ickle!"

JD obeyed, tickling him again, pausing when the child's face began to grow slightly pink from his laughter. "Okay, that's enough, kiddo," he laughed, stopping. "We can't get too excited, now."

Jack giggled, burrowing into JD's chest and wrapping his small arms around JD's neck. "Ickle," he informed JD's shoulder, bouncing just a little bit.

JD grinned, glancing up at the other two, only to find them watching with the same odd expression he'd occasionally caught them wearing, when he'd awoken at the hospital. Now, with the benefit of consciousness, it made even less sense than before, because JD rather thought he recognized it, now.

It was...affection. But more than that, it was...

No. No, it couldn't be.

Could it...?

_Love?_

No. It was just Jack, and seeing him happy, and Perry being home, and their kid being cute and JD's own fucking wishful thinking. It had to be. He blushed, and hugged Jack closer, bouncing him a little, looking away before they could see the hope in his eyes.

"That boy's pretty fond of you," Perry observed softly after a moment filled only with Jack's indiscernible chatter.

"I like him a lot, too," JD replied, looking up from where he'd been solemnly nodding at whatever it was Jack was trying to tell him. "He's a great kid...hope I get to have one like him, someday."

He turned back to Jack, but not before he caught the glance Jordan and Perry exchanged. Huh. Well, of course they looked pleased, hearing their son praised...

Jordan slid from the bed, taking Jack out of JD's arms. "We need to be fed, don't we?" she said to him, nodding. "I think we do. Wave bye bye to Pewwy and Boobie, kiddo. Wave bye bye!"

Jack giggled, flailing his arm in the direction of the two men on the bed before turning and hiding his face in Jordan's shoulder. Jordan winked at Perry, and gave JD a small smirk, before turning and heading out of the room. "See you boys in a bit," she called over her shoulder. "I imagine you both have a lot to talk about."

JD raised an eyebrow, and looked over at Perry. "We do? What about?"

Perry studied him for a moment. Then, softly, he said, "Jordan told me. About the two of you, the night of the crash."

JD winced. "Oh. Oh God. I'm sorry, P--Dr. Cox, I really am. I didn't mean for it to happen..."

Perry lifted his eyebrow. "Come on, Newbie," he said. "It's not like you fell into her, then out of her, then back into her again." He grinned slowly, waiting for JD to catch the reference.

"Oh _God_..." JD buried his head in his hands. "Of all the conversations to have twice..."

"Come on, JD," Perry said, and JD felt his hand resting on his knee. "Do I look mad?"

JD looked up, hesitantly. "Well...no, actually. But you didn't look mad last time, either. You just ignored me for weeks."

"Fair enough," Perry said. "Am I ignoring you now?"

JD shook his head. "No... All right, you're not mad." He ran a hand back through his hair, waiting, but Perry didn't say anything else. "Um. Can I ask why not? I mean...it wasn't something I planned or anything, and I guess I should be glad you're not angry, but...I'm confused, too."

Perry tilted his head. "Well," he said slowly. "I guess I'm not angry because I understand, on several levels. First of all, I understand that Jordan's a force of nature, one against which the likes of you or I have no defense. Two, I understand that the two of you were upset, and understandably so, by everything you'd gone through, and seen, that night. Three...well, three, I understand that you were worried about me." He shrugged. "Can't be mad about that, now can I?"

JD felt his lips twitch. "I don't know. You're usually pretty good at being mad about an awful lot of things..."

Perry snorted. "I could throw a few rants at you, if you wanted, but I'm pretty sure they'd suck," he said. "My form's been greatly compromised by the Percocet."

"So I've noticed," JD replied, realizing slowly and wonderingly that this was actually going to be all right. He wasn't sure how, but...it was. "You haven't called me Carol or Ginger or any girl's name in _hours_..." He had to suddenly hold back a giggle, imagining Perry telling him of course he didn't mind that JD had slept with Jordan, lesbians were always hot.

Perry cringed. "Look...it might be the narcotics talking. And you might think this is the strangest thing I've ever suggested, but..." he trailed off, then sighed. "I'm not going to be a basket of roses for the next few months," he said at last. "I'm going to be worse than usual, in fact, particularly once I come down off my happy narcotic-induced high, and start actually _feeling_ all the little things going wrong in my body. It's going to be stressful, for you and for Jordan, taking care of me and of Jack. So I guess..." he made a face and looked at JD. "The bed in the guest room is a queen size," he finished softly. "And I won't take offense to the two of you sharing it."

JD nodded slowly, wondering if the conversation could get any more surreal. "All right. I...don't know if it'll come up, but I'll keep it in mind. I think...it's going to be rough on all of us, I know. I don't...don't know if Jordan would be interested, or even if I'm comfortable with it, but...okay. At the least, I'll be there for her when she needs me and if that's part of it...I...wow. This might be the strangest conversation I've ever had; including the time Carla told me to grab her boobs."

"Better get used to strange conversations, if you're going to be staying here," Perry said, looking sympathetic. "Now, if you don't mind, I could use another Percocet..."

Judging by the conversation, JD was tempted to tell Perry he had quite enough drugs in his system, but he got up and grabbed the older man a pill and the water bottle.

"Thank you," Perry said, downing the pills with a long swig of water. He settled back with a sigh, then looked up at JD, giving him a smile. "Three options," he said. "Crash in your bed, crash here with me, or go talk to Jordan. But if it's conversation you want..." he yawned, and shook his head. "I'd stick with Jordan for now."

"Mind if I take the fourth?" JD asked, unable to keep from smiling back. "I'd like to head home and grab some stuff...It'd be nice to wear something other than scrubs to sleep in."

Perry waved a hand vaguely at the closet. "C'n borrow my hockey jerseys, if you like," he said. "Jordan does often enough. But yeah...keys to the Porsche should be on the front table. Go get some stuff." He yawned. "And bring the dog if you must, but please keep it where Jack can't reach it."

JD knew he was gaping, but thankfully Perry seemed too close to sleep to notice. _Wear my clothes, drive my car, sleep with my wife. Does he think he's dying?_

Perry was asleep before JD could think to ask, though, and with an effort, he closed his mouth, moving into the kitchen where Jordan was talking to Jack, feeding him cut up hot dogs and cheerios. She glanced up at him, smirking at his expression. "What's up, Boobie?"

"He's really enjoying the Percocet," JD replied, shaking his head. "Remind me to tell you what he was suggesting when I get back, and the bouncy one's in bed. I'm going to go to my place and grab some clothes, my laptop...enough so I won't have to leave again for a while. He, uh, told me to take the Porsche, but I think I'll just call a cab..."

"Not on my dollar, you won't," she said, moving forward and picking up the keys, tossing them to him. "We're not paying you to throw your money away. You know how to drive, so drive."

"I'll need to bring my scooter back anyway?"

"DJ..."

JD sighed, and slipped the keys in his pocket. "Okay. I'll be careful, I swear. And I've got you to back me up, if he wakes up and doesn't remember offering, right?"

"What makes you think he won't remember?"

"Like I said, he's a little out of it," JD replied, shaking his head. "But I was mostly making a joke." He reached over and ruffled Jack's short hair, stealing one of his Cheerios to the child's giggles, and smiled at Jordan. "I'll be back as soon as I can. You've got my pager and my cell number if you need anything before then...I'm only about five, ten minutes away, depending on traffic."

"Yeah, well," she said, waving him off. "I'll back you up, kid, as long as you bring it back in one piece. But it will be on your head if it comes back scratched." She winked at him and moved to catch the bowl of Cheerios before Jack succeeded in pushing it off the high chair's tray. "See you in a while."

JD smiled at the pure domesticity of the scene, feeling a sudden sharp stab of want. Wanting to lean over and kiss Jordan's cheek, to be a part of the family...He shook it off, smiling, and headed out of the apartment, to slide into leather seats and comfort and the wish that it was Perry driving, not him.


	9. Survivor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta by [](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/profile)[yutamiyu](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/) who rocks all! Thanks again, you are totally awesome. And in honor of the holiday weekend, extra part today!

The first few days staying with Perry and Jordan were relatively uneventful. Perry slept most of the time, keeping himself well-dosed on Percocet, and Jordan and JD were both happy to let him. JD had chickened out of telling her exactly what the older man's suggestion had been, before, and had mostly decided Perry must've really been out of it, because Perry himself never hinted at it again. JD resigned himself instead to keeping watch over him during the day, and sleeping in the guest bedroom at night, spelling Jordan taking care of Jack, and basically spending most of his time watching movies.

All in all, not a bad gig, though he did sort of miss the hospital. Still, he knew what he missed wasn't the hospital, but the normal life he'd left behind, the night he'd first seen the fiery remains of the crash flicker across his TV; even if he went back, he knew the instant he turned to ask Dr. Cox something then remembered he wasn't there, might never be there again, the illusion would shatter, and he wouldn't want to be anywhere but here.

As for dealing with watching the family and not feeling a part of it, it wasn't nearly as bad as he'd feared. Because Perry slept most of the time, JD was spared a lot of scenes of he and Jordan cuddling, and Jack kept him busy enough. Jordan too. The only real pang suffered with any frequency was saying goodnight to Jordan, watching her walk into the master bedroom to crawl into bed with Perry, while he had to crawl into his bed alone.

And then there were the nightmares.

None as bad as that first day, and he'd gotten used to waking, recognizing his surroundings, and falling back asleep. But it still made his sleep restless, and he knew that, despite the more regular sleep schedule, he wasn't losing the dark circles under his eyes.

He almost envied Jordan her make-up.

He'd stopped spiking his hair, too, in the vague, absent hope that Perry would someday again offer his arms, and maybe massage his scalp the way he had the first day they'd been back. He knew it was silly to hope for, but he couldn't help himself; even if it had been mostly the medication talking, Perry's arms had felt better than he'd ever imagined they could, and the thought of one day being offered them when Perry wasn't in pain, when JD could wrap his own around the older man and hug him in earnest...well. It was a good thing his journal was well hidden.

He was cooking, one evening, keeping an eye on Jack, who was playing quietly with some blocks, when Jordan came out of Perry's room, looking exhausted and worn. JD had a drink fixed for her by the time she'd dropped onto the couch. "Hey. Should I ask how he's doing?"

"He's...argh," Jordan replied, snatching the scotch. "Men," she informed JD, "are insufferable. Doctors more so."

"Then on behalf of all of us, allow me to apologize," he said. "What is it this time?"

"He's about to throw up. So I had to leave the room to save his delicate sensibilities or something. God, he's more of a girl than you are!"

JD shook his head, looking at the closed door over her shoulder. "Told him it was too early to try it..." Perry'd just eaten cream of mushroom soup--insisted on it, against JD's advice.

"Yeah, well, you and me both, but does he listen?" Jordan spat. "Of _course_ not. Heaven forbid he be vulnerable after he survives a fucking plane wreck, right? Not _Perry Cox,_ oh _no...!_ "

"Jordan," JD cut her off, shaking his head and nodding at Jack, who was staring at her with wide eyes. "I'll talk to him, okay?"

She scowled, but waved her hand. "Feel free," she said. "Good luck."

JD nodded, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder, hiding a smile when she jerked away. He nodded at Jack, giving him a thumbs-up and a wave, then headed down the hallway to the master bedroom.

The room was dark--Perry preferred it that way, as prone to headaches as he'd grown--and it was silent, when JD pushed open the door.

"Perry?" he whispered, wondering if maybe the older man had fallen asleep.

But a moment later, that hope was erased, when a low voice, tight with pain, growled, "Go away."

"Sorry, not allowed to," JD replied, coming in and letting the door shut behind him. He flicked on the dim lamp they'd put in, crossing over to the bed.

Perry was lying mostly on his back--the leg didn't allow him to roll all the way to his side, but to prevent bedsores they'd taken to propping him with pillows under his back and rear, allowing his weight to settle from side to side now and then. Right now he was leaning to the right, a basin held very close to his mouth, arm curled over his stomach and eyes clenched shut.

"Please, oh _please_ turn off the light," he begged, and JD obeyed, moving a little closer.

"Headache?" he murmured gently.

"Always," Perry confirmed. "Now listen, Erica, I know you're supposed to be a doctor and everything, but how about we just go ahead and let this one take its natural course? And if it's all the same, I re-he- _heally_ don't need an audience."

JD sighed, stepping closer. "No can do, I'm afraid," he murmured. "We sort of want to keep stuff in your stomach."

"Newbie, I'm warning you--"

"Oh, give it a rest, Perry," JD said, climbing ever so carefully up onto the bed behind the older man. He could feel Perry tense, and knew his mentor was wondering what he was doing; he was halfway wondering it himself, but he knew it'd always helped when he was nauseated as a child, and the last thing they needed was for Perry to throw a suture from the strain of vomiting.

Perry was silent, though whether it was nausea, pain, or the shock of JD actually talking back to him that was keeping him from speaking up, JD didn't know. He decided he didn't particularly care, either; Perry was probably better off if he didn't try to speak right now.

JD moved forward very slowly, settling on his side behind his mentor, taking special care not to jar the bed. Then, slowly, almost giddy with his own boldness, he reached around, sliding his hand over Perry's side and onto his stomach, under Perry's own hand.

"Newbie, what--?"

"Shhh."

JD nestled in behind the older doctor, supporting him against his chest, and began to very gently rub circles on Perry's stomach, using the flat of his palm.

For several long moments, they were both still. Then, slowly, JD felt Perry beginning to relax just a little.

JD started to hum, not really paying attention to what it was, but keeping it soft, soothing. It was for distraction more than anything--something to take Perry's mind off the nausea, even as his hand helped soothe the muscles that were clenching and unclenching as Perry's stomach fought with its last meal.

Slowly, slowly, Perry relaxed further; JD could feel him beginning to slump into the pillows, and impulsively, he slid his hand under the older man's t-shirt, stroking the skin of his abdomen directly, trying not to be distracted at how solid the muscle felt beneath his fingers.

He felt Perry draw a sharp breath, but other than that, the other man didn't react to the sudden and relatively intimate contact; instead, after another moment, he sighed further, and pressed almost imperceptibly back against JD, eyes going from being clenched tight to simply being closed.

JD waited as Perry drifted off, still humming tunelessly; once he was certain the older man had well and truly fallen asleep, he bent forward and pressed a gentle kiss to the base of his neck.

But he stayed another half hour or so, rubbing Perry's stomach in gentle circles and allowing himself to indulge in a fantasy of normalcy, where it was simply another relaxing morning, and any moment Jordan would come in and wake them for breakfast.

* * *

It wasn't the last time, and more than once the absurd thought that Perry was doing this to himself on purpose to just to get his belly rubbed crossed JD's mind. But he knew it was ridiculous...Perry was in pain every time, and wouldn’t put himself in even more for something he could get if he just asked.

Except it would require asking, so who knew? Asking for help was certainly not one of Perry's more practiced skills. A fact that had Jordan fuming at least once every couple days, and usually more. JD sometimes wondered if they'd wanted him around just so someone would keep them from physically mauling each other.

But whatever his ultimate services, it was still Jordan who climbed into bed with Perry at the end of the day, and JD who ended up alone in the guest room curled around the spare pillow.

Two weeks after Perry had returned home, it was time to get him back to the hospital to remove the pins in his hand and do the reconstruction of his knee. The paramedics returned, loaded him up, and took him away; JD and Jordan followed a little later, though they were a bit more leisurely about it than they were the first time.

"Knee reconstruction is a long surgery," Turk had warned them. "Long and boring, basically. I'd definitely bring books, if you think you need to be at the hospital the whole time."

So they had. Not being there simply wasn't an option, so JD had a few research books, his laptop, and a science fiction novel tossed in his backpack, wondering if he'd be able to settle enough to read any of them. He and Jordan got settled and he smiled wryly. "Only time I envy the surgeons..."

Jordan snorted softly. "Least he can't hurt himself, or complain, or yell at anyone for a few hours now."

"I'll bet the surgical team appreciates that," JD said around a yawn, picking up one of his books, glancing up at the clock before starting to read.

And indeterminably long time later, he looked up to see it at nearly the same time.

"Has time stopped, or is it just me?"

Jordan snorted, arms folded as she sat slumped in her chair, book untouched beside her. "I don't think it's fair that _he_ keeps making _us_ wait," she said. "Maybe next week _I'll_ get surgery, and see how _he_ likes waiting around for me."

JD smiled ruefully. "It's hard," he agreed. "It's almost harder this time, somehow."

"I can't figure that one out," Jordan said softly, shaking her head. "You'd think it'd be much harder to wait to hear whether he's going to live than waiting to hear if he'll ever walk again."

JD shrugged. "Yeah, but when we were waiting to see if he'd live, we were still so grateful he was alive so that we _could_ be waiting around to see if he'd live that it negated some of the rest of it."

She gave him a look. "I've been spending _way_ too much time around you," she said. "Because that made sense."

"Or maybe I'm full of shit," JD added, shrugging again. "Who knows?"

"No, I know what you're saying," Jordan said softly. "I mean, last time we were waiting to find out if we were going to lose him. This time we're waiting to find out if maybe we lost him anyway."

JD nodded, trying to imagine a Perry who couldn't get around under his own power, who couldn't stride through the halls inspiring fear. Hard enough to think of him with a cane, but if the surgery didn't go well... He shied away from the thought. "It should go well...But I gotta say I like being the doctor better than the one personally invested..." He shook his head again, frowning. "You and Jack aren't allowed to get hurt, all right?"

Jordan looked over at him and smiled, then leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss at the corner of his mouth. "Promise," she murmured, squeezing his hand.

JD blushed, but squeezed her hand back, realizing just how his words must've sounded. But...well, it wasn't as if she didn't know how he felt, after all. "Um. Good."

They settled back into a companionable (if a little embarrassed, on JD's part) silence, waiting as the minutes trudged slowly toward hours. Turk had explained that due to the nature of the break in the patella, removing the pins alone could take up to an hour and a half or two hours; the joint replacement would take at least that long as well. Fortunately, this time, JD would be allowed back into the recovery room, so as soon as they closed Perry's knee back up JD would see him.

He'd expected Jordan to put up a fight about not being allowed back there herself, but she'd acquiesced with surprising ease.

"As long as one of us is with him," she said with a shrug, when she caught the surprised look JD had given her. "You'll know more about what's going on than I will, and I trust you. You'll make sure he's okay."

And of course he would, but JD was still surprised. Hired help he might be, at the moment, but both Perry and Jordan were making more and more of those sorts of statements, accepting him as a surrogate for the other. Even to Perry's insane suggestion...

JD remembered it, now, and shook his head, looking over at Jordan. It was so absurd, to think she'd even want to share a bed with him, much less...do more. It had made sense when both of them were so upset, had thought they'd lost him, but now...Now it was just insane.

He still wondered what her reaction to the suggestion would've been, though. Probably outright laughter...

He bit his lip, wondering if he should bring it up. It would be something amusing to pass the time, anyway, but...knowing him, he'd end up blushing fit to burst. And besides...he wasn't exactly in the best emotional place to listen to the woman he had a crush on laughing at the idea of sleeping with him.

He sighed, instead, grabbing the sci-fi book-- _Ender's Game_ , recommended by Sean--and flipped it open, thinking maybe he could at least get started.

* * *

Four hours (and one completed book) later, Turk appeared in the doorway of the waiting room, and called to them. "Guys? We're done."

JD pushed himself up from his chair, running a hand back through his hair, exchanging a look of anxious relief with Jordan. At least some of the waiting was over... "How'd it go?"

Turk nodded. "Well," he said simply. "I can take you back there now if you want--Dr. Stone's washing up but he said he'd meet you in recovery and tell you what to expect."

JD nodded, dropping his book back in his backpack and tossing the bag into the seat next to Jordan. "See you soon," he said to her, squeezing her shoulder lightly before following Turk out of the room. "It really went okay?"

"It really did," Turk said, glancing back at him and giving him a gentle smile. "Don't worry, buddy. As long as he sticks with therapy, he should be fine."

JD let out a soft sigh, feeling the muscles in his neck and shoulders finally beginning to unclench. A bit. Therapy was going to be a _bitch_...

He followed Turk into the recovery room, following him over to the curtained-off portion where Perry was now resting, still out from the anesthetic. They had him on oxygen, but he looked a thousand times better than he had the last time JD had seen him in the hospital--a fact of which JD tried to keep reminding himself.

Turk nodded to him. "I'll let you check him over. Dr. Stone will be in soon."

"Thanks, Turk," JD said, blushing slightly. He opened his mouth again, but wasn't sure what to say, so just shrugged. "I mean...thanks."

"I know, man. Go be with him."

JD crossed over to Perry as the surgeon left, reaching up to gently stroke his hair away from his face. He looked so much better than he had before, and the lines of pain that had become so much a part of his face were eased now. He seemed to be simply sleeping, but JD knew the real cause of that peace was he'd simply been given enough medication to be lifted out of the pain that had become a constant part of his life.

JD sighed, glancing around for a chair, settling down into it when he found one. Perry wouldn't wake up for another hour or so at least, and there was no sense trying to get him to; best to let him stay out of pain for as long as possible.

He'd been sitting next to the older man for about ten minutes before Dr. Stone finally walked in, giving him a nod and a handshake. "Dr. Dorian," he said. "Good to see you."

JD shook his hand in turn, smiling. "Good to see you, too, Dr. Stone. Dr. Turk told me things went well?"

"They did," Stone nodded, looking down at Perry. Or rather, looking at Perry's leg. JD bit back the urge to roll his eyes--surgeons could be _so_ focused on the parts and just flat-out miss the whole, sometimes. "We ended up having to remove a part of the patella, but only a small fragment. The rest of it is healing up nicely. Everything went smoothly with the replacement, and he'll be free to go probably within a day or so--I understand he has home care?"

"He does," JD confirmed. "Me."

"Oh!" Stone raised his eyebrows, looking surprised, but nodded. "Well, good, then, I'll only have to give these instructions once. He's going to need to start attempting straight leg lifts after about--oh, five or six days, probably. They're going to be difficult, and painful, but we want to start restoring the quadricep muscle as soon as we can. And he'll need to be bending that knee as much as he can. I know it'll be awkward around the other cast, but for optimal recovery of his range of motion, it's crucial he start early."

JD nodded, committing the information to memory. At least Perry was used to working out...maybe that would help. JD didn't like to think if it'd been him; was inherently lazy about exercise, doing as little cardio as he could get away with, most times. But Perry was used to working hard on his body...even if it wouldn't exactly be doing what he wanted it to, now. "We'll make sure he does, then."

Stone nodded. "Good. Well, if you're his PCP, I'll just officially sign things over to you, and as soon as he wakes we can move him back to a room."

"Thanks," JD said, and in a few minutes they'd signed the release forms that turned Perry's care officially back over to JD. Stone shook his hand, gave him his pager number and instructed him to call if he had any questions, then left.

JD slipped the piece of paper with the number into his pocket, then turned and settled back down into the chair, heels propped on the mattress, and waited.

* * *

He'd nearly drifted off again when he heard Perry beginning to stir.

He sat up, blinking a little, and lowered his feet to the ground, looking up at the bed. Perry was stirring, eyelids fluttering and brows drawn together in a look of confusion.

JD got to his feet, moving forward, allowing one hand to go up to Perry's brow and stroke there softly. "Perry?"

"Mnn...nuh-huh...?"

"You're in Recovery, Perry. The surgery went fine..." JD smiled softly, still stroking his forehead, trying to imagine doing this only two months ago.

"S'good..." Perry turned his head into JD's hand, clearly struggling to open his eyes. "S'good, right...?"

"It's very good," JD assured him, changing the stroking of Perry's forehead to a soft caress of his cheek, grateful the older man probably wouldn't remember these moments. It made him bold enough to indulge in them.

"Is, um...." Perry started, then frowned, eyes opening a little wider. "Is there...?"

JD leaned closer, waiting. "Perry?" he prompted. "Is there what?"

Perry blinked at him. "I dunno..." he murmured. "Guess there's just...wanted to know, you know..." He lifted one hand and waved it vaguely before letting it drop back to the covers. "S'gonna be fine..." he mumbled, then drew a deep breath and released it on a sigh again.

JD held back a giggle. "It is. You're going to be okay. Want to get a bit more sleep?"

"S'Jordan okay...?"

JD was surprised to feel no stab of jealousy when Perry asked this, just a soft warmth, thinking of Jordan trusting him to be here. "She's fine, Perry. I'll let her know you woke up as soon as you're out again. She knows everything went really well. Said she's gonna start making you wait around for her in a few weeks, just for revenge."

"C'n wait for a while..." Perry replied, then chuckled, apparently finding his response amusing.

"She can, huh?" JD asked, giggling aloud this time. "How're you feeling? Or can you tell?"

"T'sall right," Perry informed him, eyes drifting over to rest warmly on JD. "How're you?"

"I'm fine," JD replied, grinning and stroking Perry's hair again. "Just been waiting around to make sure you were, too."

"S'nice, Newbie," Perry murmured, and when he looked up at JD again, his expression was like JD had never seen it: his smile was soft, genuine--vulnerable, even. Trusting. Adoring. His eyes were half-lidded, gleaming with affection and love.

JD swallowed hard against it, wishing he could just once see Perry look at him that way and know it was real. Because now...must've been the anesthetic. "Then I won't stop," he whispered, trying to keep his voice steady.

"No, mean...s'nice you were waiting f'r me," Perry said. "S'nice of you to've been worried 'bout me. Thanks."

"Come on, Perry, where else would I be?" JD asked, smiling slightly. "Probably would've snuck in even if I'd still been working."

Perry giggled--an actual, honest-to-god _giggle_ \--and JD's heart melted. Without pausing to think, he bent forward and pressed a soft kiss to the very corner of Perry's mouth.

Or at least that's what he'd planned to do. But Perry, either by accident or having realized JD's intentions, turned his head at the last minute, and caught the kiss full on the mouth.

JD pulled back, knowing his face had gone deeply red, internally praying Perry was even more out of it that he seemed and wouldn't remember this in a few hours, because oh holy hell, had he really just kissed him?

He had. And he was sure there were rules about that sort of thing. After all, Perry'd told him to have Jordan share his bed, not to share Perry's. "I..."

Perry giggled again (God, JD would _never_ get tired of that sound--coming out of the large, usually stern man, it was just too damned adorable), and reached up to tug at a strand of JD's hair. "Kissed me," he announced, voice more slurred than before.

"Yeah, guess I did," JD replied, taking Perry's hand and settling it down on the bed again, lacing his fingers with the other man's. What the hell, go with it, Perry seemed pretty close to passing out again. "You helped, though."

"Have ta help more often..." Perry yawned, eyes fluttering and slipping closed again. "N'bie?"

 _Am I having a daydream? I must be..._ "Yes, Perry?"

"Stay with us, okay?" he mumbled, then his breathing went deep and even as he drifted off to sleep.

"Where else would I be?" JD murmured again, still softly stroking Perry's hair.

But Perry was already gone.


	10. Survivor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta by [](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/profile)[yutamiyu](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/) who rocks all! Thanks again, you are totally awesome.

It took another fifteen minutes or so before he was able to tear himself from the older man's side, but eventually he went back out to the waiting room, reporting on Perry's status to Jordan. He decided to leave out the part about the kiss--Perry wouldn't remember it, that was for certain, and JD decided to keep it a secret. One he'd guard closely, and treasure, during the long nights he had to sleep curled alone in Perry's guest room, and in his own apartment, once the older doctor was up and around again.

Or at least up and around enough that he wouldn't need JD anymore.

_"Stay with us, okay?"_

God, what JD wouldn't give to hear Perry say that, awake and alert and under entirely different circumstances...But he wouldn't, so he told Jordan only that Perry had been silly and giggling, but seemed well enough. "He should be out of here in a day or two. And then we get to start him on physical therapy..."

"Imagine that'll be fun," Jordan said, sighing. "All right. When can I see him?"

"I've left orders to get him moved to a room, now that he's woken up," JD replied. "They're putting him on the orthopedic floor--room 229, I believe. Want to go wait up for him?"

Jordan nodded, gathering her things together. "Lead the way."

JD did, nodding and responding to the greetings of people who acknowledged him, feeling oddly out of place in the hospital. Had it really been nearly six weeks since he'd last come to work? And ages yet to go...

He shook himself, pushing those thoughts aside, and moved into the private room where Perry was now sleeping. He felt himself blushing, unable to prevent it, as he and Jordan walked to the older man's bedside and gazed down at him.

 _Oh, my God...I kissed him. He kissed_ me. _He may not have meant to, but he did..._

Jordan reached out and stroked Perry's cheek gently, a frown of concentration on her own face. "He looks better," she concluded at last, glancing up at JD. "Doesn't he?"

JD nodded, still blushing. "He does. The little lines around his eyes are gone. Stronger pain relief than he's been getting..."

Jordan was watching him, a curious expression on her face. "And just why is it you're suddenly going scarlet, Scarlet?"

"He...uh...he was really out of it, when he woke up before," JD replied, trying to make himself stop blushing and failing miserably. " _Really_ out of it."

Jordan looked him over, eyebrows lifted. "What'd he do, proposition you or something?"

So much for keeping the moment to himself. "He kissed me. I mean, he giggled, and it was so silly and cute and I leaned over to kiss his cheek and he moved and...and kissed me, and said he should do it again."

He wasn't exactly sure how he'd expected Jordan to react--he didn't really think she'd be angry. First of all, they'd slept together, and she'd just kissed him in the waiting room. Annoyed, maybe? Irritated?

He was pretty sure he wasn't expecting her to roll her eyes and smirk. "That dumbass," she muttered. "It would take anesthetic to get him to finally make a move."

"For him to...What?" JD knew he was gaping at her, over the bed, but... He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. "Why would he want to make a move on me?"

"Because he likes you, you idiot," Jordan informed him. She shook her head again. "Look, it's not my place to be telling you all this, so you'll have to drag it out of him when he's conscious and coherent again. Speaking of--any estimate on when that'll be?"

"Conscious and coherent could be a few more hours, though he'll probably wake up again before that," JD replied automatically, trying to process what she'd just said. "He...he likes me? But..."

"But what? You're _surprised?_ " Jordan snorted, waving her hand at him. "Come on, DJ, you're supposed to be brainy. He invites you into his home, he responds to you when he's having one of his damned spasms, he fakes nausea just so you'll crawl up onto bed with him and rub his belly--what do you _think?_ "

JD blushed, ducking his head. "I didn't want to assume...I mean...nothing can happen, so I didn't want to get my hopes up..." He let out a long breath. "I like you too much to...I've almost messed things up between the two of you before, and I don't want to do it again. You both mean too much to me..."

She rolled her eyes. "Listen, kid, this isn't a conversation I want to be having without him, so put all the sad puppy dog looks on hold for about a day, could you? But if it was hoping you were afraid to do, well...start hoping."

"I...okay," JD agreed slowly, wondering what in hell was going on. But finding he didn't really care, that much, if Jordan was telling him to hope. And, cautiously, he let his imagination loose on the problem, drifting back over the past month and a half: the looks, the exchanged glances between the two of them. Perry opening his arms to JD, holding him gently, kissing his forehead. Jordan smiling at him, kissing his mouth. The flirting. Teaching Jack to say his name.

_"Now come here, and I'll show you where your room is..."_

_"Falling out of the sky can make you re-evaluate a few things."_

_"The bed in the guest room is a queen size. And I won't take offense to the two of you sharing it."_

_"N'bie? ...Stay with us, okay?"_

But...what did it all _mean_?

JD shook his head and just watched Jordan watch Perry, wishing again that he could somehow be a part of it. Was that what she was saying? That they wanted him to be?

 _Do I want to be? If that was it, and it was like...a permanent threesome, would I want that? With them?_ JD worried his lower lip between his teeth, looking back and forth between the two. And tried to imagine it.

Then stopped, abruptly. It felt too good, too _right_ , and no matter what Jordan said, it was too much to hope for.

Then what else did she mean? That he'd be their permanent little side dish? Someone to fuck, when they were too frustrated with one another? A sounding board to hear their rants, to babysit when they wanted to go out, to basically continue being live-in help, absorbing whatever scraps of affection they saw fit to toss him?

He sighed to himself, knowing that was a far more likely explanation.

But it didn't feel right, either, not with how they'd been acting. He growled to himself, and picked up Perry's chart, trying to lose himself in the familiar, technical aspects of his job and stop thinking about his personal life for a bit.

It almost worked.

* * *

The next two days were some of the most agonizing JD had ever endured.

Perry'd woken up a few hours after the rather strange conversation he and Jordan had, feeling a good deal less giggly than he had the first time he'd woken up. Fortunately, he didn't suffer much nausea from the anesthetic, and the next day or so he mostly spent sleeping to recover from the surgery. Every time he was awake, JD would feel himself grow tense, wondering if they would broach the topic again, or if the older man even remembered kissing him.

But he could never bring himself to mention it, and Jordan and Perry didn't seem inclined to do so either, so he continued to fret, imagination torturing him with half a dozen possible scenarios, each more unlikely than the last.

At last, though, they took Perry home, and he expected something might come to a head there, once the distractions of the hospital were gone, and it was just the four of them again. JD went into the kitchen, fixing lunch for the three of them, glancing up toward Perry's room every few minutes. "Just fucking ask already, Dorian...You're driving yourself insane..." he muttered.

He loaded the food--beef broth and apple juice for Perry, grilled cheese and tomato soup for he and Jordan--onto a tray, carrying it carefully down the hall and using his foot to nudge into the room. "Order up," he said, trying for cheerful, wincing when his voice cracked a little nervously.

"Good," Jordan quipped, even as she moved to the take the tray from him and settle it onto the bedside table. "We were about to have the manager send us a different waitress."

"Sorry, one of the other customers was getting handsy," JD replied, dropping into the chair by the bed. "Had to fend him off before I could get your food."

Perry snorted, reaching for his mug of broth and giving the grilled cheese sandwiches a longing glance before sipping at it with a sigh. "Well, can't have that," he murmured. "I don't like anyone getting fresh with _my_ waitress."

JD couldn't keep from blushing. "I'll make sure the management is informed."

Perry lifted the mug at him and nodded his thanks as Jordan reached for one of the halves of grilled cheese, dunking it into the soup before taking a bite and humming her approval. "Good thinking," she said.

God, why wouldn't they just _say_ something? Here he was, blushing and practically stammering, and they were just letting it go! _I knew they liked torture, but this is ridiculous._ He cast his mind around for some way to bring it up without having to to bring it up. _Oh God, I'm not even making sense in my own head._ "Of course, it's a little hard on the waitress. Not being allowed to get fresh with anyone..." _I am so pathetic._

Perry and Jordan both glanced up at him, Perry's eyebrows lifted, a small smirk on Jordan's lips. "It seems to me," Perry said, "that would sort of depend on the waitress, wouldn't it? After all, the more decent customers wouldn't want to make any advances that would be considered... _unwelcome._ "

"Well, the waitress would hardly want to intrude on a private dining experience..." _He's got me referring to_ myself _as a girl._ But JD wasn't going to drop the ruse, pathetic as it was. Even if his face was already the color of his soup.

"Mmm," Perry said, glancing at Jordan.

"Don't look at me," she said. "You're the idiots who are insisting on keeping up the stupid waitress analogy."

"You started it," Perry pointed out.

"And I rue the moment the thought entered my head."

JD's lips twitched, even as his blush somehow seemed to deepen. _I wonder if my face could actually explode?_ "Um...well...we could drop it."

"Indeed we could," Jordan said, giving Perry a Look. "All right, then, JD. Tell us what's on your mind."

JD opened his mouth to say he'd meant drop the whole thing, but...dammit. He was going crazy as it was, and at least he'd know. "Okay. I...like you. Both of you, actually. But you're, you know, together, and I don't want to mess that up, especially since I almost have before, but...but I keep getting the feeling you might be flirting with me and I'm really confused."

"Hah!" Perry looked at Jordan, holding out his hand. "Pay up!"

She rolled her eyes. "It'll have to wait, I don't have my wallet on me," she said, voice sarcastic. "And I don't think this counts as a victory yet. Do _you_ see him naked? I sure as hell don't."

"Well, not _yet_ ," Perry said, though he withdrew his hand. "But I think I've still won in intent."

"I'm supposed to be naked?" JD asked warily, looking back and forth between them. If this was supposed to unconfuse him, it wasn't really working. "Why?"

Jordan rolled her eyes at him. "The bet was on whether or not we could seduce you," she said. "I don't think it counts as a completed seduction until you're naked in bed with us."

JD swallowed hard, feeling tears sting his eyes. Of course it'd just been a game. "Oh. Um. Then I guess you're gonna lose, Dr. Cox, sorry..." He pushed himself up out of the chair.

"Now, hold your horses, there, Newbie," Perry said, voice gentle. "She's not giving you the whole story. Did you even wonder _why_ we'd decide to do something like this?"

"For shits and giggles?" JD suggested, wishing they'd let him go so he wouldn't embarrass himself any further by crying in front of them.

"Well...yeah, partly," Jordan said, shrugging. "But mostly because we're both more or less crazy about you."

JD's brain screeched to a halt. "You're...what?"

"We like you, we're attracted to you, we're warm for your form, 'excuse me, sir, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours?'" Perry said. "We want you, Newbie."

JD thumped back down into his chair, eyes wide. "Oh. Well. That's...convenient?"

They both smirked at him, and Perry reached out with one hand, gesturing for JD to join them on the bed. "C'mere," he said.

JD hesitated for a moment, before cautiously climbing up, staying near the foot. "What do you want me for? I mean...as slightly more personalized live-in help? Or..."

Perry and Jordan glanced at one another again, then Jordan looked back at JD. "Look...we don't have flowers or chocolates or anything particularly fancy, but...I suppose you could say we're asking you out. Of sorts."

"So not just a sex buddy thing?" JD couldn't believe he was actually rationally talking this through, but...he wanted to know, before giving in any more and finding out he'd just let himself in to get shafted and hurt. Again.

Perry snorted. "Do I look like I'm going to be _anybody's_ sex buddy any time soon?" he retorted. But when JD still hesitated, he softened a little. "No, JD, not just a sex buddy thing," he said. "We're aware this is a little...unusual, but...well, we care about you."

"And you're great with Jack," Jordan added. "And he adores you."

"And you're good at keeping us both from killing each other," Perry agreed. "Look...you don't have to answer right away, and if you're not interested that's fine, no harm done. But we'd like to give it a go, if you're game."

"I'm game," JD replied, almost surprised to hear himself answer so quickly. He blushed, but smiled, very shyly. "Can't let you lose that bet, now, can I?"

Perry huffed, folding his arms across his chest. "You were pretty ready to a minute ago," he said. "You even pulled out 'Dr. Cox' on me. I think an apology is in order, Newbie."

JD's blush deepened, but his grin turned sly. "Should I kiss it and make it better?"

Perry grinned back. "That's the sort of apology I'm most likely to accept," he agreed. "Get up here, kid."

Moving slowly so as not to jar Perry, JD crawled up the length of the bed, settling beside Perry. He took a deep breath, reaching up to lightly brush the older man's hair back, before cupping his cheek and leaning in, pressing their lips gently together.

A moment later he felt Perry's fingers in his hair, brushing down from his temple to cup the line of his jaw, tips resting lightly on his cheek. The older man's mouth responded to his, pressing back warmly, moving a little, and just before they pulled apart, JD felt the tip of Perry's tongue trace teasingly along his lower lip.

"Oh..." JD blinked at Perry, eyes wide and shining. "So, am I forgiven?" he managed, a moment later, licking his lips slowly and thoroughly.

Perry smiled, the soft, genuine, vulnerable smile he'd offered JD in the recovery room. "Think so," he replied. "That's a yes, then, huh?"

JD nodded, shyly, looking over at Jordan, before returning his gaze to Perry. "Definitely. I mean...I really like both of you, and...and I've been wishing I could be a part of...of what you have." He ducked his head, grinning. "And I've been wondering who I was more jealous of, when I've seen you kissing."

Jordan laughed lightly. "We've seen a few of your longing, angsty gazes, yes," she agreed. "You really know how to put on the wounded puppy dog face when you want to, you know it? We didn't stand a chance."

"I don't do it on purpose," JD protested, but he couldn't help grinning wider. Could this really be happening? "But good."

"Well, on purpose or not, I had to witness one too many of those expressions," Perry said. "So from now on, I'd ask you to endeavor to stop putting yourself into situations that create the need for said expressions, if you could be so kind."

"I'll do my best," JD promised solemnly.


	11. Survivor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta by [](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/profile)[yutamiyu](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/) who rocks all! Thanks again, you are totally awesome.

The rest of the afternoon passed in a sort of strange, happy blur for JD. They ate lunch together, chatting about this and that, laughing and teasing one another. Knowing the looks of affection and flirtatious glances they tossed him were real made JD at once more at ease and more tense; he even attempted some awkward flirting back, and though it had never exactly been his strong suit, Jordan and Perry fortunately didn't ridicule the efforts, for which JD silently blessed them.

But they didn't talk much about what exactly they were planning to _do._ Standing in the kitchen, washing their dishes from dinner, JD pondered their new situation. They couldn't exactly go on dates, at least not with Perry's leg the way it was, and JD wasn't terribly fond of the idea of going out with Jordan and leaving Perry alone. And it wasn't like they could do anything physical yet, either--not all of them together, anyway. And again, the thought of excluding Perry was less than appealing to him, much as his body might've appreciated the physical release Jordan could've offered.

But they didn't speak of it, and despite his happiness, as the afternoon wore into evening and the evening to night, JD found himself feeling more confused than ever as to how this was going to work.

He ran the dampened dish towel over the edge of the last plate and stacked it in the cabinet, then folded the towel itself over the oven handle before turning and glancing at the microwave clock. It was just after eleven--they'd watched a movie with dinner, and had put off the clean-up until after it was over. Now, however, Jordan was likely settling Perry in to sleep, changing into her pajamas to join him. He supposed any further discussion of their new situation would have to wait until morning. If, in fact, they hadn't changed their minds by then.

He sighed, heading down the hallway and opening the door into his bedroom, rooting through the piles of laundry for a clean shirt to sleep in.

They wouldn't change their minds. Would they? If they'd been seducing him for weeks, as they claimed, then surely now that they had him they wouldn't decide they didn't want him...

He paled suddenly, remembering his situation with Elliot; how he'd chased her for ages, and once he finally had her, he'd realized any actual love he felt for her had long ago been lost, and all that was left had been the thrill of the chase.

But...that wouldn't happen now. Would it? Sure, Jordan and Perry tended to be impulsive, and okay, they weren't always the most aware of other people's feelings, but...to do something like this, to lead him on, to let him in, then turn around and change their minds...?

Shit. Would they? Now that they had him, now that they'd won him over, would they lose interest?

Shit, shit, _shit!_

He sighed, changing into his t-shirt and stripping down to his boxers, pulling back the blankets and climbing in, trying to calm himself down. There was no sense in freaking out about it now, after all--if things didn't happen, well...he wasn't really any worse off than he was before, right? Sure, maybe it would suck a little--okay, a lot--to have been offered everything he wanted only to have it taken away, but...he could deal with it. He'd dealt with worse. He was John Dorian, after all--he was the _king_ of rejections.

He cringed, chuckling ruefully as he tugged the blankets up, curling on his side and fisting them under his chin. He'd just have to cross that bridge when he came to it, he supposed. Wasn't like he had any other choice, really.

He settled further into his mattress, gazing absently at the clock next to his bed, then jumped, startled when he heard a knock at his door.

"Yeah?" he said, pushing himself up a little.

The door opened, and the light from the hallway filtered in, Jordan standing silhouetted in the gap. "DJ? What are you doing?"

"Going to bed?" JD replied, blinking at her. "Sorry, did you need my help with something else?"

Jordan studied him a moment in silence, and JD squinted, wishing he could read her expression. Finally, she said, "Yeah. I could use your help getting Perry more comfortable."

"Oh! Sorry," JD said again, sliding out of bed and blushing slightly when Jordan looked him up and down. God, he'd had sex with the woman twice, why was he embarrassed for her to see him in his underwear? Even if the boxers did have little happy faces on them.

She smirked, but didn't comment, leading him back down the hallway to the master bedroom. He stepped inside to see Perry resting much as he'd last seen him, lying on his back on the right side of the large bed. The older doctor was watching him, expression inscrutable, and JD frowned, glancing at Jordan then back at Perry. "What...how can I...I mean, what do you need...?"

Behind him, Jordan shut the door, and nodded toward the bed. "Hop up, and I'll show you," she said. JD, with his back turned to her, missed the wink she threw at her ex husband.

JD climbed carefully up on the bed, knee walking over to Perry's side, blushing again as the older man's eyes flicked down to his boxers. Why hadn't he worn the plain ones? "So..."

"So," Jordan said, moving up onto the bed behind him. "I think Perry would be _much_ more comfortable if you would just..." she trailed off, putting her hands on JD's shoulders and pushing him gently down onto the mattress. JD wobbled a little, then, realizing what she was doing, drew a sharp breath and obeyed, settling onto his side, Perry's smirking face only a few inches from his.

"What do you think, Perry?" Jordan said. "Is that better?"

"Hmm," Perry murmured. "Closer, but...I think I'd be _more_ comfortable if he'd just..." he reached out, taking JD's arm and drawing it around his waist. "Yeah," he murmured after a moment's consideration. "That does help."

JD tried to relax, letting his arm rest lightly against Perry's side, realizing after a moment that he was holding his breath.

Jordan poked him lightly, sliding in behind him, chuckling when he gasped softly, before breathing normally again. "Don't pass out on us, DJ."

"I...no," JD agreed, swallowing and licking his lips softly.

Perry chuckled, reaching out with his good hand and guiding JD's head to his shoulder. "Settle, Newbie," he murmured. "We're not going to molest you. Not yet."

"I can't make that promise," Jordan said as she pressed in behind him, winding her arm around JD's middle and planting a soft bite at the nape of his neck.

JD's breath hitched and he pressed back against her without quite meaning to, a soft moan escaping him when she did it again, just a bit harder. "J-Jordan...you'll make me bounce the bed..."

"Hmmm..." Jordan nibbled his ear, rubbing her hand over his belly, dipping low. "Then move over."

She slid backwards, tugging at his hips to get him to follow her.

JD would've protested, but one look at Perry showed him a look in the other man's eyes he never thought would be directed at him, and he let Jordan tug him over, following her, his head tipping to the side to give her teeth better access. "God..."

Jordan hummed, swinging her leg up and over JD's hips, and JD realized that under her gown, she wore nothing at all.

 _Fuck...they'd_ planned _this..._

He arched beneath her, moaning again, and she bent and began a passionate assault on his exposed throat, nibbling, licking and sucking, apparently unconcerned that her ministrations would definitely be leaving marks.

And JD couldn't find it in himself to mind. Fuck, it was turning him on more, knowing she was marking him. He arched again, groaning to feel her rubbing herself against him, his cock rising further at the feeling. "Oh _fuck_..."

"Show me what else he likes."

JD's hips twitched hard and he opened his eyes, looking over to see Perry watching them intently, good hand settled over the front of his boxers and moving slowly against himself. He groaned at the sight, hips jerking up again, and above him, Jordan made a small noise of pleasure at the motion.

"I think he likes watching you," she breathed, even as she continued to roll her hips against him, rubbing herself against JD's fabric-covered cock.

Perry smiled, eyes darkening with lust. "That true, Newbie?" he murmured, giving himself a long, gentle squeeze. "You like watching?"

JD whimpered, when Jordan pressed down against him again, unable to tear his gaze away from Perry. The cast hadn't ever been a part of his daydreams, of course, but otherwise...this was a dream come true and he was afraid it would all melt away in a moment. "I...fuck, yeah," he managed, hands skimming up Jordan's thighs to hold her in place and grind up against her.

"I rather like it too," Perry responded softly, and as JD watched, Perry slipped his hand into the front of his boxers, and pulled out his cock, which was long, flushed and quite hard. JD swallowed, realizing he was salivating, and wondered if it was actually possible to have one's eyes pop out of one's head.

"This is what it does to me," Perry continued in a whisper, stroking himself slowly, teasingly, cupping his fingertips at the head of his cock and using his thumb to rub gentle circles over the head. He closed his eyes briefly, teeth biting his lower lip, and then opened them again, looking up at Jordan. "Tell me how he feels, Jordan," he whispered.

"He's hard, twitching against me...so eager, aren't you, DJ? Gotta teach you some patience..." Jordan ducked down, sinking her teeth into the join of JD's neck and shoulder, sucking hard when he mewled in response, hips bucking up under hers. "And he's wearing too many clothes," she added, sitting up again, her hips rocking lightly as she tugged his t-shirt up over his head.

If any part of JD's brain were still functional, he would've attempted to help her; as it was, all he could do was gape at her as she worked the clothing up over his head, tugging his arms out of the sleeves and tossing the shirt to Perry, who bring it to his face and inhaled deeply, stroking himself a little faster.

"I think you may be wearing too much, too," the older doctor informed his ex wife, and Jordan smirked at him, squirming a little over JD.

"What do you think, DJ?" she murmured, dragging his hands up her thighs and under her gown to her waist, the silky fabric draped over JD's wrists. "Do you think I'm overdressed?"

JD managed to nod, hands moving over her skin, now that they'd been placed there, following the line of her back up, then down again. "Definitely." He pulled himself up, sliding his hands down to start gathering the fabric at the hem, before sliding them up, until her nightgown was off, puddled beside them. And then he kissed her, hands cupping her face and drawing her close, tongue sliding into her mouth, relearning barely familiar territory.

"How does she feel, Newbie?" Perry murmured, voice low and soft. "How does she feel moving against you?"

"Softer than I expected," JD murmured, breaking the kiss, looking into Jordan's face. Her eyes were open, wanting. Amused, of course, but with affection in them as well, and he couldn't help smiling to see it. "And like she could take me and break me, and I'd only ask for more. Like I could take her, and know she'd accept everything I had to give and give it back." His words were directed to Perry, but he was speaking straight to Jordan, his hand smoothing back her hair, looking right into her eyes the whole time. "Amazing. She feels amazing."

"Do you want to be inside her?" Perry whispered. "Do you want to feel her around you, Newbie?"

"Well, duh," JD replied, grinning, looking over at Perry. "How could I not?" He laughed, as Jordan pushed him back to the mattress, shaking her head at him.

"I think he can wait for a moment," she said, smirking at him and moving away only long enough to brace herself next to her ex husband and take him deep into her mouth.

Perry groaned, the hand he'd been using to stroke himself extending toward JD, who took it in his own automatically. "She's...she's very good at this, JD," Perry whispered, then gasped, arching ever so slightly when Jordan's head suddenly dipped lower.

Jordan lifted her head and looked at JD, dragging her lips slowly up Perry's cock before plunging down again, then back up. She drew away, swirling her tongue at the very tip, teasing at the slit, making Perry groan deeply.

JD let out a soft groan of his own, watching her, imagining that mouth moving on him. And then his eyes flicked up to Perry's face, imagining making the older man feel that way. And either way... _Oh God, I am so fucking_ lucky _!_

Perry whimpered, biting his lip and tugging on JD's hand. "Kiss me," he whispered, voice ragged.

He didn't have to be asked twice. JD scooted over, bracing himself on his hands and knees, his lips pressing against Perry's and parting quickly, doing his level best to make the older man moan again.

It didn't take long.

A few moments later, however, he broke away with a gasp; Perry's hand, no longer holding JD's, had crept beneath him and was now cradling his cock and balls, fondling them lightly through the fabric of JD's boxers.

"Oh _fuck_..." JD's hips pressed forward before he could stop them, and he ducked his head, groaning when Perry squeezed.

"Like that, Newbie?" Perry whispered, voice a little tight as he squeezed again, rubbing the heel of his hand over the weight that lay in his palm.

"Uh...uh huh..."

"Your boxers are damp," Perry told him, tracing a line over the front of them. "Is that from you, or from Jordan, I wonder...?" He didn't pause for an answer, slipping his hand inside the flap and dragging his fingertips up to the tip of JD's cock. "Ah," he murmured, thumb catching some of the fluid there. "I'm thinking both."

Jordan suddenly moved up behind him, tracing a line down JD's back to the waistband of his boxers. "I think he should be out of them, Perry," she murmured. "Don't you?"

"Couldn't agree more," Perry replied, releasing JD's cock and withdrawing his hand.

JD might've protested, but a moment later he couldn't bring himself to do so; Jordan had slipped his boxers down over his hips, letting them pool at his knees, and began trailing a line of licks and wet kisses down his spine, toward his cleft. Meanwhile, Perry's hand resumed its work at his cock, teasing and stroking.

 _If this is a dream, I hope I don't ever wake up..._ JD gasped and whimpered, hips canting first forward, then back, trying to press into both their touches at once, especially when Jordan didn't stop where he expected her to, but kept going. "Oh God...Oh _God_..."

"All right, Perry, I'll pay up," Jordan offered, before returning to her work, managing to get JD to shift his weight enough to relieve him of his boxers and spread his knees wider apart, her fingers teasing over his hole. "I'll bet he'll be a sweet fuck..."

JD gasped again, feeling his cock jump at the words. He looked up, to catch Perry's reaction, feeling wonderfully caught between them.

Perry was gazing up at him with eyes hooded with lust. "I bet he will be," he murmured. "Can you imagine taking him at the same time? Me buried inside him...him buried inside you?"

"God, yes," Jordan purred, and a moment later, JD felt something hot and wet press against his opening.

Jesus fucking Christ, she was rimming him. Oh God... JD let out a hoarse cry, pressing back into the touch, his forehead falling against Perry's shoulder as Jordan took firm hold on his hips, keeping him still as her tongue moved on him, licking, flickering and then holy fuck, pressing _in_... "Oh God...oh fuck, that...oh _fuck_..."

"Think he likes that," Perry murmured, sounding amused and aroused at once; against him, Jordan hummed in agreement, and JD squeaked at the resulting sensation.

"Soon, Newbie," Perry murmured, hand stroking in earnest, "I'll be doing that to you, too. Preparing you, with my fingers and my tongue...then, when you're good at stretched, I'll take you, press myself deep inside you...oh, it'll feel so good, you'll be so hot, so _tight_..." He twisted his wrist, groaning a little.

"I...yes...Fuck, Perry...Jordan...oh _god_..." JD wasn't even sure what he was trying to say, just let the broken words escape from him as the two of them wound him tighter and tighter with their touches, their caresses, and Perry's deadly words. "M'close..." he gasped, finally, as the tell tale prickles of heat began to race under his skin.

"Good, Newbie," Perry whispered, stroking him faster. "Good...let it go. Come for us. We want you to..."

Jordan again hummed her agreement, her hand reaching up to play with his balls, press in behind them, and JD had only time to draw a breath before he exploded, spilling in long spurts over Perry's fingers.

"Oh, fu-u-uck..." he groaned, barely retaining the presence of mind not to simply collapse forward on top of Perry as the older man's fingers continued to milk him, pulling a few more spurts from his cock before he finally shuddered to a finish. He dropped his head to Perry's shoulder once more, still braced on his hands and knees, and tried to catch his breath.

"I think he liked that," Jordan said, and JD could hear the amusement in her voice.

"I think he did," Perry murmured in reply, and his hand gave JD's softening cock one last squeeze before moving to JD's hair, playing through it gently.

"Brill-brilliant observations, both of you," JD managed, still panting. "What was...your first clue?"

"Oooo, he's sassy," Jordan said, swatting JD's backside lightly. "I like that."

"Could give him something better to do with that mouth of his," Perry suggested, and while his voice was teasing, when JD lifted his head there was a touch of uncertainty in his eyes. JD read it easily: Perry wanted him to know he didn't have to do anything he wasn't comfortable with.

Touched, JD just smiled and licked his lips. "What'd you have in mind?" he asked, slowly sitting back on his heels and looking Perry up and down. "Because if it's what I think it is...Jordan? Tell me what he likes?"

She smiled, lifting her eyebrows, expression approving. "I can do that," she murmured. "You have the right lips for the job, too." She slid backwards, making room for him, and sat back on her heels. "Take him in your hand," she instructed softly. "To hold him steady. And start slow--just kiss the tip. Use your tongue if you like."

Trying to remember what had felt good with the few blowjobs he'd received (if not for several years), JD nodded, rearranging himself to reach out and gently stroke Perry's cock, still not quite believing this was real. Wow. There it was, and here he was actually touching it and...wow. He leaned forward, just brushing his lips over the head, tongue flicking out to lick up the moisture that gathered. The flavor was a little bitter, the scent strong and musky and very, very _male_ ; combined with the way it twitched in his hand, and the way Perry moaned softly, fingers burying themselves in JD's hair...it made his mouth water, and his once-sated cock begin to twitch again.

"Good," Jordan murmured. "Swirl your tongue around, if you like. Don't be afraid to improvise a little. Just be careful of your teeth."

Getting a sudden picture of Jordan doing something to him, and then pulling back so he could repeat the move on Perry, JD did as he was told, tongue moving over Perry's cock, licking and tasting, before he let his mouth slide over it, covering his teeth with his lips.

"Oh, fuck, Newbie...that's nice," Perry sighed, hands stroking over JD's head gently. "That feels really, really good, kid--oh, _God_ , yeah, keep...like that, _yesss_..."

Oh God. Hearing Perry make those noises, knowing it was because of _him_... JD opened his eyes and looked up, meeting the older man's gaze for a moment before he dropped his eyes, pulsing his tongue along Perry's cock, trying to remember what he himself liked best.

"Fuck, yeah...oh, shit...I'm..."

"Stroke him," Jordan whispered, voice hoarse, and when JD glanced at her he realized she was kneeling, legs parted, and was rubbing herself with the flat of one hand, hips rolling just a little while the fingers of her other pinched one of her nipples. She was gazing at JD, eyes dark with lust. "Tight and fast, at the base. And suck on the head. He's close."

Again, JD did as he was told, placing one hand at the top of Perry's right thigh to keep his injured leg still as the other hand stroked just as Jordan told him it should, his mouth pulling back, tongue sucking and swirling around the head of Perry's cock, just waiting for the other man to finish.

Perry groaned, tapping JD's head urgently. "Newbie...Newbie, I'm gonna...I..."

"Swallow him," Jordan whispered, voice tight. "It's not that bad, and it gets him so hot, JD...swallow him."

JD was glad his instincts matched Jordan's direction, and he merely took Perry a bit deeper, keeping up the stroking, humming softly under his breath. And then found himself swallowing, as Perry's cock suddenly spasmed in his mouth, and began pumping a salty, bitter fluid into his throat.

It wasn't pleasant, but it wasn't terrible, and it was more than worth it, to hear the long groans and whimpered words of lust that spilled from Perry's mouth as he came long and hard, into JD's mouth.

"Fuck...oh, Newbie, oh, fuck yeah, shit...Oh, JD, that's so good, fuck, don't stop... _oh_.."

Then he went limp beneath JD, hands still stroking his hair gently, hips and cock twitching as he whimpered. JD lifted his eyes, and saw Perry's head was arched back, eyes closed, mouth hanging open. At JD's movement, he opened his eyes and gazed down at him, and a slow, genuine smile spread across his face, beaming with love and sated desire.

"Well done, Newbie," he murmured softly. "Very well done."

JD grinned, slowly pulling back and letting Perry fall from his mouth, licking his lips. "Thanks. I'm a fast learner." He knew, soon enough, he'd be freaking over realizing he'd just given Dr. Cox a blow job, but just now...he was too proud and satisfied.

And ready again, he realized, when Jordan slid over and cupped his cock in her hand.

"I've been patient," she murmured, moving forward and capturing JD's lips in hers. "But enough is enough."

JD kissed her back, letting her taste the remains of Perry's release in his mouth as she pushed him down onto the mattress, straddling him once more.

"I trust, DJ, that you already know how to do this?" she asked, raising herself up and capturing his cock within her with no preamble, sliding slowly down the length of it, her head falling back as he filled her.

"Oh," JD breathed, resisting the urge to let his own head fall back, wanting to watch her moving above him. He bit his lip, hands resuming their former position on her thighs, and watched with wide eyes as she began to rotate her hips in a slow circle, grinding down and raising herself up before pressing down again. "So beautiful..." he murmured.

Jordan smiled, tightening all around him, making his hips jerk upwards to cause an answering gasp from her. One of his hands slid down from her hip, across her belly, and to their joining, finding the small nub he was searching for and flicking it, lightly, feeling her shudder all over.

Sometimes, being a doctor and having a knowledge of anatomy was a very, very good thing.

He glanced at Perry, and saw the other man was smiling at them, eyes glazed with a sleepy sort of longing. He smiled back, then looked back up at Jordan, snapping his hips up and rubbing her gently with the pad of his thumb, pressing in and letting her press back as she moved on his cock. " _Fuck_ ," he whispered as she clenched down again. "That's...that's nice..."

"Mnnhmm," Jordan moaned, lower lip held fast between her teeth. She was close, much closer than he was--but she'd been waiting longest, and after all, he'd already had one turn.

Deciding she'd taken plenty of the initiative for one evening, he caught her up in his arms, and drew her down, rolling her to one side and moving up on top of her. She looked startled, at first, then suddenly grinned, lifting an eyebrow at him as if to say, _All right, I'm game. Show me what you got._

JD looked up at Perry, grin widening, and gave Jordan a few deep, hard thrusts, before slowly pulling out. She moaned, looking disappointed, until he slid down her body, nuzzling at her belly and into the wiry curls at her groin before reaching his goal. He heard her gasp, felt her thighs tense as she drew her knees up and apart, and smiled once more before pressing forward, pillowing his lips against her and extending his tongue, tapping lightly at her clit.

Jordan cried out, shaking, but her thighs stayed apart and he slid one finger into her slick warmth, then two, curling them forward against the slight change of texture inside her. And there he pressed, alternating fingertips, wriggling them, all as his tongue tapped and licked and pressed and flicked her clit.

She was clearly worked up, because it didn't take long. A few more minutes, and she was clamping down around him, arching strongly, thighs trembling as she pulsed and came, hard, all around his fingers.

Without wasting any time, JD removed his fingers and his tongue sliding up and entering her again, thrusting powerfully. She wailed, a high-pitched, keening sound, and her nails clawed at his back as her hips met his thrusts raggedly. He felt the sweat breaking out all over his body as he moved in her, bringing her to orgasm again, feeling his own building. Finally, as her legs lifted and wrapped around his waist, and her teeth sank into his shoulder, he cried out, grinding to a halt and coming deep within her in hard, short spasms.

He collapsed to the side, pulling her close, feeling her still panting against him, little shocks running through her and through him until he softened and slipped out. "Oh holy fuck," he murmured, finally, propping himself up to look down at her and kiss her softly. "You're amazing. Both of you," he added, looking over his shoulder at Perry.

Perry grinned, stretching as well as he was able around his cast. "Brilliant observation, Newbie," he said. "What tipped you off?"

JD giggled softly, sleepily. "Mmm. The putting me into a sex coma when you're still in a cast is part of it."

Jordan sighed heavily, clearly heading that direction herself. "Well," she mumbled. " _I_ told you I wouldn't promise not to molest you. So at least one of us was telling the truth..."

Perry rolled his eyes. "Hey," he said. "Why are you guys still all the way over there?"

"Because the demon lady removed all my bones," JD replied, rolling over until he was closer to Perry. "Ow," he added absently when Jordan pinched him.

Perry grinned, opening his arms to the younger man. "She'll do that," he agreed. "Get over here, Newbie. I didn't get my fill of this before she stole you away the first time."

"And who removed all of my bones?" Jordan grumbled, pushing JD closer to Perry and fitting herself in behind him, one arm reaching over to rest on Perry's side.

JD smiled, pressing shyly close against Perry, settling his head on the older man's shoulder. "Nice sandwich..."

"I'd like a Newbie on rye, hold the mayo..."

"Shut up, Perry."

JD giggled softly, already on the edge of sleep. Well. This was much better than going back to the guestroom alone...

It took him a second to realize he'd said that out loud.

Neither Perry or Jordan responded aloud. However, Perry bent forward and pressed a kiss to JD's forehead, Jordan leaned forward and kissed his neck, and both wrapped their arms more snuggly around him.

And JD fell asleep there, held between them.


	12. Survivor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta by [](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/profile)[yutamiyu](http://yutamiyu.livejournal.com/) who rocks all! Thanks again, you are totally awesome. The end, and thanks for coming along for the ride!

JD wasn't sure what time it was, but it wasn't morning yet when he woke again.

At first, he wasn't sure where he was. But a moment later, the sound of light snoring met his ears, and he began to register the weight of the arm wrapped over his waist from behind, the gentle rise-and-fall of the chest beneath his ear.

And like that, it all came screaming back to him.

Oh. Oh, God. He'd slept with Jordan-- _and_ Dr. Cox. They'd invited him into their bed, and he'd accepted and they'd...oh, fuck, they'd done _everything_.

Everything everything. _Jordan stuck her tongue in my ass. Oh my God..._

He lay where he was, too shocked and worried even to shift his weight, although his full bladder made the reason for his waking obvious. _How am I supposed to manage this? And did I really put out that much on the first date?_

Of course, they hadn't exactly given him much choice; Jordan had lured him into their bedroom, claiming she needed help arranging Perry into a more comfortable sleeping position, and once there, she'd definitely been the one to make the moves. He'd reacted pretty quickly, of course, but he hadn't initiated anything...and they _had_ all been pretty tense. Worry about Perry, about his surgery, and now about whether he'd ever walk again, had left all of them pretty wound up. He supposed it made sense they'd eventually ended up relieving that tension...

_Just don't panic. They liked it, you know that. You liked it. It'll all be okay...And holy fuck I have to pee!_

Unable to ignore it any longer, JD started to try to disengage himself from the two of them.

Jordan mumbled something and released him, rolling away and curling with her back to him. JD breathed a sigh of relief, moving to carefully uncurl Perry's arm from around his shoulders, and slide off the end of the bed.

He managed, and darted to the bathroom, relieving himself quickly. He washed his hands, then turned off the sink and stepped back into the hallway.

And found himself hesitating between returning to his room and returning to the master bedroom.

He bit his lip. What had they meant, anyway? For him to sleep with them all the time now? Or had his settling in for the night simply been an allowance granted due to the fact that he probably would've collapsed in a boneless heap if they'd tried to get him to leave?

It wasn't that he doubted they'd wanted him there--their reactions had proven otherwise--but even if they did want to...to date him, as it were...they'd only declared their intent to do so earlier that afternoon. It was just...it was early, wasn't it? To be assuming the shared intimacies of the bedroom went beyond sexual ones?

He groaned, leaning against the wall, running his fingers through his hair. And, thankfully, heard a noise from Jack's room that let him put off deciding for just a bit. He headed in--after a short stop to pull on a pair of scrub pants, because naked in front of the boy would be embarrassing--and found Jack standing in his crib, babbling to himself.

JD smiled. "Hey, kiddo. You're supposed to be asleep, you know."

Jack burbled at him, and JD laughed, picking him up and carrying him to the rocking chair.

A few stories later, and the boy was sleeping once more. JD set the last book aside and looked up, to find Jordan watching him from the doorway. He flushed, looking back down at the boy in his lap. "He was awake when I got up to use the bathroom..."

Jordan smirked. "I know. We heard you on the baby monitor," she said, nodding at the walkie-talkie like appliance on the dresser. "You've got the perfect voice for Little Red Riding Hood, you know."

JD groaned softly, lowering his head and holding Jack in a little closer, hiding his face in the child's hair. "That by your decree or Perry's?" he asked, trying to keep his voice light, all the while wondering if it were possible to spontaneously combust from sheer mortification.

"It was a joint decision," Jordan replied, smiling. "Come on, DJ, come back to bed."

JD stood up, gently setting Jack back in his crib. "Um...where?"

Jordan shook her head, coming closer and smoothing Jack's hair back gently. "You are such an idiot. Come on."

JD flushed, following her out of the child's room, and feeling himself smile when she turned and headed back toward the master bedroom. She walked in and moved toward the closet, pulling off her robe, and tugged on one of Perry's hockey jerseys instead before grabbing one and tossing it to him. "Here," she said. "It'll get cold later and these are fantastic PJs."

From the bed, Perry sighed. "That's _not_ why I bought those, Jordan," he said, tossing JD a wink when JD looked uncertain about putting on the one he held.

Jordan crawled right back into bed, shaking her head at Perry. "You've got enough clothes for screaming at the TV, Per."

"You can _never_ have enough clothes for screaming at the TV," Perry said, sounding a little sanctimonious; JD giggled in spite of himself, even as he tugged the jersey over his head. It was nice--good quality, not the cheap impressions JD'd worn in the past, and he couldn't help but sigh at the very noticeable remnants of Perry's scent in the fabric. It was huge on him, of course, but he didn't mind, hugging himself a little before turning his attention back to the problem at hand: where to sleep. Jordan was leaning over Perry, murmuring something to him, and he grinned as she bent to peck him quickly on the mouth. He shuffled a little, awkward, looking down and feeling, yet again, like an intruder into their lives.

_How many times will I have to be invited before I feel welcome?_

"Newbie?"

He looked up to see them both watching him again, Perry's eyebrow lifted. "You coming, or what?" The doctor said, jerking his head toward the space between he and Jordan.

"Wasn't sure where you wanted me," JD replied, flushing slightly. "This is all...it's all pretty new to me."

"Yeah, well, it isn't something we make a habit of either," Jordan told him, grin softening just a little. "But right now you're the newest, so we both wanna snuggle you, so c'mere already because it's three thirty in the morning and I want to go back to sleep."

Deciding it probably wasn't the best time to tease either Perry or Jordan about admitting to wanting snuggles--especially when he wanted them himself--JD did what he was told. He crawled carefully back up the bed, settling between Perry and Jordan, shyly sliding his arm across Perry's chest. "This all right?"

"Works for me," Perry murmured, clearly halfway back to sleep already; he tucked his arm around JD's shoulders and closed his eyes, and JD felt the broad chest rise then fall as Perry took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, contentedly.

Jordan pressed up behind him, her arm going around his waist, and as JD settled his head onto Perry's shoulder, she pressed in against his neck, leaving them in much the same position they'd been in just before they'd...well. Before things had gotten interesting, earlier.

But they wouldn't be this time, JD knew; they were all too exhausted for that. Still, as he felt himself drifting, he couldn't help but hope their little encounter from before hadn't just been a fluke. Because, as Jordan's soft, sleep-slow breath tickled the nape of his neck and Perry turned his head to rest his cheek against the crown of JD's, he knew he was falling, and falling fast. He wanted them--but more than that, he wanted _this._ Wanted to tease, wanted to steal Perry's shirts and have a turn on diaper detail and drive Jack to get check-ups and pick up dry cleaning. He wanted to be a part of their lives--wanted to be a _family._

And, as sleep crept up at last to claim him, he finally let himself hope that maybe, just maybe, they could be.

* * *

Epilogue

* * *

JD stared at the TV through Rowdy's legs, too lethargic to get up and move him. He and Jack had been playing with the dog in the middle of the floor last night, and he'd been left propped on the coffee table, a towel tied around his neck from their game of "Underdog," one of Jack's favorites.

"I really wish you'd get rid of that thing," Jordan remarked as she walked by the couch, heading toward the kitchen. "It's creepy."

"Quiet, he'll hear you," JD complained, picking up the remote and changing the channel, stretching his arm out to pat Rowdy consolingly on the head.

"Yeah, and I'd hate to hurt the feelings of a disgusting old dog."

"Then don't tell her she looks fat in her new dress," Perry suggested, walking into the room wearing a pair of jeans and a black polo shirt, leaning on the cane JD had bought for him a few months ago. When JD and Jordan both looked up at him, he paused. "We are talking about Jordan's mother, right?"

"Ha, ha," Jordan said, flinging a dish towel at her husband.

Perry caught it deftly, and used it to swat JD over the head. "Get your coat, kiddo, we gotta go."

"Where are you going?" Jordan asked, leaning into the fridge to pull out a carton of juice.

JD swung his legs over the side of the couch and rose to his feet, picking Rowdy up and propping him against the wall. "Perry has an appointment with Dr. Rossiter," he reminded her, pointing to the calendar, where the date was circled and the doctor's name scrawled in JD's handwriting. "He's going to do another x-ray, and see if we can remove the last couple pins yet."

Jordan said, "Ah," then went back to pouring the orange juice into one of Jack's bottles. She tucked it into the diaper bag, and moved over to the two men. "All right," she said, leaning up to kiss Perry on the lips. "You two behave while I'm at Mom's, okay?"

"When do we not?" JD asked, leaning over the back of the couch so Jordan could kiss him too.

Jordan lifted her eyebrows at him, a disbelieving smirk on her face. "How about last time, when you decided it would be a good idea to rent porn and have sex in the living room without locking the door? Danni's still not recovered from that, you know."

Perry grinned at JD, then said, "Hey, she didn't seem in any rush to get out, did she, Newbie? Stood and watched for a good three or four minutes before she decided to announce herself."

"At least," JD agreed, batting his eyelashes at Jordan, who rolled her eyes at them both. Perry chuckled, then swatted JD's head lightly. "Come on. We're gonna be late."

"Have fun, you two," Jordan said, voice mockingly sweet. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"That leaves us with plenty of options, doesn't it?" Perry said, giving JD a thumbs-up as he moved to the door, JD following close behind.

"JD, smack him for me, would you?"

JD grinned, and gave Perry a slap on the ass as the older doctor moved out the door. Perry growled. "Ooooh, you're paying for that one later, Newbie."

"Promises, promises," JD teased, grinning and sticking out his tongue.

Behind him, he heard Jordan heading toward Jack's room as the toddler began to fuss, waking from his nap. He paused in the doorway, turning to watch as she moved down the hall and opened the door, voice going softer and slightly higher as she greeted the child. Once she'd vanished into his room, he turned back around, this time letting his gaze fall on Perry. The older man was still limping, probably always would, but he was moving much, much better than he had been, the muscles in his forearm flexing as his fingers gripped the silver top of the black cane.

As it sometimes did, the domesticity of the situation overcame him, and JD bit his lip, eyes going a little misty as a lump of emotion swelled in his throat. God, he was so lucky. This...this was his family. This was _right._ Wrapping his arms around his middle, he smiled, sending a swift, silent prayer of thanks to whatever power had seen fit to give him this happiness.

"Newbie! Hop to it!" Perry called, frowning a little as he stuck his arm out to hold the elevator door open.

JD grinned, blinking away the almost-tears and tugging the apartment door shut behind him. "Coming, Perry," he said, and Perry's eyebrows shot up as JD's voice cracked ever so slightly on the other doctor's name. He studied the young man carefully as they stepped into the elevator, concern shining in his eyes.

"You okay, kid?" he asked once the door slid shut, his voice soft and gentle--a tone of voice JD heard more often now than he ever dared hope he would.

JD smiled, nodding. "Yeah," he whispered, turning and tucking his head into Perry's shoulder and feeling his smile turn to a grin as Perry's arm came up to wrap around his shoulders. "I'm okay. I'm perfect."


End file.
